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[Snowpocalypse] Road Trip (H 4.1, S 4.1)
Hadden and Silica:
It's been a couple weeks since Lemma showed the sub to the group. You've all been careful, slowly building up some security, moving supplies down when you can, which has meant lots of late night work, working in two or three person teams. The place is coming along, but you know it's a matter of time before the Underlakers come knocking.
Both of you are traveling on a scavenging run. K2 is along, isn't she? Who did she talk into that? You're all in the minitruck, of course. Silica, are you in the cab or in the back?
By the way, why don't you give me a roll+Sharp to see how that Skeg sled's working. On a 7-9, choose one of the below options to be true. On a 10+, neither are true.
* the sled looks fine, but is actually in poor condition: at just the wrong moment, it will fail on you
* the sled works okay, but it is a dead giveaway, soooo obviously Wonky's and word on the street is that you took it as a trophy
On a miss... you swear you put the sled RIGHT HERE!!!!
Silica, you're low on ice, you need a re-supply. You know it's a bad idea to go alone out there, right? Where is "there" anyways? In Chi-Town? Across the lake? Where?
Hadden, why don't you give us a Moonlighting roll?
It's been a couple weeks since Lemma showed the sub to the group. You've all been careful, slowly building up some security, moving supplies down when you can, which has meant lots of late night work, working in two or three person teams. The place is coming along, but you know it's a matter of time before the Underlakers come knocking.
Both of you are traveling on a scavenging run. K2 is along, isn't she? Who did she talk into that? You're all in the minitruck, of course. Silica, are you in the cab or in the back?
By the way, why don't you give me a roll+Sharp to see how that Skeg sled's working. On a 7-9, choose one of the below options to be true. On a 10+, neither are true.
* the sled looks fine, but is actually in poor condition: at just the wrong moment, it will fail on you
* the sled works okay, but it is a dead giveaway, soooo obviously Wonky's and word on the street is that you took it as a trophy
On a miss... you swear you put the sled RIGHT HERE!!!!
Silica, you're low on ice, you need a re-supply. You know it's a bad idea to go alone out there, right? Where is "there" anyways? In Chi-Town? Across the lake? Where?
Hadden, why don't you give us a Moonlighting roll?
Comments
When I went to pick up Handplant, K2 answered the door. She said that Handplant and Hitec were both "busy" and did air quotes. So I figure they're having mad passionate make-up sex. But it's cool, K2 needs to clock some drive time. Seems like neither of them want me and Silica to be alone together. And it's probably better that K2 and I aren't alone together, because we probably would be "busy" also and get no work work done. I make sure to leave two jingle for pay, since I already gave Oakley his two and CTO his one.
I figure once there's real security and room, I can make a play for Tindy. Shit, maybe I'll just buy 'em. Might be something to try since Merrell's got no Arbor and no Smith... be nice if he were off balance for once.
I've been thinking about food for the new place (Lemmatown? Lemmaburg? The Dacha? Can't remember the name of the underwater boat right yet.) and I need to send word to Stalefish and Evol and the growers if anyone'd be up for a new gig.
Speaking of moonlighting, I gotta bring that chocolate cake to Nini.
- Fucking (2-barter/entangled)
- Deliveries (1-barter/bushwacked)
- Scavenging (1-barter/impoverished)
- Obligation gig: Keeping K2 happy (you keep her happy / you fucking blow it)
- Obligation gig: Keeping Tindy happy (you keep her happy / you fucking blow it)
(Rolled: 2d6+3. Rolls: 5, 3. Total: 11)Let's get some "texture" on those gigs, 'cause I'm curious.
Who is Hadden fucking for jingle? Who the hell does he charge for it anyways?
Who is paying for deliveries right now? Is that Oakley's thing or Handplant's?
The scavenging is you and Silica and K2, right?
How is Hadden trying to keep K2 happy? Bringing her out to work with you?
How are you keeping Tindy happy, maybe sending her notes or a cut of extra food or something?
In case the original post isn't clear, I'd love it if you'd tell me about your choice ice supplier. Where are they? How does it all work? How the heck did you get such a sweet set up? I mean... you're not so good with, you know, people and all.
Yeah I'm ridin' in back part-time. Like to stand up in the bed and look over top of the cab. Hadden prolly checkin out my middle in the rear-view but whatever... you know when we're out of Chi-town I dress down and get comfortable... just wearing that ridiculous warm-blooded getup when we're 'round where they know me.
Things are weird with Kaykay... it's not like before, you know we're not always fighting, but with Hadden around and out of her place it's awkward. Really... so far we haven't really talked about what happened.
I'm down to the ice in my pocket... which has me concerned. Really fuckin' concerned. I'm jumpy... takin' it less often now cause I gotta make it last. I havent told Hadden yet but I gotta get out to Wildcat and T-dog at their lab on the South shore... best ice 'round Chi-town and they only sell to a few individuals. (lucky me)
When I ran from home I got into all kinds of bad shit... ended up meetin' T-dog at a little house party. He took a liking to me, more or less bought me... actually... from the fucker who I was stayin' with and I lived with him and his sister half a year. Guy parties hard and pays the price. But now I buy his ice... But you know it wasn't one big happy family there. The guy's a genius but on edge all the time and his little sister Wilidcat... she's always lookin at you like she's gonna beat face.
But yeah... I've been puttin' it off but I gotta visit. Buy all I can.
Here they are:
(Rolled: 2d6+2. Rolls: 6, 6. Total: 14)
xp(3)
Let's just say that Nini liked the cake. I have a few other janes and a john or two who like the attention and the company- lonelyhearts types or folk who just don't want emotional entanglement. Like Invert sees me sometimes. I've had a romp with those sk8r girls trying to one-up each other. Some real loner dude named Layback a couple times. And I did some trade with Stink Bug for condoms and such. All cats are grey in the dark, as the man says. But between you and me? It's not easy to be charming all the time. Sometimes you gotta mix it up.
