Silica
My hair? Truth is the color's fading to an unhealthy looking pale color and I've been letting my natural brown grow out... so they're only semi-purple at the moment. It's not like you get really good quality hair dye around here, stuff doesn…
Silica
He asks about Footie and this trembling feeling rises inside me... I answer with a comforting lie, "no... that don't mean nothin' to me..." But I can't look him in the eye saying that
He mentions Samaritan... now I look, "you know I was th…
Silica
"I'm here."
He says... yeah... and he's lookin' at me like that... like what? I'm suddenly self conscious. Wipe at my eyes and try and get my shit together like it matters all of a sudden.
"I'll help."
Bullshit... right? The kind of bulls…
Silica
I turn my head back to his face when he touches me... he's lookin' me right in the eyes so I look right back. His eyes are calm... like you can fill 'em with your problems and they'll just get lost in there. How's he stay so fuckin' together…
Silica
I open my mouth a tiny bit as if to speak, you know what I always say... but it seems useless... I just shrug, a little sadly, shake my head ironically side to side just a hint and kinda look towards the door, towards outside, "not ok... shi…
Silica
Not liking me very much seems to be the default. "Well fuck you too," I say under my breath. Though she probably can't hear me she can probably sense the cold look I'm returning to her. Lashfight huh?
As Hadden enters I'm leaning against th…
Silica
I mutter, "think I got enemies every-fuckin-where... I don't know what's what with Squirrel and me... and... well.. you know about most of it..." yeah, being ironic or whatever, but the truth is, I don't even know who the shit I mighta piss…
Silica
I just look back at her with a shit-eating grin, shake my head slightly, "no fuckin' clue..." I stand up, trying not to move too fast...
I speak in a near whisper, "hey, uh... where we meetin' up with Haddie? There's a shitload of people I'…
Silica
Holy shit! Take a deep sudden breath, surprised.
"You scared the shit outta me!" I say to the bird... wait... ok talking to a bird, not the wierdest thing that's happened this week. I kind of lean away from it... does this bird know I was p…
Silica
Why you gotta rub it in all the time? Yeah you think I don't know? Tryin' to do the right thing here...
She holds me and that's... ok. Weird... I just fucked your daughter... or maybe your daughter fucked me is more like it.
But yeah, she …
Silica
I scoff, like she's full of shit at first... and as she says the part about "a dead guy's arms..." that almost sets me off, I feel this defenseive anger welling up inside, she can probably feel it, the way I'm so close to her on the bike.
…
Silica
Helmet?
She says there's no assholes out, "yeah? That's what I thought, too..." My leg still feels a little tender when I think about it. It'll probably always remind me. I climb up behind her, taking a good close look at that rifle it loo…
SiIica
I nod to HP, she's still being decent as fuck to me, which is surprising, and I'll remember. Don't take me long to get dressed, its dark so I'll wear my jeans, Owly shirt, the usual tennis.
But Kaykay gives me that kiss... which kind of blo…
Silica
Kaykay makes that declaration, and yeah... it feels right. She can say that, how can I argue?
I even smile as she talks about how that would cage me up... which opens me up for that kiss. Yeah, this is good.. I kiss her back, though... take…
Silica
The door and stuff gets my attention, we may not have much time until... whatever happens, happens.
"Not sure I'd say friends..." I joke, tilting my head to touch hers, she's at my shoulder, "but we sure as shit been something..."
I turn t…
Silica
I look over at Hitec when she speaks up, then back at Kaykay, sitting up, still over her middle.
"Well she didn't draw iron on my skiny ass," I say, trying to be funny... lighten the mood or something... though this obviously sucks. Sittin…
Silica
I lean down close, if I weren't in such a serious state of mind I'd probably laugh at her stupidy face... but... yeah.
"Hey," I start, a more serious tone, shaking my head. "Look... things are... weird... ok? I don't think I can stick aroun…
Silica
I really don't have a clue what to say or do as I break and run into Kaykay's room, and she's chasing me? There's this child-like thrill that rises up in me, like we're a couple of kids getting one over on an adult... but in this case the da…
Silica
Slowly I turn around and collect the stamps from the couch and stick them in my pocket. I toss my pack from the sofa over near the door where it can wait for me, all the while looking at Hitec, who is no doubt watching.
I'm not going to fuc…
Silica
She comes at me, which yeah makes me flinch and stumble backwards a step, trip over something and almost lose my feet in the darkness. But I catch myself on the edge of the couch. I try to interject a couple times but only manage to make a c…
Silica
She's touching some nerves... you know, I might almost agree with her until the end.
I stand up and walk a couple steps towards the hall. Yeah I talk back, a harsh little whisper "That's such bullshit! You're the one let me in the fuckin' …
Silica
Shit... allright. So what is it now bitch? Just for makesure's glance down. My pack is near the sofa, my gear in there. My iron... fuck why didn't I sleep with it? It's ok... just arm's length... and she's not gonna jump me in her own home r…
Silica
But yeah... I took care of her this time, like I said right? Little nervous but I turn things around, surprise her. Get her on her back and kinda go for it. I'm not exactly sexually inhibited you know, just... gettin' over a learning curve h…
Silica
Well that kinda puts a little tarnish on things doesn't it. Fuck her, she wants to fuck with me? Let her. Not like I'm staying that long anywa..... wait... the fuck am I thinking?
I kiss her, sure I do, giggling... but then I squirm out fr…
Silica
The sex... I'm feeling her body... this kind of slow, luscious fucking is totally new to me... I try to get into it, make her feel good, too. It's still weird.. I touch her like I might break something, tentative... but eventually i get bold…
Silica
We kiss, here in the dark on her mom's couch... yeah she's got a hold of me... she's made me want her. I don't know if this is right, if this is real... but right now, I fucking want it more than anything.
She's totally in charge, too... I'…
Silica
My head's turned slightly into the cushions of the sofa. You know... I don't feel that much like I deserve a reward... you know what I was probably dreaming about, you know the last guys I fucked right? Where he is now... where I was a coupl…
Silica
Touching my nipples like that makes me hiss softly through my teeth and kind of sink down into the sofa. One foot on the floor now and the other out straight.
I whisper back, my right hand on her shoulder and neck. I feel her little motion…