Hard not to be skeptical at what Bond is saying, I just quietly complain, "yeah... a little..." And the fact that she's telling Rosie to take care of me is not what I want to hear. But other than that I keep my mouth shut and mostly keep glancing at Hadden.
What the fuck? We're all happy now? Not even the slightest bit curious who chopped her son's toes off? For fuck's sake! I look around the room at the faces of all these people I've inadvertently dragged into my shitty fucking decisions... Great.
I sigh dejectedly, Jester's harm weighing heavily on my conscience, and turn back to face Bond. "The meds don't work that way – they're an injection. I doubt Mel actually hurt Silica... Give me a minute..."
I turn to Hadden and tilt my head back to his truck. "Can you give me a hand with my shit outside?" He would know I'm not carrying enough to need help. This is an excuse to get him alone.
I'm kind of leaning against the wall, really out of sorts. Rub my temples helps a little, and Silica's watching me again with some unreadable look on her face. Gotta get my own shit together. I wonder if Lemma is in Underlake right now... can't think about home just yet.
"Yeah, Rossi, sure. I could use some air." I look at Silica to ask if she'd rather one of us stays with her, and my mouth half opens, inhale to start speaking... Then I remember maybe she doesn't want my help. I look away, glance back, head to the door. Hands in my pockets.
"We'll be right back with the meds, I say, mostly to the wall.
Yeah, of course Rosie doesn't think I got hurt, wouldn't give a shit if I was... but somewhere in the corner of my brain I did hear my sister telling her to leg go of me... didn't I? Or did I... imagine that too.
Hadden walks past on the way to the truck and he's looking at me all weird. I bite my bottom lip and look at him as he passes, my head turning to follow him. I must have freaked out... why's he lookin' at me like that.
And fuck... why the hell is he with my sister? My expression suddenly turns annoyed as they pass and go out the door and I lean heavily back against the wall, one leg bent with the bottom of my foot against the stone wall.
I can't help but rub at my wrist and be annoyed by the awkward silence.
Finally I glance over towards where Jester's layin out, "so he gonna be allright?"
Bond watches Rossi and Hadden leave, her expression still apologetic. She shoots Melancholy one more reproachful glance, but Mel is laying there, staring upwards at nothing.
You ask her about Jester, and she looks at you, shaking her head, "I hope so. His foot was stitched up well, but his head is messed up. His thoughts, I mean."
When I'm outside with Hadden alone I make a b-line for my bag, and produce a small crate of meds and syringes for Mel, then zip up my pack quick-like. I turn to Hadden as I toss it over my shoulder, "I'm sorry about all this... Silica, the mess in there, everything... If the bad shit you're facing down is really that bad, then I'll give you a hand... What is it, anyway? Who the fuck would wanna hurt you?"
Takes me a few seconds to decide if I even want to say anything more but I gotta, "whattya talkin' about? What the..." I gesture at Melancholy, "she say she wanna take my fuckin blood or some crazy shit..."
Outside, I watch the sky, not sure what I'm going to see. It's so quiet here. Rossi almost startles me, but I think I do an okay job of hiding it.
"Rossi... I'll be okay. Make sure you keep your apologies for those who really deserve. It's worth it, remember? Gently, kindly, I know she's on edge.
"This life will hand you enemies aplenty without having to work for them. Believe me." She can probably see I'm feeling sad, or down, or something, and I'm not directly talking about her and her sisters and Jester's moms. I do have a whisper of a smile when she thinks nobody would hurt me. Maybe I'm too useful to die, also? My smile gets a shade grimmer.
I kick some snow clear and sit down on the edge of some stone box, it's got steps.
"Merrell." I let it hang there in the open, she can connect the dots, or ask questions.
I frown when he mentions enemies piling up without effort... He's certainly got me there. I lean against the hood of the truck, and cross my arms to keep warm. I'm not frustrated or anything, just not really sure what to say to that... Then he drops Merrell's name, and my eyebrows lift.