Deliveries, those are easy. Always got people don't want to schlep their crap. Oakley don't mind driving, but he's fast on his feet, and quiet. So if it's something you can haul in a big backpack and want to move on the QT, then Oakley's your huckleberry. Pepper's in season, plus who don't like weed, so he's doing a good number from the Growers. I told him to not take shrimp work from Palmer until we sort out what the what with Dice. Too many people losing feet 'round here. Handplant's the better driver, so she helps out with bigger crap needs hauling. You can rig the minitruck as a winch, too, get heavier stuff out of buildings. And there's always fish out of Underlake need to go dirtside. You know, I prolly need to reach out to those lunatics by Morton's for some straight-up salt delivery... and Lemma's got something going on with the Dumpies, need to go shake some hands and scare up some work. Oh, and CTO's picking up the security work when it's needed. Not everything needs a detail, and sometimes having a big box under a tarp with an obviously armed guard makes for a bigger target.
The scavenging's kind of new, still feeling out working out deets. If the lake can hold a giant, pristine, Pre-Freeze underwater boat, and Fun Size can find a whole damn sealed pawn shop, there's gotta be something else worth finding... you just gotta look. Silica's got a good sense about where regular folk don't go and climbs like you wouldn't believe. Give her a prybar tool and space and go to town, girl. Doesn't have to be regular what you'd expect barter, even- straight-up building material is valuable for all the construction we're doing. We hauled a truckload of doors once, just regular doors hadn't been burned yet. Made a couple much-needed private rooms for folk. You bet Rossi and Jester got first choice.
K2? Hells yeah I spend time with her, take her out on work. Sometimes it's just sexytimes and sometimes it's just treating her like competent and getting her opinion. Once I took her out to go see the lava... It's almost romantically balmy out there and some chick has a little cooked food patio thing going and her kid runs something they call a coat check. You ever had a roast marshmallow? Ratroast's pretty good, too... but wait for the dog to be fresh, you hear? K2 really seems to enjoy learning how to drive... just like a typical teenage rebel in want of freedom. I wonder if she aims to move out, but that's a sweet flat. It was a little weird at first since I hadn't seen her in a while. Not real sure what's up with that. Maybe Handplant told her about Tindy. She's getting along better with Silica, though. No catfights. Maybe they worked things out.
And Tindy, man. What the fuck am I going to do? I can write her little notes, like saw so-and-so and such-and-such and here's a little pretty thing I found thought you would like. But it's hard, every word I feel guilt. That look in her eye, so... crushed. I don't even know if she's getting the notes. But yeh, I have someone slipping her extra food. She's eating for two, as the man says. I want to see her. I want to free her. I just want things the way it was. And I may be a dad in a couple months, so there's that.
Not yet... you know as we've been out here it's tempting to just zone out and not give a shit. But you know, I'm paying fucking attention to where we are, what's out here. Probably not making a big deal about it but I know my way around right? I see how close we're getting.
I crouch down and open the little window to the cab, sticking my head in there between Kaykay and Haddie. I look at Kaykay first, nervous around her for whatever reason. Then I tap Hadden on the side of the shoulder, "hey, uh... you mind if I make a little stop up here?" I tilt my head to the right, towards the pet shop.... oh, they call their place the pet shop. There's no pets there.
I probably seem a little nervous about it... and I add, "and uh... Haddie, if you got some fuckin' jingle comin' my way for all this... gonna wanna cash out."
It makes me smile a little to look in the rearview and see those blue blue eyes again. She pokes her head in, oblivious that she's close enough to steal a kiss if she wanted, unless she's just skittish about K2 being here. She asks for a pit stop, and I go, "Sure, what's the what?" Maybe she's got to take a crap and don't want to announce to the world. Probably not, though. I give her a questioning look like, everything mag?
Then she asks for barter.
I'm about sarcastically blurt out if she's gonna bail on me already, but I bite my tongue. Something else is up. "Like cash out cash out?" Stings an eentsy bit, maybe she hates the gig and everything is not mag.
"Huh?" what's with the freakout? Then I realize what it sounded like I was saying. I straighten up a little bit, forgetting where I am and bump the back of my head on the window frame, "fuckin'... ow... wait, no no... not bailin' on you Haddie, just gotta go give a holla at the pet shop..."
Yeah we're real close, not sure if even Hadden knows what the pet shop is. Place is pretty obscure.
"Just pull up and post on the spot, won't be long, ok?"
I'm not going to bail on you, now don't you bail on me.
Pet shop? For real real? "I heard you had an owl. Buyin' bird food? I thought owls ate rats?" I really don't know, just talking.
"You know I'll front you a jingle if you need, but don't take advantage." I give her a look like I gotta be fair, right? And K2 is right here. I give her a chance, ask plain, "Something up?"
Why is Silica always getting into makeout range, bit didn't want me to touch her shoulder? Such mixed signals, I don't even know.
He's lookin at me like that again. I glance at Kaykay and back, little nervous.
"Y..yeah, somethin' like that," bird food, seriously? "yeah that'd do the trick... all right? Just chill with my girl Kaykay a few."
I slip back so only my face is in the window and wait for him to pull up.
Again, she withdraws. Why does it surprise me? Well, K2 is right here. Maybe she'll tell me what the what. One day she'll say please and I'll know she was taken by fairies and replaced with a changeling.
I'll slip her an oddment, plink. "You're welcome." And I totally give her a look like thank you.
I stop the truck where she points. Anything 'round here?
"Uh huh. Bird food."
For a coupla seconds, I peer at Hadden in the mirror, like, a confused little face on my... uh... face. What's buggin' him? I totally don't get it.
As the truck slows I pat on the top of the cap a couple times before standing up and getting my shit together. Gotta pretty much bring everything I have of any value... need to stock up.
I hop down from the truck on Kaykay's side and rise up on my toes to stick my nose against the window a second and look at them... she still fuckin' him? I think so... I still don't know how the fuck I feel about Hadden. He probably catches me lookin' at him across Kaykay... but when he looks I drop back down outta sight and trot off into the snow.
All three of you (counting K2), see this woman up on the roof of the pet shop. She must've been sitting there quietly, but when Silica walks up, she stands up and calls down, "Yo, Sil. Been a while."
