Silica
I don't even fuckin' know what that word.. it's... I can't even answer right away, "oh yeah like you know..." I stare at her with open mouth for like half a second before answering, "anything about it... who the fuck is tryin' to help me?"
…
Silica
She just out and says it, like that's the way it is. Kind of stings... why does it fucking bother me so much? Not like Hadden and I have something... right? I don't even fuckin' know what we got, but I just kind of snap back at her about it.…
Silica
I sit up and swing my legs off the side of the bed, stretch my aching shoulder. She's bothering the shit out of me... and I'm not ready for it.
"Hadden? You're the one fuckin' Hadden, Kaykay..." I shoot at her with a sidelong glare, "aren't…
Silica
Suddenly K2's lookin' at me. Laying in this fluffy bed, soft all around... I wonder if I've been jawin' in my sleep or some shit. Did I really just talk to ... I reach up and rub my eyes. Ugh... I need to get better at waking up. I'm always …
Silica
My father can open a man's chest and show me his beating heart... he can all but bring back the dead, no bullshit... he told me. He can cure the sick and this guy lost a hand in a knife fight one time? He put the fucking thing back on... se…
Silica
Fuck her... talking like she knows me.
"No shit, I'm stronger than my fuckin' sister, ok? Think I neeld you to tell me 'bout it? You know how much shit I lived through... shit..." why am I telling her? This stupid dream of this bitch I don…
Silica
It's obvious she struck a nerve and I just kind of lose it for a second, "hey fuck you! I'm doing... just... fine.. I do what I gotta do to get by allright?" By the end of the sentence I'm back more to a quiet sadness than anger though. That…
Silica
A safe place, yes. From long ago. When I was a young teen and father was busy, sometime I could sneak across the grounds to the basement of the other wing. It was quiet there, painted a calming sunny yellow. The little windows all had metal …
Silica
Gotta shake my head. Just figures.
I walk on in, poke around a little bit, go sit on the bed. There's a stack of magazines on the bed, including a bunch of old "Rolling Stone" magazines with various attractive people on the covers. I pick u…
Silica
I hear the singing even before I come out of the bathroom. It's actually ok... just ok... is that K2 singing? Kind of a reedy voice, the kind who'd sing good alternate music... if people still did that.
"Yeah?" I try not to show it but... i…
Silica
Whatever... fuckin' bitch.
I disappear therough the door, get my clothes off and take a longish shower, wash my hair good. The color's fading and my hair's turning brown, I notice. Don't really care, maybe peope won't recognize me so easily…
Silica
Ugh, just great.
Hopefully she doesn't catch me glancing at her tits. She's younger than me and already... fuck... whatever. Guys like tits... yeah I know ok? Fine.
I don't say anything to K2, just walk in past her as she steps out of the …
Silica
My arms fall to my sides and I exhale an exasperated breath typical of a highly frustrated teen. A frustrated growly sound excapes my lips as I push past Hitec and out the door. I all but shout, "I'm not doing you any fuckin' favors being he…
Silica
I just shake my head, "No... no I don't think so..." is she here? I hafta look towards the bedrooms or whatever, "I gotta take care of this, allright? And... you know..."
I shrug, like it should be obvious, "it's gettin' cold out..." sure,…
Silica
A long exhale then I sit up and put down the half-finished tea, "sure, sure ok... I just..." I stand, shaking my head. Don't wanna get someone I kind of give a shit about killed.
"I gotta go bury my sled out there..." I thumb towards the do…
Silica
I glance down at my shoulder, "I told you... Soulja's lookin' for me... they found me allright? Shit happened... you know I shouldn't even be here." I manage a weak, ironic smile, shaking my head.
But I'm tired. Fuck I'm tired.
Silica
Take a sip of tea and a good drink of silence. I'm leaning back, my head lolling over the back of the sofa and my feet out in front with heels on the floor in constrast to Hitec's almost elegant posture.
Looking up at the ceiling... anothe…
Silica
I pat the door frame a couple times as I walk inside. Just sort of a nervous habit, walking into a place.
I follow her into the room and stand while she prepares a drink. The frost in my hair melts in the warmer air and I shake my head a l…
Silica
I think silently a few seconds, my lips a thin line. Another glance outside. "yeah, ok, what the fuck..."
I take a step inside, but then pause with a hand on the doorframe. "Wait..." I wait till she looks at me clear, "I got heat on me, Hi…
Silica
I pull the bike around like half a mile outside of underlake. I can't just fuckin' ride up on the place, no way can I explain this. But nobody's fuckin there... so I'm bending corners on the way to Handplant's place... not my first fuckin' c…
Silica
Sure... Underlake. Haven't been back there since... well... I'll avoid Squirrel and his people. Is there any-fuckin-one I'm not afraid fo seeing?
I tear through the streets as fast as I can handle until I hit the open ice of the lake, then …
Silica
"Holy shit!" I struggle to stay on the sled as it kicks, sliding sideways in a skid a second or two before taking off. I just go straight and fast for several blocks, trying to get a handle on the thing. How the fuck... ok...
Now I'm not go…
Silica
The sled is just sitting there... like... callin' me. You know? It's a way out, a way past. I'm scared awake, every choice is harder to make, someone's dead in there, if I don't fuckin' do something it's gonna be me.
I can't wait.. I gotta …
Silica
Oh shit... I run like hell, see her reaching for that gun. Wonky goes after her and I hesitate for like... a moment, but my decision's made. I take the fuck off, duck around the corner past the shitter, smash on the cover with my good should…
Silica
My head is full, wakin' up fast isn't my greatest talent. Ok... shit... these soldia's? Do they know I'm involved? Yes... they been lookin' for me. They know I ran with Squirrel right? I was seen all over the pier with... fuck.
Yeah I can't…
Silica
"Come now, Silica, touch it!" he commands from beneath the clean medical-green mask. I'm just past my ninth birthday, a sliver of a thing, holding a clean piece of cloth over my mouth and nose as he instructed. I've not been called into the …