[Fury] Family Lyin (August, Bon, Dog, SeaTac and Vignette 6.2)

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All,

Some time has passed since the encounter in the forest.

You're all at the Arrow's Hideout. The place is quiet, with Arrows moving to and fro without much talking. Only the occasional cough rings through the air and bounces off the tin walls. It came on quick, the sickness that's put Zeus on her back, spending her last moments here surrounded by her sisters.

Dog, what's the plan for Zeus' burial? Rainey wants to do something special, a big party at Yellowhouse, but Cujo's been deadset against it for some reason. What have you told your gang so far?

Bon, Zeus told you she doesn't want anything done, that it's her time. How are you handling that? Will you wear her name?

August, Zeus asked you to tell her a story earlier. What was it about? Where are the Grindhouse folks, any of them here?

SeaTac, you're here at Laika's request. She told you she wanted Joey to see Zeus off, but then she mentioned she wanted you here, too. How are you handling that? Are you inside the place or watching outside or what?

Vignette, you've just arrived. Zeus asked Tin Girl to fetch you from Pike. What did she interrupt? When you come in, Cujo stiffens, moves back from Zeus' deathbed, like she's making room for more folks, but is she avoiding you?

Zeus
With heavy lidded eyes, Zeus catches your entrance, Vignette. She's pale and thin, her wrinkles have wrinkles and her whole body is sagging. She coughs weakly and it seems painful, sure as soak sounds painful. "Little Spider... glad you could make it."

What do you do?

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    I'm here, close to Laika and Joey. I wouldn't come into this place for any other reason than being asked, and I wouldn't say no to Laika. Joey's family's here, but I figure I'm family to him now, too.

    Zeus was something. Hard but always making sure the people around her had what they needed. It's an honor to be here, I reckon, and I treat it like one.
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    There's nothin' and nobody I can take a swing at to keep Zeus goin'. I hate that. I'm seated nearby to Zeus, hair all down, even got a bandana over it to cover.

    We're going to ride her out, of course, to a nice spot to be put in the soil like any Arrow who finds her mark in time. After that I'm bein' cagey, keepin' it till the last minute. Yellowhouse is probably a good idea but if Cujo hates it I don't want to do it. Nobody should miss this one.

    If Cujo can't find her chill before Zeus breathes her last I think we're just coming back here and doing a big BBQ. Still got to go to Pikes for the meat but that can be a three person trip.
  • edited January 2016
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    She will only let me do so much to comfort her. She does not want her mind dulled now. The best I can do is soothing herbs in a bitter tea... something to ease the cough. I am beside her, on my knees. I carefully lift her to sip it. She grumbles. I cluck my tongue and hold her until she drinks it. It gives me an excuse.

    When did she get so light?

    I offered to try the gift upon her. I would risk that dark place again if it kept her with us, but she does not want it. She is right. Her machine's time is at an end.

    As I sat with her last night she asked to see the names, so I stripped to the waist and we looked at all the Arrows amongst the forest of ink on my body. We found them on my back, scapula, each arm, on my ribs, breasts and stomach... She touched them all with shaking fingers. Sometimes there was a story, sometimes a comment, sometimes just a noise. She asked where she was going to be.... and so I showed her the spot just below my left collarbone, not far from Nee's place on my breastbone.

    I will wear her name not because I've failed her, but because I love her, and her name belongs with her sisters.

    I set her down again, gently, and shift back to sit, brushing my loose hair out of my face. I nod hello to Vignette even as I reach just to the left and behind me to squeeze Dog's knee.
  • edited January 2016

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    When Tin Girl came to fetch me, she interrupted my very important business of staring at the broken golden ear, turning it over and over in my hand and replaying the last words Cujo said to me. I heard the approaching h-bike, though even my untrained ear knew it was not the orange rocket that Cujo rides. I expected--not expected, hoped--that the rider was there with a message from Cujo. So stupid. Cujo has never sent someone to deliver a message before. Why would she now? Still, that is what was foremost in my mind--until I saw the look on Tin Girl's face.

