Silica
Sure, use up whatever... Haddie's worth it right?
I don't know what to say to him really as I sit back down, needle in hand. "Ok... let's do this."
"This would be easier if you'd fuckin' sleep you know?" I think to myself. He's all but sle…
Silica
Hadden's losin' it. I been talking to him like he's all here but... yeah, he's gone. I smile a little thin smile, sitting next to him. For a little bit I run my hand gently along his cheek, tracing my fingers along his skin. For some reason …
Silica
Yeah, maybe I had the presence of mind to grab some basics from the clinic on our way out? We didn't really see all that go down.
I get my stuff together, clean water, some salt if i got it, thread, needle. "You good, Haddie? Need a drink i…
Silica
I bite my lip with some amount of worry, but at least it gives me something I can do. Get my mind off the shit going on outside that door.
I rub his chest a little bit, just moving my fingers.
"Haddie I gotta sew ya the fuck up," I look a…
Silica
He almost gets me to laugh, "still kickin huh?"
But I bite my lip and concentrate on what I'm doing. Get his shirt off, or down, or whatever, I run a cool hand along Hadden's chest, pushing the fabric carefully out of the way... I stop ther…
Silica
As she leaves my gaze falls down at her feet, then the floor as she closes the door. Yeah, yeah I know... "she's getting hooked on that shit ice..." I say through a breath, shaking my head just a little.
I look at Hadden's face. First time…
Silica
I slowly let a breath out and slide a few inches down with my back against the door. What a fuckin' day... aint got the energy.
As Kaykay goes on about how good this shit is (who am I to argue, ain't like I haven't done anything worse) I c…
Silica
Tense as shit... ok, Hadden got this.
Blizz is bein' all bitchy and I shoot her the finger I been saving for her as I turn to go, wiggle it a little bit for effect. "This place sucks..." I mutter to myself, shakin' my head... coulda ended u…
Silica
Fuck.
My face is still wearing an amused expression, but I ain't feeling it. Keep it cool, Silica, let Hadden handle this shit.
I raise a hand like you do when you wanna calm somethin' down, timidly, not really having anything to do with…
Silica
What the fuck am I doing? I'm kinda stalking around the place watching Hadden like he needs watching. Hope he hasn't noticed.
The girls spit shit at me, whatever... doesn't bother me that much right? I'm just about to give Blizz the bird wh…
Silica
Sucks seeing Hadden a couple steps down from his usual self. He's still him but kinda... tired.
As we walk in I'm kinda close to him, but there's eyes here and some of them think I'm shit, for sure... remind myself to keep my distance. We …
Silica
Roxy's girls don't treat me good, of course. But not worse than most. It's a place I been dragged a couple times to fuck, not so long ago when I wasn't quite so on top of things. Probably got me a reputation... they see guys treat me like sh…
Silica
Hard to look at him, but it feels more happy than sad, somehow. He's gettin' to me, or maybe it's all the shit we just suffered through. I nod, my eyes wet... I gotta say somethin' or I'm gonna bawl.
"You uh..." I look out at the lake, "got…
Silica
Without thinking I reach out and gently take his hand in mine.
"I... your mom wanted me to tell you," I look into his eyes... that feels weird so I look away but that feels weird too so I look at him again. "Mel... Melancholy... she said sh…
Silica
"Your fuckin' wife?" I almost shout back, loud enough for Rosie is Hadden to hear, for sure. If she turns her head she sees me grinning at her. I turn back to Jester, "no fuckin' way..." But it's good, right? I should say something... uh... …
Silica
Hadden and Rosie talking like that, I feel like shit. Beat up, bloody with more than my own. Ain't slept... Hadden mentions that he didn't know... I shoulda fuckin' known. I knew. Shoulda said something... I almost speak up but I just fucked…
Silica
I look out over the ice as she talks, nodding a bit. But then she mentions the pier and I look at her. It's obvious that's a reminder of my own problems.
I raise my hands, "I ain't goin' to the fuckin' pier..." a glance at Hadden, who isn't…
Silica
Rossi saved our asses... she came.
It comes time to part ways and find our sleds. I stop to look at my sister. A little nod. Like we're cool. I hope so.
"He's gonna be ok," I walk over to her, saying. "You got a place to be? I'll lay a tr…
Silica
I retreat to the side of the street, get us some cover from sight and fuckin' bullets. I turn back and see the clinic in the distance. I wish we'd set the fuckin' place on fire. Place makes me sick, I look away.
But reaching the corner I he…
Silica
"Rosie, let's hit the wall... give 'em something' to think about and let's burn!" I loudly hiss, trying not to be heard by the 'enemy' out there. If she looks at me I gesture with a thumb towards one of the dark streets back past the clinic.…
Silica
My hands still sting from the recoil of that shotgun. I stick near Hadden, feeling somehow responsible for him. Like he's caught up in my shit, his blood on my hands.
The image of father nightmarishly dances in my head, berating me, a scalp…
Silica
I'm looking at Hadden, trying not to think of what's on the cold floor behind me. He turns to look and I touch the side of his face, turning him back to mine.
"Let's get the fuck out," I nod, face close to his like I'll just lose it if I lo…
Silica
Rosie leaves me with Hadden, I lean on the table, the cool metal feels warm to my touch. I gently touch his neck... a glance at Rosie and nod. She did this.
"We got wheels," I reply to my sister. "Come on let's get the fuck out." All of us.…
Silica
The gun throws itself over my head out of my blood-slick hands. A painful curse and a yelp of surprise as the poor fuckers fall back dying. Maybe I knew them once but it don't fuckin' matter now. This place got nothin' for me... never had.
…
Silica
Wonder if he can see my hand shakin' or not. I try not to look away from the door, has my normal answer ever been more appropriate? Wouldn't want to disappoint him.
"Never," I answer, but the normalcy of it is some small bit of comfort. Wi…
Silica
There's something in Rosie's voice. She slides her hands onto my wrist and up to my hands, urging me to let up. I can't imagine what the fuck she's gonna do but, "ok... ok.... you came back..."
I swallow hard and gently remove my hands, one…
Silica
My hands pressed hard against Hadden's bloody wound I turn to look at Rosie, her face through that mask.
"Th... thugs?" I look towards the door, still swinging slightly from when she kicked it in. I'm not moving these fuckin' hands for not…