Silica
I hang out while she goes over to hug him... you know Kaykay, fuckin' stop it... I take a couple steps over towards her and smack her on the side of the head, like... where that old scar I left is. Not hard, but enough to get her attention.
…
Silica
Hadden's a weirdo, makes me almost laugh, just... what the fuck is he saying half the time?
Sucks watchin' him go though, just when we was feeling good again. I lean back against the truck where I stumbled and look over at Kaykay like... ye…
Silica
Kaykay been standing round, not like I'm ignoring her outright, but she can tell I'm doing some business here right? When I told Hadden about the ice I kind of told her too at the same time...
But Hadden's the man right now and she's just b…
Silica
"Take the rock," I set it delicately in his hand, it's about a jingle's worth all diced up propa'... he's gotta know that. It's heavier than it looks, you often cut ice with some inert ingredient to get the right feel out of it. Pure you got…
Silica
I jump down from the cab. Weird, standing up there I felt on top of things, but when my feet hit the frozen dirt I'm suddenly lookin' up at Hadden again. Like... he's a head taller right? Sort of makes me feel silly.
I pull out a good sized…
Silica
Preservers? Nope, shit's new to me. Heard of them, but they're weird old guys right?
By the time we stop I'm up in the back, leaning my ass up against the cab, pickin' on my fingernails or something. Run outta that posh place like we ain't …
Silica
Yeah I'm about to say something but she cuts me off... yeah whatever. No big thing... I got my groove back, just enjoyin' the fuckin' ride.
For now.
Silica
"Whadda you want?" I shout out at the bird, a smile on my face... this mean somethin's coming for me now? Are you a good thing or a bad thing, Lunch?
Then Hadden calls back, I crouch down to look in the window, a grin on my face... a grin t…
Silica
I'm feeling a little punch drunk (and slightly actually drunk) after flipping off whoever-the-fuck. The truck lurches and I end up having to catch my balance on the rail atop the cab... kind of hangin' on. I wanna scream and shit... I holler…
Silica
Why am I so pissed off? Not like bad shit isn't always happenin' around... why's this gettin' to me so much? Kaykay's askin' for more and ugh... I just turn my head to look at her like... really?
Fuck it, this angsty shit ain't me.... I sta…
Silica
Hadden tries to tell a joke, I'm pissed off right now, probably more than I should be. You know what? I think Hadden should know better... this shit shouldn't happen... But fuck it, if jokes get you by, sure, I'm game. I snap back,"you draw …
Silica
Once Neva's left the table I kind of throw myself back into my seat, shoulders against the chair back and head leaning back... like... deep breaths. "Fuck," I begin, just complaining. I shoot Kaykay a look, kind of annoyed with her... she to…
Silica
I hear that, relax a little bit. Does she leave the gun in my hand? Whateva, we ain't gonna need it right?
Either way I keep kissing her, keep this up till Neva' leaves the table, Hadden or no. She really think this means all that? Fuck... …
Silica
Illusion? I just saved your life, girl! But the kiss? You know I... ok I enjoy what Kaykay's got and what she does to me, alright? Yeah that's no joke but this ain't that so much... this is stayin' alive right here...
I'm listening to every…
Silica
Fuck... Kaykay's about to pull her iron and put a bullet in this bitch. But that ain't right, Kaykay... are you that fast? I ain't that fast... and sorry girl but maybe you're my equal but you ain't faster.
I start to breathe short breaths,…
Silica
They fightin... sure enough. Fightin' with fists and guns and shit... not my fuckin' thing right? But I get it... but they fightin' with words. Hadden's gotta the best at that shit right? He gonna leave this bitch bloody, so to speak... righ…
Silica
Nevasumma is a cold motherfucker, I know that much. the kind you cross the street to avoid passin' and look away from. He has to mention fuckin' Method... I was just startin' to forget the feel of his blood on my hands... only fucker I ever …
Silica
So I feel the tension at the table before I realize why, you know I've had a little to drink by now.... which might not be a good thing.
Never Summer? That fucker's one of Molotov's new gang, ain't she? News of this stuff gets to me, but I…
Silica
We walk in in that air of just-fucked and not waited to come down... yeah... kinda high on the feeling...
I plop my ass down on the seat, taking a big breath... like... oh yeah.... food.
Hadden asks and I blurt out without a moment hesitat…
Silica
I do that startled thing you do when you lost track of time. "Fuck..." I say pushing myself up to sit against the door and look down at her face. "We gotta get back Kaykay..."
Heavy breaths... I try to scramble out from under her, it's been…
Silica
You know I meant it, five minutes.... trying to be good... er... not totally bad. But you know I might lose track of time a little bit. Maybe... few minutes... right?
Silica
Yeah I climb up first, Kaykay urgently shovin at my ass. I scooch across the seat the the opposite window, my left foot up against the seatback, my right leg stretch out straight. I reach forward and help pull her inside as she climbs up and…
Silica
So we're makin' out just outside, which is hot... right? The truck's right over there...
I pull myself away from her kiss to take a step and glance in the door and see what Hadden's up to... yeah, he's at some fuckers table chattin' em up.…
Silica
She surprises the shit outta me, dive bombin' huh? On target... I've been kinda hot all day after talkin' to Hadden and yeah you know Kaykay's got my number. First couple seconds she's got me unprepared, but they I kiss back, get my hands on…
Silica
What the fuck, she gets me all excited and then pulls this emo shit on me, "fuck Kaykay, ok forget it... I was just fuckin' with ya..." I wave my hands in front of my face... obviously I wasn't just fucking with her.
But something does occu…
Silica
Wow... the look on my face must be priceless, "you mean..." I point to the place with my thumb, "b...both of us... with Hadden?"
I suddenly let out a held breath, almost laugh, "you fuckin serious? You uh... want to?"
Silica
Yeah outside, I take a deep breath, flap my hoodie around a little bit to get the air inside... then she hits me with that one:
"Wha? Hadden?" deer in the headlights, "what? Why... no... we ain't like that right? I mean..."
Fuck she got me…
Silica
She bumps me and for some reason I glance at Hadden who'se lookin out at someone or other who must be a playa 'round here...
"Sure, yeah..." I scooch off the seat, keeping casual. "And uh... step outside for a sec maybe... cool the fuck off…