As soon as she's out the truck and the window is closed, I ask K2, "Yall seem to have kissed and made up, and believe me, I'm glad you aren't both at each other's throats with claws out- Do you know what's up with Silica?"
Deep breath.
I raise my hands where she can see them and walk slowly forward until I'm... just close enough but not too close.
"What up Wildcat? How's things in Dawg-town? Just comin' in for a little biz... we cool?"
You don't apprach the pet shop without asking first. I'm sure she's armed.
K2 looks at you for a moment before answering. She sort of runs her tongue along her teeth without opening her mouth, then clicks her tongue when she opens her mouth, and answers, "Well, yeah, Hadden. We kissed and made up. How's bout you two? I didn't know you were into her... but seeing you now, seems like you might be? Maybe that's putting her off?"
To Silica:
Wildcat stalks over to the edge of the roof, snow falls down when she pushes it along. She's dressed in that hoodie and a loose pair of silver and white pants, "If you've got jingle, we're cool. heh, cool. Ironic, yeah?" She bends at the knee slightly, then hops off the roof onto a snow drift, then hops up, only a little ways away from you. "Big bro's getting his knob polished right now, so no visitors. He'll be done soon. So tell me what the what."
I stay put while she comes to me, but I can relax a bit. I know her and she's cool right now. Probably heard the truck and got out here in case of trouble... well good for him... real good actually. Saves me some trouble.
"Just need whatever I can get, my usual shit," I pull my backpack off and show her what I'm trading. Two or three jingle worth of stuff I've picked up. Everything I got is up for trade, really... wish I had more.
Wildcat keeps moving up on you, getting close. She's one of those closer-talkers, no sense of personal space. "Oh? Not a social call, hunh? If you want some ice, then maybe you should go on in. T's missed his skinny little runt. I'm sure you might work up a discount or somesuch." She says it right up in your face, close enough to smell. She's just fucking with you, reminding you of who you were.
What do you do?
I try not to flinch when she gets in my face... fuck... yeah ok... I know. I wasn't shit when they bought me. Never feel right here will it? I still can't look her in the eye.
I say quietly, like you do when you know where you stand, "we dealin? I got fuckers waitin' on me..." I tilt my head towards the truck. Didn't want Haddie and Kaykay to see me like this. Around the pet store they know what I'm worth... what I was worth... yeah... ain't like that no more right?
I'd rather not go in if I can avoid it, "I got two easy, three of you wanna pick up my iron."
Wildcat walks around you, like she's checking you out, "Three? We got enough to hook you up for three... lemme see that iron, runt." She looks past you, up at the minitruck with Hadden and K2 inside. "Who are the pretty people? Brought some customers for a ride-along?"
K2 knows I like Silica, that I'm drawn to her... Maybe she forgot. Forgot on purpose, maybe.
"K2, I have no idea what goes on inside Silica's head. I thought she was into me." I shake my head and sigh, dismissing the thought.
Looks like Silica's talking to another icewalker. I look back to K2, the curves of her body, the lines of her face, the sparkle in her eyes. She really does make me smile, and I reach out to hold her hand. I spend a mo, just looking at her, sharing the quiet. I kind of instinctively glance up at the sky, if there's an aurora... I remember that time in bed with K2, on the edge of some unknown together. I'm drawn to her.
I bring her hand up, still holding, and give her fingers a quick kiss."You're a real catch, K2." I say softly.
I look down a little bashfully, and confess, "Remember when it was just us and the Soulja Boys? I was real worried they might get you- more than I was worried about saving my own ass, really."
Something makes me look back towards the truck... like... like I forgot something important. Something makes me slightly sad.
But yeah, Wildcat, "just out doin' some shit... happened by, you know? They ain't usin' ice." Wonder if she's hurting for customers, no way right? They've always been pretty exclusive.
"Let's do this."
K2's eyes are pulled to yours when you talk to her. You call her "a real catch", and she looks down, towards your chin, answering softly, "A catch... one you keep throwing back."
You ask her about the time with the Soulja Boys and she looks back up, nodding, "That was intense, for sure. But, you know, I can take care of myself, Hadden. It's okay, I'm not your damsel."
Off by Silica and this other ice-walker, you see what almost looks like a fight? But then it calms down and the new girl heads inside.
To Silica:
Wildcat stops looking at Hadden and K2, eyes back on you. When you tell her "let's do this", she shoves you, "Watch your fucking tongue, slave! You might be a customer right now, but I call the shots!"
Then, like she didn't even punch you, she leans back in your face, "Bro's prolly done. So if you're so hot to get yer ice, c'mon in." She turns and stalks towards the screen door of the per shop.
What do you do?
Shit... yeah like I said.. Wildcat...
I raise my hands apologetically, "ok, ok... no big thing, we cool... I'm goin'" I glance over my shoulder at the truck before reluctantly following her to the pet shop door. I steel myself for seeing him again... I mean, he's not the worst, right? But he ain't the best either, and it's been a long time.
I'm dressed in my shorts and that hoodie right now, it's a little on the warm side but it's good in the wind of the open truck bed. Keeps the frost from stinging.
This is gonna suck, mostly cause they're out there like that... because she is.. and Hadden, and... this feels so wrong. Shouldn't bother me so much but it does.
You follow Wildcat into the pet shop. The place has that same familiar smell of animal fur, and the chemicals they mix to make the ice. Against the back wall are the counters with tubs of the chems and goggles and all the cooking equipment.
Per usual, there are windows open here, it's cold, just the way you like it. Wildcat calls ahead, "Big bro, Sil's back for ice! Got three to drop."
T-Dog just finished "doing his bidness" on the ratty queen-sized mattress with some poor girl you recognize. Her name's Jib, and she's just gotten hooked on ice. Nothing's even turned for her, her eyes are still an odd green, her lips are still red. But here she is, paying for it with all she's got. She's lying there naked on her back, sweaty and looking at you.