Isn't that an interesting name... "Merrell?" I ask again, for clarification, "the fucker who runs Odyssey II?" That's... Not good. He's got some fucking jingle in his pocket, and he knows how to use it. I sigh loudly, and bite at the inside of my cheek. "What's your beef with him?"
Bond quirks her mouth for a second, trying to push away the irritation of the last few minutes so she can focus on you. She glances back to make sure Melancholy is still lying quietly. Sure that her lover won't attack again, she walks over closer to you. "Melancholy didn't want your blood, Silica. She senses your power. I do, too. You've got a very wonderful, and dangerous gift." She looks at you with a soft smile, like there's a kinship between you.
She approaches and that makes me nervous, I'm not exactly in the best state of mind here. I'm lookin' her in the face though, trying not to get spooked again. Kinship? I don't fuckin' feel it.
"You don't know what I got," I shake my head slightly. She's weirding me out a little too, "I got everythin' figured out... ok I just come here helpin' do your boy a favor and you bust out all this shit..." I raise my chin towards 'Mel.
I return to look into Bond's eyes and quietly say, failing to sound as confident as I want to sound, "you don't know me..."
Bond's kind face quirks a frown, maybe of disappointment? She almost moves to touch you, but hesitates, remains where she is, a safe distance for you. "I don't know you, no. But I know about what you can do. I know about your power, and how scary it must be... at least, it was for me, when I was your age." She looks back to Melancholy. "It was scary for her, too. It can mark you, Silica. It can take things from you."
She keeps her distance, makes me feel a little surer of myself, I lower my foot to the ground. My mouth moves a little bit and I kind of look at her like I'm trying to say some smart ass thing but can't get the words together, "I... you..."
What the hell am I doing in here with these bitches? Suddenly I kind of snap a little. I'm not getting in her face really, but I'm not holding back either.
"Just... fuck you! You never been my fuckin' age! I don't need this fuckin' bullshit... fuckin' scary ass shit..." This all comes out as I start heading for the door. I look towards Jester for one more second but then I'm out of this hole.
I'm out the door, whatever the fuck they're doing out there I walk past Hadden and Rosie, through the graveyard and right up to the truck. I step up on the tire and all but throw myself into the bed to sit again up against the cab, arms crossed.
I look back towards the two one last time then loudly kick a foot against the edge of the truck bed and just kind of let out a frustrated cry.
Family troubles. Well ain't that a fucking bitch? I push off the car and slowly take a few leisurely steps over to him, keeping my posture non-threatening, my uncrossing my arms. "What kind of family troubles, Hadden? I'm ..." I sigh, "I'm trying to help here..." For all the fucking good I'll do.
That's when Silica comes storming out, and kicks Hadden's truck... I cross my arms defensively, and kind of tense up. I look between her and Hadden, kind of inviting Hadden to finish his thought if he's comfortable.
You and me both,as Silica lets out a shout. I look back to Rossi, she's tense but inviting.
"Rossi, some years back, Merrell murdered my dad. He took my mom to maintain control of Underlake and the Odysseyii. My guess is that he hasn't flat-out assassinated me yet because it'd look bad to my mom and the rest of folk." I look at the ground, kind of kick away some snow a little to get to the dirt. "I don't think she knows. I'm afear'd he aims to take out those around me. I think he's using Molotov so I make a move and die."
Deep breaths. Being in this place of the long dead isn't helping.
Well that's a sob story, isn't it? My eyes keep wandering over to Silica over there by the truck, kinda curious about what the hell happened in there... But if her behavior in the fucking truck was any indicator, she probably said something offensive and got kicked out. Part of me assumes she can take it... It's what we grew up doing: taking a bit of abuse.
I bite my cheek again, thinking... This is a bad idea — but Ross is what keeps me alive out in the drifts, so really this is just an eventuality... "So you want Merrell dead or something? I could talk to Molotov for you... Send him a message not to take work from Merrell anymore, or talk him down... Maybe onto your side... If you think that'd help." Really, I'm not sure why the fuck Merrell would want to kill Hadden... That doesn't make much sense. Given the way the last job we got from Merrell went down, I'm guessing that won't be a problem.