    We arrived in time. Cujo, far from welcoming me, leaves as I approach Zeus' bedside. It is like a kick in the gut, her leaving me. But something about that--that feeling of abandonment, here in the presence of Zeus...no, not Zeus--

    “Aunt Zooz,” I say, recognition coloring my voice. I kneel at her bedside and take her hand. Her brown, weathered skin contrasts sharply with my own milk-white hand.

    Had I realized before now that this woman was the kindly figure from my childhood, the ‘Aunt Zooz’ who gave me a stuffed spider when I was just a little girl, the ‘Aunt Zooz’ that my mother and I were going to visit that terrible night of the storm… There is so much I could have asked. Watching her slipping away like this is too cruel. It is not even the fact that she could have told me about my mother. It is that this woman knew her, remembered her, better than I do, and now those memories are leaving this world.

    How much did she have to do with the Arrows taking me in when I finally left Daddy? I have a lifetime of questions for her, but I find I cannot ask any. Maybe I do not want to burden her last breaths. Maybe there are too many questions to choose from. Maybe I am afraid she would tell me that what Daddy said was true–that Mama left me there with him, escaped to go live with Aunt Zooz without me. Whatever the reason, I ask nothing. I simply raise her hand to my lips and kiss it gently while hot tears course down my face.

  • Zeus
    "Shhh, little Spider. Don't cry." Zeus says, her voice just above a whisper after the last coughing fit. "I'm going to join my old sisters in the longest ride. I'll tell them all the badass stuff the Arrows did since they left. Killed a leviathan. Tamed the forest. Destroyed the Tax Patrol. Y'all fools are stuck here for a bit longer." She looks at you, Bon, then you, Dog, and you, August. Each look is a moment, a connection. She smiles weakly.

    "Spider, I needed to tell you about your momma. " she takes a ragged breath. "I can't hold it anymore, can't take it with me where I'm going. I... I kept it from you to protect Hope. But maybe Ace'll take care of her now. And all of you? You'll watch over her, right?" She looks to you again, Dog, Bon, and August.

    What do you do?
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    SeaTac,

    Laika slips an arm around your waist, pulls Joey close so he's standing with his back to you both, contact between you all.
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    When Aunt Zooz says she has something to tell me about Mamma, my heart clenches. For a while, I forget to breathe. I am not sure I want to know–but now, knowing that there is something, something else of Her, and that it is about to pass beyond reach, I cannot bear the thought of not knowing.

    She mentions protecting Hope, and at first, I think she means “hope” as in not despair. When I realize she means Hope and is asking us to protect her, I say, “Of course, I have wanted to find a way to help her, but–wait–what does Hope have to do with Mamma?”

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    I frown a little bit. Cujo is having more of the same drama. Well, it's not for me to get involved right now. Girl gets mad and has a hard time knowing when to stop.

    Bon squeezes my knee, Vignette takes Zeus' hand, and I pull Bon towards me a bit and keep my arms around her. This isn't easy for either of us. Zeus is the last of the first pack. Her memories are precious.

    I nod back to Zeus. "You let it out, I'll take care of the rest."

    I look at SeaTac, give him a private smile and a nod. Leviathan? Tax Patrol? Wouldn't have happened without his floodin' magical shootin'. Be interesting to see what else is in store with our friendship.

    I stay quiet and listen, take a smell of Bon's scalp.
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    I feel the closeness. Laika, me and Joey tight together for this moment. When Dog gives me a nod, I return it. Don't much care if my name's in the story when it gets told, really. Hoping that Joey's... Cadet's will be, though, in the next round. Some things I can teach, and he's got the beginnings of that. Some things, though... they're from inside, and he's got more there than I ever did. I squeeze an arm around Laika, squeeze my cadet's shoulder. And yes, a tear may fall for a fallen warrior. Libation, Sarge might have said. Pourin' one out for my homie... that was Charles. Haven't heard from him in a while.
  • edited January 2016
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    I am curious as to what Zeus will say but the answer to her petition is no mystery. "Of course" I answer Zeus quietly, immediately after Dog's affirmation. I move so my arm and hand cover one of Dog's that are now wrapped around, and draw comfort from sharing this grief. Who we are is about to change.

    My eyes drift up to Seatac huddled together with Laika and Joey. I can't help the soft smile that comes... it is something that just seems right, something that lends honor to Nee's decision all those years ago.

