Silica
Look I don't have that many options right now. Sure yeah Wonky fucked up, ignored me and got us cut... won't fucking happen again. But there's at least two groups of uniformed fuckers looking for me on the streets and I'm hurtin more than I'…
Silica
His sister? Everything I wear seems to be a hand me down from someone or fucking other... who am I kidding, everything in the world use to belong to someone else... nothin' new any more.
I answer Wonky, "Rossi? Fuck no I just came from her …
Silica
I gotta laugh, "you kiddin' me?" but I'm all smiles. "Yeah, I'll take it, man.. can't go walkin' round in this bloody mess."
The shirt looks something like this:
I get up to take the shirt and hold it up to me, seeing how it looks. It is …
Silica
I'm about to say something but then he puts that shit in the wound, "sonofabitch! I knew it... I hate that fuckin' stuff!" I slam a fist into the mattress a few times until the pain fades.
Couple seconds pass before I add, "Well I can't fuc…
Silica
I sit up with a start, who the fuck? I forgot the doc was coming. Holy shit that scared me...
I pull off my shirt so he can see my shoulder and hold it to my front, then lay back down on my stomach next to him. Little bit uncomfortable with…
Silica
Yeah this sucks... but I surprise myself, somehow I remember... push the needle through, pull the wound closed, tie... don't think about the blood. Fuck...
When I'm done I step back, breathing heavy, panicked breaths. My fingers are bloody.…
Silica
This is so... so fucking weird.
The wound is oozing blood, I tell Kwaito to, "hold this on the wound... you know..." I fold up a strip of cloth for him to apply some pressure while I prepare.
So then I take the salt, find a cup or pail or …
Silica
I stand there frozen stupid for a second, then snap myself out of it and take the needle and thread... shit. Why do I feel compelled to do this?
I walk into the room and smell the blood. I'm not looking at the wound, but instead down at the…
Silica
I'm already feeling a little sick... the sound of the slug hitting the table sort of startles me out of my haze.
"What? What me?" they don't know who my father is... but I've probably seen him do stuff like this dozens of times. Not that I …
Silica
I watch as Kwaito prepares his tweezers, pulls back Wonky's clothing and prepares to remove the bullet. But as Wonky grimaces and I see blood I just... lower my face and turn away, I can't take this... I really can't take this.
Wonky ain't …
Silica
Nothin' I can fucking say... I stand there and watch him hobble over to his cousin, who turns out is a remarkably tolerant person. I nod back. Shit... this sucks.
Silica
That makes me pause. Damn, Wonky... what am I to you?
I look down at the little handgun he gave me, turn it over again in my hand then stand up and walk to him. Not touching him or anything, just walking over... I hold it out to him, "give …
Silica
"Doc on the way right? Get the fuckin' doc ta do it!"
What the hell, man... I look around the room for my bag. Realizing I have a handful of meds in there I got for easy barter. Maybe some of that fuckin' disinfectant powder that hurts lik…
Silica
My mouth is a little nervous slit, eyes wide. Yeah... ok I get it... I sit back down on the edge of the bed, really uncomfortable with this shit.
Yeah, you fucked up... I exhale a long breath like a teenager that's told no.
"Fine... ok fi…
Silica
It does hurt, I grit my teeth and a little whine escapes as he looks at the wound, but I don't fuckin' cry.
Wonky offers me the gun which is... weird... I take it, just looking at it. I turn it over in my hands a couple times, "wh... why?"…
Silica
He kind of startles me when he wakes... if he were sleeping I just might have decided to disappear on him. Shitty I know but... shitty thing.
He reaches out to touch me and I want to just tell him to fuck off and pull away but... fuckin' Wo…
Silica
I wake. The fear of the attack still fresh in my head like I was there. it's startling to be suddenly awake and my dreams haven't been kind. My breaths are shallow and panicked as if those fuckers were still here beatin' on us.
As suddenly…
Silica
The hurt comes down on us like fuckin' fast... I kick at them, screamin' all kinds of shit but really I'm just panicking and not doing much good. Then the guy hits me in the shoulder and it's... no... no no... Silica.... no....
I let out an…
Silica
Shit! I fuckin' knew it! Paying off these guys doesn't really seem like an option, not with Wonky, not on this bike... we can fly the fuck out of here, but.... shit they're too close!
"Oh shit... Wonky, fuckin' move!" I cry out, slapping W…
Silica
We race down the highway, we're well across the river already, but the speed feels like shelter... nothing can fuck with you if you're tearing past... but there's something, sounds... flashes of motion which might be startled birds or might …
Silica
"Milwaukee! No shit... no fuckin' way!" That's like a whole 'nother country! Didn't know peope could go that far, "you're shittin' me right?"
But he offers to take me to Morton's... which is well outside my turf. Supposed to be these crazy …
Silica
Faster? Even faster? Holy shit... I think I spend the whole ride screamin' all kinds of shit you wouldn't want your mother hearing, but it's awesome! So awesome!
There's a sad thought in the back of my brain but I'm goin' too fast and it …
Silica
Sitting on the bike behind Wonky, it's not exactly... where I wish I were but it's starting to feel familiar. His jacket has this familiar feel against my cheek as I wrap my arms around his thick middle and he smells of oiled leather and gre…
Silica
I slap him back, hard, on his shoulder, a little slightly angry look on my face, "thanks for fuckin' reminding me!" But I laugh it off, just fucking with him, "and you're right, I don't fuckin' remember... show me."
And I follow him up into…
Silica
Of course I've heard a little about what's going on, big gangs settling scores... Skegs been in the think of it from the sound of it.
I find a weak smile for him, "oh yeah? Bendin' corners?" Sure, I'll bite... and it feels like there's ants…