Silica
I shrug like whatever, "sure, ok... chef's surprise... uh... yeah I can pay up too. No big thing..." isn't this shit expensive? That reminds me, I gotta talk to Haddie about the fuckin' ice... totally forgot about it...
"Yeah why the fuck …
Silica
Ok so I look around enough to make myself nervous. Feels like everyone's lookin' at me... of course they're not right? But it feels like.
I try and keep my eyes on our table, and that means on Hadden, who sits across from me. Kaykay starts …
Silica
Hadden gives us his little lecture, and I look at Kaykay and say softly, "it's always weird with us, Haddie." I smile and lean my head on a hand, lookin' at whoever's whoever around the place.
Hadden seems to be caught up in some kind of th…
Silica
I walk tentatively into the place, got my incognito gear on... well, at least the hoodie pulled up and those new pants and glasses... I feel ridiculous and it's way hot in there but I'll deal.
I slide in after Kaykay in the seat Hadden poli…
Silica
Yeah I don't get to this kinda rich town place that much. When was I here? Couple, three years ago this guy I was fuckin' brought me here... didn't know better back then, right? Well he made me wait out back in the snow while he did his busi…
Silica
Startles the fuck outta me, I was dreamin' about somethin' good too. But I blink a bunch of times and take a deep breath... stretch my feet out against the floor and push myself up to more of a sit.
"Uhhh... yeah, ok..." I say in that voice…
Silica
"Pfft.." I glance at him, arms crossed and quietly complain, "yeah didn't seem that way a second ago..." moody? Yeah guess so.
But I lean my head back against the top of the seat and take a deep breath, noting with a little motion of the ey…
Silica
That look, fuck... Hadden sees this little angry look on my face for a second and I'm just about to get up and probably say someting stupid that I'll regret when Kaykay chimes in from the back. I slump back down into my seat, one foot on the…
Silica
I slide the window open and look back at her, "hey Kaykay don't worry, I'll fuckin switch up wit'cha.... when it starts getting' cold .."
I'm just playin really, gotta have some fun right?
I won't make her stay out there too long.
Silica
Hadden starts instrucifyin' which is cool. Being what he is... I hop up on the truck bed and make sure everything's tied down good with Kaykay. Can't help but think that this looks fucking uncomfortable back here...
Kaykay's walking 'round …
Silica
I hum along with Kaykay and add a little "pah-pah" line to the song as we get into it. I lean on her as Hadden drops his pants, make a couple of wolf howls at him, "woooo! Move it baby!"
He's a fine fuckin' man ain't he? I press into Kaykay…
Silica
So were hanging out outside the truck right?
I snicker through a little evil grin and bump Kaykay playfully with my hip. Hey, job's done, we did all right... couple hours working makes those painful moments seem less painful. Whatever pain …
Silica
So we've got the stuff hauled back out to the truck, right?
I try to act natural... like things are just things. Keep lookin' at Hadden though, all fuckin' day... I still see that weight on him... and he keeps lookin' at my ass when he thin…
Silica
Tryin' to keep outta trouble here, right? I mean, when it's just my ass on the line I push it... usually too far. But I feel for Kaykay... and yes, Hadden... want to impress Hadden. So just this once... keepin my litttle ass outta trouble to…
Silica
Yeah I can't move... frozen still by that look, the sound of his voice... I stand and listen, mouth just slightly open and breathing deep. I don't look away. He gets closer, almost reaching out to touch me, I can see that... he... he doesn't…
Silica
Yeah, I'm watching him watching me... and he's lookin' at my lips... a little shiver, last guy I fucked is two weeks dead... didn't even like him. Great... Hadden's way better than that fucker... Why's this so hard?
Allright... what the fuc…
Silica
A little breath of a laugh escapes as my eyes flicker up to him and down again... takes me a bit to answer, "Hadden... I... uh... " I break into a soft smile and I shake my head ever so slightly, "I... think that's about as close as we're go…
Silica
We walk along in silence. He keeps lookin' at me, that way he keeps glancing over when he thinks I'm not watching... he does want me... want me? Want to fuck me? Probably... wonder if there's more...
Get real Silica, no fucking way right?
…
Silica
Corner of my eye, yeah... but I do watch him. Somethin' going on in that head... he's been changin' up on me lately. I thought I was some kind to him... but then... I mean he saved my ass from.... and then he was with K2? I don't fuckin' get…
Silica
This is shit. I mean... this is... feels like... like I never wanted anyone to know. Am I ashamed of her? Of what happened? Didn't bother me so much then but it does now. I know Hadden doesn't mean it but it fuckin' hurts me. No doubt it sho…
Silica
He says that part, "yall getting together" and I suddenly snap, looking at him, "we're not together!" I say it with more anger than even I'd expect... why does it make me angry? I hold the look for just a second... fuck... then just as quick…
Silica
We walk out to the yard, I'm trying to keep Kaykay in a corner of my eye without it lookin like I give a shit... not too close but keep in the 'hood.
After a short while I exhale a long breath and say without stopping, "you ok with... what …
Silica
Yeah I grab a prybar from the truck and hoist it over a shoulder as he talks. He finishes and I stop, one hand on the side of the truck looking sidelong at him. He gives me the fuckin' weirdest vibe... like... does he want to fuck me? I don'…
Silica
Yeah I watch her, too... gonna try and keep close enough to be around... in case.
Then Hadden startles me suddenly talkin' out of nowhere.... I look at him, little sly smile on my face as I reach into the truck bed to grab my pack, hood dow…
Silica
I can't help it, I slap my knee and laugh. "We fuckin' showed him, Kaykay!"
But time and change of scenery sombers us up... I'd feel better if she would go inside, actually. If I see her shiverin' or something I insist, but I won't bring it…