This is T-Dog:
Her's Jib:
"Look what the cat dragged and all that," T-Dog says as he rises while buckling the belt on his pants. He cocks his head to the side, staring at you with that wild gaze of his. "Where you been, Sil?"
Am I throwing her back? Is that what she thinks? Am I?
Also softly, "'I could never keep you. You're outta my league, K2- I'm just a manwhore with big ideas and big enemies." I'm like the first step in a staircase... I think about Jester and Rossi, feel a little sad and happy at the same time. I've spent so long not loving, not feeling attachments... Now in barely above a whisper, "I don't get to love. You deserve love." Staring at the snow.
"I know you can take care of yourself, damsel. Because badass. Can't a man feel responsible?"
A sharp look at a Silica's not-fight, "Speaking of damsels in distress... Shoulda arranged a calvary signal."
K2's face screws up when you talk about not getting to love. "Hadden, that's BS, man. You just want to put me on some shelf and deny me and you." She crosses her arms and looks out at Silica, not you, "You're not responsible for making me happy AND not being with me at the same time, that's like two assholes pulling opposite ways on the same string. You're just gonna break it. It's just..." her voice cracks a little, dropping from the irritation to a kind of finality, "I know you aren't going to choose me, okay? You've got too much else, too many others to do, or whatever."
Then Silica entering the pet shop draws her attention. "We should, I dunno, get outside, keep an ear out. Just in case. Silly's the only ice junkie I like. You know?"
I walk into the place tentatively, watching where I step. Walkin' on eggshells, they say?
Can't help but stare at the girl Jib as I walk in, that's me, huh... couple, three years ago... sad thing is that the girls don't always turn out as good as I did though... I got my shit together and got the fuck out.
Then T-Dog speaks up he take my eyes off her, "hey, uh.. yeah... Hey Dawg, been up Westside, hangin' out in Chi-town propa," trying to sound important or something I guess, probably not doing a good job. That's Hadden's thing right, "spendin' time on the lake... gotta get my shit fixed up."
I nod hopefully, like... let's get this business done.
"Chi-Town propa?" T-Dog asks with interest, moving over to put a hand on the side of your neck, not choking, just controlling. "Eyes look good. Hell, even your skin is cool. You are all up innit, babe. You want three jingle worth, hunh?"
He lets go of your neck, stalks away to pick through a few platic tubs. Wildcat has been watching out the window. She says, "Hey! One o' those assholes in the truck is Hadden, Tee!"
T-Dog, who's on his knees, pulling out a few plastic baggies of ice from a tub, stands up and walks over, "Hadden's a mover and shaker, Sil. You one of his runners now?"
Yeah, I do't flinch as he touches my neck and checks me out, I expected that shit. Dog's gotta piss on what he thinks is his right? But he don't own me no more... I just happen to need his shit so what can I say? Gotta deal with it...
"Fuck, T-Dog, I'm the purest icewalker there is, I'm a little proud, yeah... nobody lives on ice like me... but I add cause I don't want to piss him off, "and yours is the best, fuckin' tops!"
Not doing Jib much good... but I don't say that shit.
They mention Hadden. Shit, I shoulda had him park outta sight. He asks if I'm a runner, "yeah no big thing, Hadden got me working fuckin' freelance. You know how it is... I'm doin' alright up there in the 'hood."
I'm talking big but I'm fucking nervous as hell here... glad I don't sweat.
Her tone stabs me in the heart. I start to speak a couple times. I don't even know what I could say, what I could do. Kind of wish it was easy to just choose K2 and just happily ever after. I lean my forehead on the steering wheel. I shut it down, I shut it all down, shunt it below the surface. Kind of turn off everything in front of my skull. Gonna lose it otherwise. I mean, what the fuck else to do? But I gotta say something. "I don't want to break your string." I feel sad. Tamp it down.
"Yeah. That Sims is an unreliable kissass." My voice is kind of on automatic. I get out of the truck and look around, my breath frosting on the wind.
T-Dog nods, like he sees something, "Tossin' around three jingle, must have somethin goin good, Sil." He jerks his head over to Jib, "Get yer scrawny ass dressed, Jib. When you actually fuck like you care, I'll hook you up. For now, the adults are talkin bidness, so GTFO."
Jib twitches a frown, scrambles up from the bed, starts picking up dingy clothes to put them on. Layers. Lots of them. Wildcat is still by the window. She's laughing at Jib, she doesn't give two shits about the girl, probably hates her because T-Dog kicked her out earlier.
What do you do while Jib is leaving? Anything?
To Hadden:
K2 gets outside the truck with you, standing not terribly close. She's watching Silica disappear, looking at the open window. "Hadden... somethin' I need to tell ya." K2 says, sort of level, maybe a tinge of sadness on it. "I fucked Silica."
She looks over at you, a look that's a bit defiant, a bit defeated. "She won't tell you, I'm sure. Everybody keeps it on the DL when they get with me, it seems. But... I thought you should know." She doesn't say sorry, she isn't joking.
What do you do?
Well I don't fuckin' stare at her but it's hard not to look. Seriously... like seeing myself. He treated me like shit, too... maybe she catches a little bit of that on my face as I look at her getting' shit on... maybe.
Dog's puttin' me on his side here, which hasn't happened too often... I know if I say shit then I'll be puttin' myself back down on her side. Look, the girl's got to make her own way right? None of my fuckin' business.
I don't walk around, cause you don't want to fuck somethin' up in here... but I look at the place. At the gear, the ice still... I've tried to understand how they do this. I wish I could... make my own, you know? It looks complicated... but parts of it make sense... evaporation, stirring that shit up till it turns shiny... I just don't know the details.
But I'm not really doing anything. Just being...
I hate relying on this fucker.
Jib leaves, heading out into the cold. Which you know she feels, like all the rest. T-Dog looks you up and down, "If you're a runner for Hadden, an he's outside. Maybe we should call him in here, work up some real bizness, yeah? Or can you talk, Sil? Hunh? Like, are you getting this shit for him to move? Or is it personal? I gotta know."
