Your Ma replies with a hint of misery, "The world, Kiddo. You live in the world, and you won't let it beat you down. If anything messes up her life, it will be the world." She squeezes your hand, like she's trying to give you some strength. "You are taking care of business. No way that messes her up."
She is quiet for a bit, just sitting there with you, in Zagnut's sick tent. She watches Zag sleeping while sitting by you. "Never seen Zag take a break-up this hard, Kiddo. Took me a while to get the truth out of her. Dumb bitch feels old. Thinks she's done for, ready to be put out to pasture, all alone." She shakes her head, like its a crazy notion.
"And here I am, with a daughter who came hundreds of klicks to save me, a husband who took me back after.... all that happened. It's just hard to tell her to buck up, when I've had it so good." She looks at you, all sudden serious, "I don't deserve a daughter like you, Kiddo. You've done right by me, more than I could've ever dreamed."
She raises a finger, like she knows you're about to object, and she's not done. "You know, I used to be angry at you, when you were growing up. I wanted my daughter to be a Candy Bar, like her Ma and her Ma before." She pauses, checking your reaction on that. "But I knew Ollie wanted something different for you. He never told me, but I knew. And I resented it, for a long time. Only had one girl, that lived, and she wasn't gonna be a Candy Bar. The line would die with me."
"It took me too damn long to realize I was wrong. I was, you know. You're a hell of a lot more than some biker bitch, Kiddo. And I love you. For being you."
Damn it Ma'... A jug of moonshine chased with a shot of peach schnapps. That's her parenting style, and damned if it doesn't make peach schnapps taste frakking sweet... I just wish she wasn't so frakking insistent I finish the jug of moonshine first. She's wrong about one thing though...
"Ma... I love you too. You know I do. Dad didn't want a different life for me — I did. I watched Dad pace, drink, and smoke himself into not caring that you were gone for years. He'd get the shakes, and lie to me about not worrying about you when you'd ride with the Candies because he was afraid, every single time you left, that you might not be coming back."
I rub her hand, and look up to hold her gaze, "In the middle of last season, I rode up to Simon's grave to see if I could find any evidence of you guys, and I ran across that crazy robot chick, spouting that Dad had cancer, and you had rode North... I was ready to ride north after you right then and there, but Hump and Rinny were both back in Salt. When I got back there, Hump let me go, but not before he looked me square in the eyes and said "You better come back for me, Kiddo."" My lips stiffen, and I can feel water welling up in my eyes. "I knew then that I was doing to him what the Candies did to me when I was a girl. I needed to go find you — and nothing was going to stop me from doing that — but I was tearing Hump apart."
I sniffle and look away, wiping the moisture from my eyes, "I love you Ma', and Dad loves you, and Hump loves you... I'd do anything for you guys, and now I'm trying to start a family of my own. I wanna give other folks the love you guys gave me growing up, and I want my baby girl to have the strong mother I had, who would do anything for her..." A funny smile gradually wobbles across my cheeks, "even if she doesn't wanna be a Candy..."
She puts a strong arm around you and squeezes, "You're a good daughter. You'll be a great Ma." She lets go, then starts to get up, then offers you a hand as well. "I'll be there tomorrow morning.
I lean into her, and pause a moment to think before taking her hand and getting up. I smile back at her when she agrees to meet in the infirmary tomorrow morning, "Ok. If you need anything, come find Vee or me... We're happy to help."
Comments
She is quiet for a bit, just sitting there with you, in Zagnut's sick tent. She watches Zag sleeping while sitting by you. "Never seen Zag take a break-up this hard, Kiddo. Took me a while to get the truth out of her. Dumb bitch feels old. Thinks she's done for, ready to be put out to pasture, all alone." She shakes her head, like its a crazy notion.
"And here I am, with a daughter who came hundreds of klicks to save me, a husband who took me back after.... all that happened. It's just hard to tell her to buck up, when I've had it so good." She looks at you, all sudden serious, "I don't deserve a daughter like you, Kiddo. You've done right by me, more than I could've ever dreamed."
She raises a finger, like she knows you're about to object, and she's not done. "You know, I used to be angry at you, when you were growing up. I wanted my daughter to be a Candy Bar, like her Ma and her Ma before." She pauses, checking your reaction on that. "But I knew Ollie wanted something different for you. He never told me, but I knew. And I resented it, for a long time. Only had one girl, that lived, and she wasn't gonna be a Candy Bar. The line would die with me."
"It took me too damn long to realize I was wrong. I was, you know. You're a hell of a lot more than some biker bitch, Kiddo. And I love you. For being you."
"Ma... I love you too. You know I do. Dad didn't want a different life for me — I did. I watched Dad pace, drink, and smoke himself into not caring that you were gone for years. He'd get the shakes, and lie to me about not worrying about you when you'd ride with the Candies because he was afraid, every single time you left, that you might not be coming back."
I rub her hand, and look up to hold her gaze, "In the middle of last season, I rode up to Simon's grave to see if I could find any evidence of you guys, and I ran across that crazy robot chick, spouting that Dad had cancer, and you had rode North... I was ready to ride north after you right then and there, but Hump and Rinny were both back in Salt. When I got back there, Hump let me go, but not before he looked me square in the eyes and said "You better come back for me, Kiddo."" My lips stiffen, and I can feel water welling up in my eyes. "I knew then that I was doing to him what the Candies did to me when I was a girl. I needed to go find you — and nothing was going to stop me from doing that — but I was tearing Hump apart."
I sniffle and look away, wiping the moisture from my eyes, "I love you Ma', and Dad loves you, and Hump loves you... I'd do anything for you guys, and now I'm trying to start a family of my own. I wanna give other folks the love you guys gave me growing up, and I want my baby girl to have the strong mother I had, who would do anything for her..." A funny smile gradually wobbles across my cheeks, "even if she doesn't wanna be a Candy..."