    Do you see this, my heart?
  • Zeus
    "A long time ago, when you was just a wee squirt," Zeus whispers. "Your momma, she reached out to Nana and me and the other Arrows, back then. She wanted to get you out, away from your Dad. He had... he knew about your power, wanted to use it to make things better, in his eyes. I was sent to fetch you and her. The Harbormaster... he was called Argyle then. He was helping her get out. I waited for you both, till dawn. But you never showed."

    She coughs hard, it lasts a minute or so, and her spittle comes out red. Bon, you're able to get her drinking some of the tea and it calms her. "I didn't see Argyle again until he had Hope under his spell. I didn't want Hope... to get hurt. But now, I gotta speak my truth. B-before I go on."
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    It is hard, allowing Aunt Zooz' words to carry me back to that time. Her account of things is overlaid on my own memories. The relief is almost overwhelming as she talks about Momma's plans for getting me out. I have carried this story with me all these years, so long that I had started to wonder if it was memory or my own desperate creation. When I confronted the Admiral, accused him of killing her, his reaction seemed so genuine. His saying that Momma left us... It shook my confidence in my memory--or in a four-year-old's perception of the events of that night.

    I have so many more questions, but when she starts coughing, I find I cannot trouble her further. I have gotten the truth most important to me. When the coughing fit finally passes, I smile and thank her, stroking her hand and then helping hold her her head up as Bon gets her to drink some tea.

  • edited January 2016
    Zeus
    Zeus take your hand again, Dog. Her face looks so sunken now, like the skin refuses to behave, gotten lazy in the last moments. "Nana. Was real proud of you. Said you did better than she ever hoped. The Arrows... they've never had it so good. And I'm... I'm proud of you, too. If that means anything to ya, girl."
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    I flinch a little, when Zeus mentions the name Argyle. She's told me a story or two with someone in it of that name before, but I didn't know that it was Harbormaster. Earlier, before everyone got here, she was asking me to tell her back one of them, the story of the Pale Child and the Music Box. Seemed to think it was important.

    Most of the Grindhouse crew are still salty with me after the forest affair, except Badger. So Badger rode along tonight. Just making herself useful and staying out of the way, so far. Maybe she'll sing a song with me later. And Kite, but Kite would be too brash for this somber of an event. I sorta think Badger might have her eye on the Arrows.

    Seeing Zeus so frail is hard. Makes me feel a chill in my bones that almost can't be helped. But at least looking at Bon and Dog puts a warm ember in my chest.
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    I'm scared to squeeze her hand, even. "Means a lot to me, Zeus. I always wanted to do Nana proud, too. Give back what I got from her and the early girls like you."

    Looking at August, I catch her eye if I can. Pat the space next to me. I'm glad she's here, too. I've heard scraps and pieces about the forest trip, and I don't like that place, so I'm still feelin' that buzz just from knowing the people who went in came out safe.

    "You stuck it out so long with us, Zeus. I don't think anyone's gonna be able to follow your act; 'Longest Arrow's Flight.' We're all proud'a you, too. I love you." My eyes are burnin'.
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    Zeus
    Zeus holds your eyes, Dog, and you feel her slipping away, see the life draining from her face. She breaks the contact to look around the room, "Love you all. My sis. Sisters." Her eyes close, and in moments, the wrinkles around her eyes slack, her body settles.

    Bon, you hear Zeus' last breath, it escapes in a very soft whisper. For a hint of a moment, you see Nee, a shining twin of you, appearing here in the room. She's focused on her task, which is lifting up Zeus. She uses the same technique you both learned at Medico, hand under neck and knees, and she moves through you and through Dog, and lifts a shimmering white spirit that is the essence of Zeus. There's a moment again as you see this, this thing you've never witnessed before when someone passes, and Nee, she looks at you.

    What do you do?

    SeaTac,

    Laika sniffs a couple times, wipes at her face. Joey is sobbing quietly, he reaches up to touch your hand on his shoulder.

    August,
    You catch Badger's eyes, she's watching Tin-Girl. Tin-Girl's eyes are wet and she's trying not to look at Zeus during the final moments, but she can't help but look at it, look at the old Arrow in her last moments. You know Badger well enough to know she's fighting the urge to go comfort Tin-Girl, but what would the Arrows think? Badger doesn't really know the Arrows outside of a rough and tumble gang, so she stays near you, watching.