Whaaaaa...? Well, small wonder they're getting along better. I hope it was good. They both need a good fuck.
"Good," and I mean it, stepping one or two to her. "Sex can make mend bridges or friends closer. But it can also make things weird." That's a fucking understatement. The look I give her is open, happy-ish. concerned. "Like with us." I don't need an apology they fucked- I sure don't have an exclusive claim on her bed. I'm just let down they didn't tell me sooner. I would'nt've taken all three of us out for work without clearing the air. Now we're out of our element, by some weird "Pet Shop" where it looks like Silica has history.
"Wait, who else keeping it on the DL? I didn't exactly shout it from rooftops, but Squirrel knows we got together, your mom, my whole family probably figured it out." Plus whoever saw us at Palmer's, Oakley, the Soulja Boys...
K2 blinks, sort of like she misspoke, and looks away again, "No yeah, you're right. I guess you didn't hide it. But it's like I just joined a small crowd." She trails off. "It was stupid. I thought maybe I could be something, I dunno. Something more.... Mom was right."
I boop her on the nose. "You are, dizzy girl."
"Whadda'ya think she was right about?" I wonder if you had to choose between me or Silica...
K2 huffs a laugh when you boop her nose, one of those laughs that comes out even though you didn't want it to, like you were busy being sad and somebody does this goofy thing and a laugh bubbles up.
She looks back at you, scrunches up her eyes as she peers. "Mom said you were a great guy. Just, that you don't belong to nobody. That there's nothing I can do to change that."
Great.
"All personal, T-Dog," I raise a hand up palm-out. "Tools of my trade, right? I gotta keep chill..."
Do not want this to happen. Startin' to get annoyed inside. I just wanna buy my shit and get out... why T-Dawg always gotta be like this?
"Hadden play a good spit game, T-Dog... he a playa up in Chi-town, playin' the street game somethin' fierce right? But he ain't in the ice biz..."
Shit...
T-Dog looks over to Wildcat, then back to you, "But you are, right? What say I double you up? Give you six. You take three for personal, three to move. Sell it for whatever you want, bring three jingle back to me. Take a week." He puts three jingle worth in your hand, holds the rest for you to see.
I like hearing her laugh.
And Handplant thinks I'm a great guy? High praise indeed.
Thinking of Rossi on my shoulder, I ask, "Does anyone truly belong to anyone?" A little introspectively.
"What would you actually want, K2?"
Six ice packs? Fuck... never carried that much in my life. It's hard not to dance foot to foot a little as he makes the offer. So what, I sell it for him? Or Hadden, or whatever?
I don't think that long on it, "yeah... yeah ok, I can handle the chips," I nod to him, "let's do this thing."
Don't hafta bring Hadden in here or Kaykay... shit, i didn't even think of that, yeah, take it gtfo, Silica... it's all good.
K2 shrugs, helplessly, "I dunno, Hadden. Just. You know, like the books I read. Together, just you and me. Down in Underlake with your family. Kids, stuff.... it's stupid."
To Silica:
T-Dog nods, "Alright then, Sil. You are in the club, girl." He puts the other three packs in your hand with the ones you paid. "You got one week. Three back to us, you keep whatever extra you get for it. Bring back the jingle, I'll load you up with more. Mag?" He offers you a toothy, mad grin.
What do you do?
"Hope is never stupid, K2." I turn to look at her. "Underlake isn't the same home I grew up in these days."
And you know what? I think about it. She's pretty, she's funny, she's into me. Could I do it? Being domestic in the new underwater boat holding (L-town? Torp Town? Nukesville?) with K2 and Tindy both moms, Uncle Slash and Aunt Lashfight plus Grammaws Handplant, Hitec, and Mimsy, Uncles Oakley and Squirrel, Uncle Jester and Auntie Rossi, Auntie Lemma... What about Silica and K2? Where do they fit in in this little family tree?
Hope's no small thing.
"Mag..." whoa, shitload of ice. I stash it in my pack and hand over my goods... yeah including my pistol. I've held more pistols in my hands than I know what to do with but you know... I'm still holding onto the little revolver HP set me up with.
"Alright T-Dog I gotta burn," it's actually hard to contain a little bit of excitement. This was alright... maybe W-cat won't treat me like shit no more. This is good, right? Yeah... real good... probably a bad idea, huh? But whatev's, this works. I'm set up and I can get Haddie in on this shit.
Gonna get the fuck out, give Wildcat a nod, like... we're cool now right?
K2 stands nearer to you, like she sidles over to talk. She's still looking out at the pet shop, though, "Hitec says hope is a luxury. She's not big on hope. Mom isn't either, really. Mom's big on planning." She huffs out a breath, 'Hadden," she says as she looks over. "It is or it isn't. You can't string me along, okay? Know what I think? I think it isn't."
Out at the pet shop, you see the door open. Silica's coming out. K2 says, low, just for you, Hadden, "Just... maybe Silica could be? I dunno. What do you think?"
To Silica:
T-Dog nods, lets you head out. Wildcat gives you a nod back, but knowing her, you're just cool now, you know?
As you open the door, T-Dog says, "One week. No fucking around, kid."
What do you do?
Takes longer than I expect to get all her meanings. I never in a thousand days expected to be dumped by K2 for Silica. There's a whole host of cruel things I could say, and K2 deserves none of them. But there's an irony that my fucking what puts food on her table also gives the luxury of hope. I don't sound final, just sad. Maybe a little kicked in the teeth. "You know I never meant to string you along, never wanted to hurt you." You know, my mom took a real shine to K2. And yeah, I'm thinking what it would mean, to stop fucking others for jingle or for fun... But sounds to me like this conversation is too late and she's already decided. I feel sad, conflicted, like I broken a promise I never made... Maybe I should've made.
I nod at the opening door, at Silica. I wonder just how much girl talk centered around me. "You'd have to work at it, together. Our little icewalker doesn't wear her heart on her sleeve. But you're a catch and she's not stupid." I had got the feeling Silica never liked being touched. Maybe not by men. Maybe not by me. Gotta recalibrate my gaydar.
