Silica
I stop and let him catch up, my arms at my sides now, "hey Wonky," I look up at his face. He looks bigger than I'm used to for some reason, "doin' ok... Still in one fuckin' piece, nothin' skanlous. You good?"
I'm not doing as good as all t…
Silica
I was at Rossi's just for that first night. It wasn't... awful... but it wasn't amazing either... more uncomfortable silence than being at each other's throats at least. But you know... I'm havin' nightmares, being around her brings back the…
Silica
Saying thanks to Rossi and Rossi sayin' sorry? This is the least likely thing that's happened like... ever. Who whoulda thought... feels like I'm gonna start crying again... get a grip, Silica...
I notice Jester up there trying not to watch…
Silica
I'm silent for a little too long, just staring down kind of at her feet. At least I've mostly stopped crying. We stand there awkwardly wondering if the conversation is over, Jester pretendin' not to watch. Just as it reaches that breaking po…
Silica
I'm calm enough to talk to her, way better than a couple minutes ago. I'm pretty good at saving my feelings inside, kind of have to be. I lost my shit there... Rossi's here... maybe its bullshit but she says she's here for me. I have to ad…
Silica
Rosie's talking to me, her voice sounds softer than I've heard in a long time. She's stopped with that fakish masked man voice... how did I not see it... I'm such a fuckin' idiot sometimes.
But she brings up... then... and she can see me gl…
Silica
It's stupid... but doesn't having Silica walk along in Rossi's footsteps here it feels a little bit like back then? Before? Rossi knows that dad would take his... frustrations on his daughters. It started with Rossi... but.. when Rossi got t…
Silica
It takes a little coaxing to get my feet to move. I'm kind of in a daze here... I haven't had a worse day for years.
There's blood on my face and neck, my leg, but mostly on my hands and the coat I've removed and left behind. Getting clean …
Silica
Ok what the hell now... I see that shift in her posture, there's something here... I'm suddenly tense... as if I could feel worse.
I look slowly over at Lemma, my hollow eyes dark and sullen... "t'sall fucked..."
Silica
I'm just trying to breathe... my sister shows her face and speaks... almost kindly. Though I don't really hear it now I definitely notice.
I turn my eyes up to her and try not to look at the dead body under my bloody yellow coat, "no... fuc…
Silica
I just... don't fucking believe it. I mean... it makes sense, and I even suspected... seeing my sister in the graveyard with Jester acting like... well, not at all like the whore I thought of her. The way people talk about her didn't match w…
Silica
I take a step back from Footie, finally... peel my eyes away. I reach down and pick up the bloody icepick and walk over to Squirrel... just like a couple steps away. Is he fucking alive?
"You fuckin' know me... right... hangin' round like m…
Silica
I look up at the masked guy, turn my head and stare... there's somethin' bout him... him...
I try to stand, a staggering unsteady step with one hand on the ground. I get to my feet and remove my yellow coat and lay it over top of Footie. C…
Silica
I rise up to my knees, not lookin' up at the mask. Gently I place Footie's hands down across her chest... there's so much blood... I just shake my head slowly and stare, I'm not ready to stand yet... my knees weak. It's hard to breathe. I'm …
Silica
I hear that... I hear the sounds of death about to happen... all I can see is Footie's freckled face, though. But I turn my head ever so slightly towards the masked intruder and see him telling the sledder to kneel... I know what that probab…
Silica
She touches my face, she doesn't feel quite so warm this time... I just fuckin' cry. Can't stop looking at her, that's all I can do right? Be here... I reach up to hold the hand she raised near my face and I just see the light in her eyes fa…
Silica
It's shocking, the blood, the suffering... we were fuckin' riding outside just a few minutes ago... I don't have a clue what to do in this situation. It fuckin' hurts to see her like that, bloody... fuckin' dying. For a second I look around…
Silica
Yeah I just lose it, stabbing him until he stops moving, screaming. I half expect to feel bullets tearing into me, killing me... now I know how it feels. And now I know how it feels to kill with my own hands... holy shit...
I raise my head …
Silica
Damn it, Squirrel, give him up! Then he starts to bleed... what the hell, I don't... this didn't happened before.... I just kind of stare at him, I don't understand what's happening and urgently ask, "what the fuck! Squirrel!" I glance at my…
Silica
The crack of the whip makes me cringe, my knees bend and I kind of cover myself as I'm being attacked. Fuck... never seen shit like that!
I feel hot, the tunnel feels dark and close, like I can't move. I look around... wait, which way? I fe…
Silica
Fuck... This shit is turning bad, I feel a knot in my chest, I look at Footie standing by me, this look on my face... they gonna cap Squirrel, I don't fucking believe this shit! We was just racin outside and it comes to this!
Fuck you Squi…
Silica
Nose leads the way in and I'm on his tail with Footie. If Squirrel takes a good look at our faces he'd probably see that this isn't just a client or something... I know enough to know this is serious, but these guys aren't soldia's or anythi…
Silica
I kind of wish she hadn't asked, brought down the mood that's for sure.
I softly repeat to myself, "ok, keep it cool.... we're alright... not gonna be trouble..." But I gotta remember we're kind of hostages here aren't we... fuck. I Should…
Silica
I share her excitement. You know, I love going fast, don't get to do that so often in this world, but it's the best...
I slide down, squeezing between Pretzel and the runner bar to slide off to the other side. My hand runs along Pretzel's …
Silica
Feels like he means it... he's just a normal fucker handling his business... ok then. I'll be on guard when we arrive, but this is just this... and it's kind of awesome.
Not answering him about a place, but I just press my ass against him a…