    What do you do?
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    Not much more I can do for Joey and Laika than I am.

    Flashing back to riding into the Unit base, bodies scattered. Seeing red and not taking time for words or fanciness, chasing after the enemy not thinking about friends.

    In the back of my head, Red starts singing, low... Daze not far behind. One-Eye's growl, Sarge's tuneless warble, Charles's rich bass. The song they never had sung for them. The song I never sang for them. Finally too much, too much, and it's not just voices in my head anymore, It's my voice, and it's soft but out loud, and it's...

    "...lost, but now am found. Was blind, but now I see."
  • edited January 2016
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    I give Badger an encouraging nod. No Arrow thinks grief's anything but an honest feeling. I sit beside Dog, put a hand on her waist. When Zeus goes, it seems like she's looking right at me.

    SeaTac is singing a bit of that song Gates sang right before all the forest trouble, and it sends a chill down my back. It's beautiful, always will be, but I shake it off, real quick, because that sorta feeling don't belong in a room full of Zeus's memories.

    My throat and face seem to be full of phlegm and tears but I wipe my face on my sleeve and cough away the congestion as I stand up. I clear my throat, clench SeaTac's shoulder reassuringly.

    "Take me out tonight
    Where there's music and there's people
    Who are young and alive
    Driving in your car
    I never never want to go home
    Because I haven't got one anymore
    ..."

    It's always been one of Zeus's favorite's, but when the end comes around, well. Sometimes songs are a mantra and a prayer and a promise to yourself all at once:

    "Oh, there is a light and it never goes out
    There is a light and it never goes out
    There is a light and it never goes out
    There is a light and it never goes out
    There is a light and it never goes out
    There is a light and it never goes out
    There is a light and it never goes out
    There is a light and it never goes out
    There is a light and it never goes out
    ."

    I'm singing and hoping others sing with me, but when it winds down, for a moment I couldn't really tell if anyone else had. I'm just trying to squeeze every happy memory I have of Zeus into my small, shabby excuse for a skin and hold my breath so that my lungs push it all into my blood. Because if I don't, I'll just cry until morning and I'm not ready to do that yet.
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    "Nee?" I breathe.

    I see her, watch her take Zeus... take her essence. Sure I've seen visions of Nee, but I thought they were just that... visions. Not... not her exactly. I hear Dog sniff, she's tearing up, like I am, and I squeeze her hand against my heart.

    I had never thought... my belief was that our essence rejoined the world after our death, no longer separate, no longer the individual expression of it in life. Was it simply untrue or was Nee something special?

    Impossible to know.

    Impossible.

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    I could hardly be more sad or more grateful. It fills me up like the kind of clean ocean Zeus used to brag about. It mixes with the ways I miss Nana. It rains down my face in tears. I press Bon's hand again.

    Then I stand up, still weak in one leg, and add my voice to August's singing. I can see why this song was one of Zeus's favorites.

    It's got everything, right? Driving, love, the company of young people, not dying alone, and the hope that never fades. Something we all need.
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    I stumble up to my feet and join the song. Singing together... our hearts joining just like our voices. It's my favorite expression of family... and now 'tis subtly different without Zeus' rough voice. But I can still hear her. I can still hear them all.
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    Vignette,

    As you hear the song lifted up by many voices, and see the shimmering form of something in the room taking Zeus away, you feel a hand slip into yours. It's Cujo. She doesn't sign or say anything, just squeezes, looking at Zeus' corpse and weeping openly. Beside you.

    What do you do?
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    I am startled by the shimmering form, but curious too. I start to reach out with my mind towards this other when Cujo takes my hand. My concentration wavers, and the form is gone. had it been someone else, I might have been angry, but Cujo…in tears. I squeeze her hand in return and reach up to wipe away one of her tears. My own face is a mess–black streaks running from my eyes across my pale skin–but I am unused to seeing Cujo cry. I realize that, not only am I unused to it, I would do quite a lot to prevent it. I am not sure if she’s here to give or receive comfort. She is still a mystery to me. She left me, and that is sort of a thing with me...which we should maybe talk about. For now, though, she is here, and that is enough.

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