I sigh, lean against the minitruck, look up to the sky, looking at the aurora, watching it ripple and churn.
This gig gonna suck.
It's weird, even your acceptance of her sleeping with Silica seems to bother her, like she didn't expect that reaction, either. "Yeah. Neither of you are easy marks..." she grumbles.
Yeah he's got to throw that out there. Fuck you too.
"Kid."
I'm outside now and you know, maybe things are different, as he calls me Kid I turn and flash him a winning little tight-lipped smile and the finger, yeah, fuck you too, man.
Just my way of bein' friendly.
Well, he might just fuckin' kill me or something for it but I gotta be me... if not, headin' quickly up to the truck wearing kind of an omg expression.
I don't look exasperated at her grumble. "K2, what did you expect? I'm no hypocrite- I fuck for jingle. You wanted to pay me and I said no, it's not business. Now you tell me you fucked Silica. You want me to have a double standard with which of us fucks who? I want you to figure out what you want, what you like. " I look at her, searching her face.
T-Dog laughs. He just laughs. Maybe you're in the club or something, but he doesn't seem offended by "the finger". Wildcat snickers a hyena laugh, and says, "GTFO, skinny thing. Move the ice, get back here for more."
To Hadden:
K2's lips tighten, like maybe she doesn't even know. Before she answers, she looks up and sees Silica coming out of the pet shop. You see her, too. Silica looks fine, she's even grinning maybe?
I say low, "K2, it's cool- take your time, I'll be here. We can talk later, if you still want to."
I look back to Silica. She's grinning? Happy?
I hustle through the snow up to the Truck, they standing out there waitin' on me... you know... for some reason I'm a little bit dissappointed. Just standin there.
Last couple of steps, I run carrying my backpack in one hand like a kid on the way to school. Yeah, I'm smilin' a sly little smile like I got away with somethin' good. I look at them both, wonder what they've been talkin' about... kind of surprised they ain't in the truck fucking or something. She still likes him. Hey I'm fuckin' blind to people's feelings sometimes but even I can see that... obvious!
I hurry up to them and tilt my head to one side and nibble a lip, "we good... let's burn!"
K2 sees you grinning, and she matches it. She asks, "You okay, Silly? That was cray cray, that ice walker girl. That's... Wildcat, right? Mom warned me about her." She's moving over to you, like, coming up on you. She might be going for a hug, maybe?
What do you do?
Silica dances good- she's got lines to her running, too. I glance at K2, watch her watching her for a sec. Think about them fucking. K2 moves to intercept, I hang back.
I look back to Silica. Don't look like she's being chased, just running to run. "Gotcha bird food?" I make to get in the truck.
I avoid glancing over my shoulder to look. Wonder if she's watchin' my back now. Kaykay comin up to what, hug me...
"Yeah, W-cat... we got history, no big thing," I look at Hadden as I say this, nodding in answer to his question like... yeah I got it, but trying to be casual and confident about it.
I hold up a hand to kind of stop Kaykay, don't wanna do nothin' out here where they're watchin. Smile on my face though, "come on girl, let's roll, allright? Haddie... got some shit to talk about wit'cha."
I touch Kaykay on the shoulder and unless something's stopping me I walk over hop up into the truck bed with a foot on the rear wheel.
Can't get outta here sight fast enough.
K2 climbs up into the truckbed behind you, though. "I'm gonna ride back here!"
Nobody is coming out of the pet shop.
What do you do?
I look at the empty passenger seat, check the rearview. Crew secure in the minitruck bed? I motor.
Kaykay climbs up after me, which is... a little surprising... ok not that much.
I'm sitting, as usual, with my back against the cab. I kinda smile at her and scooch over a little on my butt to make room next to me.
I gotta smile though, yeah... this is good, "hey..." I say, unable to hide a little smile. Little bit embarrassed... little bit.
I slide closed the glass, not like a bitchy move, just like to give them privacy.
The window slides shut with a quiet snap... hmm. Makes me look.
K2 sits down, right beside you, smiles back. "Hey." Hadden starts up the truck and she reaches over to take your left hand in both of hers. Her gloves are off, her hands are cool to the touch. "I want you to know. I broke it off with Hadden." She says the words real neutral, like she's not excited about it, just relaying info. Then, more quickly, "He was okay with it. Not like he doesn't have like a dozen others, you know?"
Watching the snow fall and Chi-Town go by, listening to the engine sounds and the crunch of tires on ice. I glance in the rearview mirror, see the backs of their heads and hear the muffled sound of voices. I wish things were different.
She tells me the news... I crane my neck up, kinda looking at the window. I can just see the back of Hadden's head over the edge of the driver's seat.
"Oh yeah? Wow...Kaykay..." I sit with my legs pulled half way up as she holds my hand, my other hand wrapped kind of around my other knee. I struggle for something to say for a second... she didn't say she broke it off for me but that's how it feels huh?
I lower my face to look over at Kaykay sitting next to me. Not at her face but at our hands, at her. I try to laugh, a serious little reality hurts laugh, "yeah... yeah fuck him, right?"
I don't really believe it... Hadden is... he's something.
"Well, it wasn't exactly about him, Silly." K2 says, not meeting your eyes. She squeezes your hand, though.
What do you do?
Out across the ice, you see a couple dogs sleds zipping north past you, maybe a quarter mile. Further south, maybe a mile, are three flash snowmobiles - Skegs. Looks like the Skegs are chasing some of Stink Bug's guys. You could stick your nose in that, or ride along quick enough to see what the what.
What do you do?
I let out a breath, leaning forward so my head falls towards my chest. I squeeze her hand and shove my shoulder against her playfully. I feel really melancholy... like this is good but bad and happy and not.
The truck bounces along, our shoulders against each other. I turn my head to look at her face, "you gonna..." I was gonna ask if she's going to be ok. But I ain't good at this kind of shit. I just sit there lookin' at her for a second. Her lips... I still can't believe what happened.
After a while I exhale then raise my head to watch the road behind us,"this shit is weird, huh?"
You're looking back, and at K2, and around. You hear the Skeg's rides, too. "I wanna try ice with you, Silly. I want to know what you like about it. You got enough to spare? I've got a BM stamp, we could do it together. And... stuff."
K2 sees your attention is a little split, looks over, sees them, too. But then she's looking at you.
What do you do?
I really don't want to get in the middle of that — I'm not crewed out for a minor battle — but I do want to see who's doing what. I put the pedal down to make a little time.
I answer quickly, almost aggressively, "shit'll fuck you up, Kaykay... allright? You don't do this shit unless..." I look her in the eye for a good long moment, "unless you ain't got nothin' else... all right?"
Makes me think of Jib, "did'ja see that bitch come outta the pet shop before me? She gonna keep crawling back to 'em to be fucked for her ice... they string her out until the chills come and come again... eventually never fuckin' stop... probably tellin' the fuckers she calls friends how awesome it is... 'course she don't tell em straight up. Feel like you're dyin' all the time... hurts like a motherfucker, Kaykay..." I pull my hand away, it's starting to shake thinking of it. I make a tight fist and slap it against my thigh a couple times, "you don't want that shit."
Makes me feel shitty, I stand up and face front so I'm standing next to her. My hands stretched out across the top of the bouncing cab of the truck. I lean my cheek against the cold metal... she can fuck herself up but that ain't gonna be on me.
K2 stands up with you, "Why are you still doing it then? C'mon, I'm as tough as you, Silly. If you can do it, then I wanna do it, too." She looks defiant, like she's ready to go blow for blow on this.
The truck picks up a bit of speed, looks like Hadden is keeping pace with those dog sleds that went by a bit ago, and the Skegs, who are coming up quick.
What do you do?
I been watching out of my corners... yeah we're gettin' a little close.
"That ain't the... fuckin'.... aw come on Kaykay..." Kaykay ain't as tough as me... fuck no. I point out the sleds out there to her in case she missed them. "Head's up... none of these fuckers are friends of mine..."
I slide down into the truck bed on my knees and open the window to Hadden to shout over the road noise, "the fuck, Hadden? This ain't your bullshit!" I'm lookin' at him in the mirror.
I gotta hold on, it is getting bumpy, "get your silly ass inside, will ya girl?" If she's going on in I get outta the way. Either way I'm pulling my hood up and keeping it low.
K2 is still sitting in the truck bed. When you look back down at her, she has a revolver in her hand, looks shiny, like this:
She looks up, "I'm not going inside. I want to be out here with you, Silly!"
I bark back, no fucking arguing: "Both of yall sit down and up the fuck shut. What the what?"
Well what a shiny fuckin' gun... "fuck, Kaykay..." I get my hand around my little revoler but I ain't showin it off, keep it outta sight in the pocket of the hoodie.
Hadden shouts at us and yeah, I pull the hood down low and slouch way down in the truck bed.
Fuck... fine.
I'm getting a little annoyed, a little rattled. I look for a place to pull off casually and leave the sleds and the dogsleds to their thing. I don't want to waste fuel, gotta get some scavenge work while there's daylight still. Probably not Stink Bug or Dice in person out there anyway.
Sure, you can slow down the truck. These guys don't see you as a threat, and no, you don't see Sting Bug or Dice. You don't recognize them, at least.
To Both:
The dog sleds continue racing across the ice. The three Skegs zip past. They'll catch the dog sleds pretty soon. Doesn't seem like Hadden wants to stick around for it, not a bad idea.
Silica, K2 looks at you, "Silly, nothing to worry about. So... if I skip doing the ice thing, can we do the rest tonight?"
My heart's beating fast you know, the sleds and shit out there... hand on my weapon like I might need it... damn girl... the excitement must be gettin' to her too.
Don't give a shit, I keep my head down, peer up through the glass. Hadden's too quiet... doesn't seem right. He's always runnin' his mouth. Don't understand half what he's sayin' but it's good to hear him goin' on.
Lot of thoughts in my head as she asks... takes me a second to answer, "uhh, let's see where we crashin' tonight huh?"
How's she so fuckin' calm?
You take a look at K2 and she's far from calm. Her nostrils are flaring, eyes wide, breathing coming quick. She's scared as hell with rival gangs riding past, stuck in the open in the back of this little truck.
But you think maybe she likes it. That she's been cooped up for so long that this is thrilling to her. She looks at you and declares, "Wherever it is, I'm crashin with you, Silly."
To Hadden:
The girls are crouched down, out of sight mostly. The gangers head off on the lake, doing whatever they do. You continue on, a different direction then? Oakley is handing deliveries. Where are you heading to scavenge?
I feel it too, the adrenaline... but it ain't the kind I like. Maybe I'm gettin' too caught up thinkin' of dying. I seen a lot of death up close these days... brutal shit I really ain't been intimate with... that much.
"Sure as shit don't wanna be alone tonight..." I look at her as I say it, then away... or really down towards our feet in the bed of the truck.
The fuck is Hadden so quiet?
I bang on the glass a couple times with the back of my hand, crack-crack and call out, "we good Haddie?"
I heard there's a trainyard down the Stevenson that could use some scavenging. It's early enough in the day we could make it there, spend a couple hours, then get back to our side of town before losing daylight.
When Silica asks, I think about the three of us working together, mutter "I sure hope so," then slide the glass open and call back, a little irritated but not mad, "You tell me, what the shazbot going on back there?"
Hey he's talkin... allright.
I let out a small held breath, the excitement of what almost turned into something passed. I pat Kaykay on the thigh a couple times then turn around to look in the window, up on my knees.
I fold my arms across the windowsill, "nothin' going on Haddie..." I tilt my head to one side and look at his eyes in the rear-view, "The fuck was that? Skegs running hard out there... you got biz with'em?"
Once again, her little face in my mirror, those blue blue eyes. Like she's always at a remove and indirect. I pull my gaze away. "Not biz biz, Dice is on my uh-uh list because of the choppy on Jester. But I told Palmer I'd talk to Dice about their deal- just to see what the what. Palmer tried to use Stink Bug to move those fatass yum shrimp he's got, Dice wasn't happy and is triple-fucking him on it. Not a gig gig, more of a look-see."
I look back at her in the mirror. "If it was Stink Bug hisself out there getting zilched by the Skegs, that'd be a thing for you ought to know." If the people who want you dead get dead, then they don't want you dead. I try to figure out if she gets it.
Fuck, she's damn casual about what's going on. K2 gotta have told her that she told me about them. Maybe she don't care.
Eyes back on the road. "You got biz with the Skegs?"
He mentions Jester and I lift up my head a second like he reminded me of something, open my mouth like... like almost sayin' something and then setting my chin back down on the windowsill.
Stink bug... pisses me off. I'm the last girl those fuckers should be after, I kinda narrow my eyes at the mention. And he asks about the Skegs, "could the the rest of forever without seein' another fuckin' skeggie, man..."
He's lookin' at me like that again. "I gotta see Jesta' sometime..." I say quietly, solemn almost.
Watchin' him in the mirror. Guess he just got dumped, huh? I glance down at Kaykay at my hip, lower one hand and set it on her head kind of silly-like... then back. A couple seconds pass... the atmosphere seems different.
And another breath passes... "lot of shit happened huh?" I look into his eyes, just look for a good long moment.
I mean Kaykay.
Evidently she got history with the Skegs. I try to think about 'em all, but I can't quite focus. I'm sure I'm forgetting some. Didn't Silica ride with Wonky once, when she got shot? "You wanna talk about it? Or if'n you don't, anything I need to know regardless?" My look is half-personal, half-biz. If I'm her operator and she can't do Skeg gigs, that's a thing I need to fucking know, yeah?
I catch a hint of something there, too- maybe she's got Rossi envy? "Jester's a hoot anna holla. You heard him play?" My enthusiasm is tamped down a little when I remember his last concert's encore.
I look back at her, givin' me the eyes in the mirror. I kind of quirk my lips a little half-sad grin of what could be. "Things change." And I give her a look like, you'll have to tell me about it sometime. Unless she's fucking with me? Like, you can't have none of this back here, bitch? Doesn't seem like it. She'd be more mouthy.
While you're leaning up against the truck window, you feel a hand on your ass. K2's of course. She reaches up to rub your lower back, just being touchy, reminding you she's here. She's looking up at you, grinning while she's sort of sitting down in the truck bed away from the chill of the wind.
There's a lot I gotta talk about... but you know, I don't get to talkin' about my shit much... mostly nobody gives a shit, right? Kaykay starts on touchin' down there, well if that isn't disctracting. Hadden probably sees a tiny little smile or somethin' on my face.
He asks about Jester, "oh yeah, everyone heard Jesta' round Chi town, right? He's a holla fo'sure..." hard not to smile. Between Kaykay feelin up my back and and Hadden makin' my front end think of mostly pleasant shit.
I stare at him in the mirror, thinkin' if I could do that thing again... but... no... fuck I don't know what might happen. We'll get a chance.
"Sure do..." change, that is. I glance down at Kaykay again with big wtf are you doing eyes. But good natured. She's makin' me squirm a little even though I wish she weren't.
"You know... Hadden," I lean a little further into the window, riding up on my feet a little so my head's in there next to Hadden's shoulder. I whisper, "yeah... yeah we got shit to talk about..." and a little tight-lipped nod just to confirm that I'm talkin' in all fucking seriousness.
Then I lower back down to the window and try not to squirm as Kaykay plays with my ass.
When you look down at K2, she gives an impish grin. It's obvious she wants some attention, since she got in the truck bed to be with you. But she's sort of hiding it from Hadden, like she doesn't want to throw it in his face. She's put her revolver away, of course, so she's just rubbing your lower back, hoping you'll slip down with her soon. You can feel that, Silica. Through that odd connection. Like unspoken words you still hear.
She's giving me the eyes again. Doing something with K2 while talking to me. What the actual fuck? It's still a fresh sore and they're flaunting. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, but seriously? I sigh and rub at my temples like my eyes hurt.
Then she whispers... I still like feeling her breath in my ear. She can tell, probably I let slip a little smile and relax a little of the tension in my shoulders.
She wants to talk? Not in front of K2? I gotta wonder what's up with that. I look back at her and nod, like whenever you're ready. When she next squirms, I share a wicked little smile in the mirror. "We got like 20 minutes down Stevenson. Don't spill the extra fuel, okay?" Giving them permission, but I gotta look the other way right now.
"What?" the fuck is he talking a... oh shit does he mean... come on he doesn't... yeah?
Embarrased I suddenly blurt out without thinking, "hey fuck you, Hadden! Why don't you get your skinny ass back here too then?" But I'm all nervous smiles and even a slightly embarrased nervous laughter.
Shit why'd I say sometin' stupid like that...
I reach in without thinking and kind of smack him on the upper arm playfully. Come on, seriously? She told you?
I turn to look at Kaykay again, another wtf look. I mouth the words near-silently to her, "you fuckin' told him?"
K2 nods, not proud, or showing off. Just "Yeah. Needed to be done."
I give her a look, open my mouth, and almost answer. She don't want to share and I don't think you're interested.
But out loud, I say, "Skinny? Girl, my ass is not skinny. I'm a fine-ass hunka man here." and laugh like it's nothing. When she smacks me, I play back. "Rough stuff costs extra!" Going a little campy funny as a diversion tactic.
"Pffft," I laugh through my lips, "yeah I got more fuckin' meat on my bones'n you do Haddie." I grin a big toothy grin before remembering I don't do toothy grins. My mouth slowly closes as I keep lookin' at his eyes in the mirror.
I feel trapped, a flutter of panicky emotion comes up inside me... gotta kill it... don't feel that way Silica.
I look down at Kaykay, though I'm speaking loudly and really to him, "fuck, Kaykay, I think I'm gona hafta kick ok'Hadden's ass to prove my point." I reach up and slap the metal of the cab right above the window a couple times.
Yeah just keep laughin. That works... I'll take it.