I can't tell if she's crossing her arms under her rack to distract me or what. I follow her look over to Silica... What the fuck happened down there before? Is happening? I pull myself up.
"I don't want Merrell dead exactly. I don't know what that would do to my mom." I glance over at Jester's moms' place, thinking of his momma wasting away and of his mom full of worry. "Do you think Molotov T. Gunlugger would listen to you about this thing? I hear he took down Carnation and is running Grease Park now. It's a big big bigass hairy mess. Molotov took responsibility for the Collapse. Over the radiowaves. Forty-two Underlakers died, and people know he works for me! I gotta deliver on this! I'm in a giant-ass shit sandwich, Rossi. I can't think straight and I'm putting my friends in crosshairs!" My whole little speech here ends near-shouting, but I don't want to aim it at Rossi or Silica. I squeeze my hands into fists, breathe, try to keep the anger and fear down.
"We gotta drop off these meds so we can get the fuck out of here." Maybe she can talk to Molotov, if he knows anything. Maybe I'll just stroll right on into Grease Park with a pistol and talk to Molotov direct, that'll take care of it all. My thoughts are black.
I purse my lips, and explicitly look over to my sister for a second... I'm not really as sharp as Hadden is, and I'm sure if he thinks something is going on, then he's probably right, but I can't just up and walk into Molotov's fucking home – especially in my current state. My best bet is to confront him on my own terms...
"Hadden... I need time to recover... I took a fucking beating out there... Can't this wait a while?"
I lean there against the cool cab of the truck. Well, I was gonna just sit there and mope until everyone was finished but the flatbed smells of fresh blood and I'm not patient enough to sit still that long. Glancing back towards Hadden and Rosie I see they're still fucking talking, Hadden looks pissed off or... something and he keeps lookin' at me.
Impatient, I stand and open up the sliding cab window, then hop up to pull myself through the window head first. My legs flappin' around behind me a second before slipping inside and out of sight.
"Sure, you take care of yourself." And it's sincere and relieved and somehow defeated at the same time. She pushed my hand away last time, so I won't try to touch her. But she can probably tell I could use the human contact.
I'll take the little crate of meds and head into Jester's moms' place.
I look over my shoulder and can see Silica up to something. Yeah, I got the truck keys in my pocket. I wonder if she's after my icecube stash. Great.
I hold onto the drugs for a minute when Hadden reaches for them, so that he has to look up at me. I feel myself shifting into an uncomfortable position out of habit — one that kind of flaunts my girls — and eyeing him just so... You know — like I'm trying to get him to listen to me? Maybe open up a bit? It works on the principle that guys are fucking perverts who'll do anything for pussy... But I catch myself, and feel fucking stupid. Hadden's not that kind of guy... Is he?
I reach out and grab his shoulder, then give him a level look. "Stay here a while... We'll figure something out."
...is Rossi trying to put the make on me? I blink a sec, confused, amused, happy for an instant. Talk about mixed signals. But I grab onto her hand as soon as she touches me, like I'm falling, squeeze her. It means more that she wants me to stay. And maybe not stay here here, but at least to stay around. She's got a strength to her, helps me keep it together.
I open my eyes and return her level look, a hint of an old, real, smile playing around my mouth. "Thanks, Rossi." I hold the moment.
"It's worth it, right?" And I'm agreeing with her. We all need some time to rest up.
"Rossi," I say seriously, "It should be you. You're sisters. But not right this night, don't worry, I know. You both both need to want it." I'll squeeze her hand once more before I let it go.
Still pissed off from before I sit on the driver's side like I see them do, put my hands on the wheel and look out the glass. I lean way down to one side to look under, yeah... they use their feet a lot. I push the pedals a couple times which makes an unsatisfying squeaky sound.
Bored with this I turn in the seat, back against the door and my head against the glass, my feet up on the seat, knees bent.
I crunch my way up to the truck, I can see her purple dreads against the driver's side window. I know she could hear me if she's listening. When I get there, I tap on the glass like a visitor.
My hand's up on the rear-view mirror as he approaches, was takin' a look at myself, something I probably don't do often enough. I turn the mirror a little further to see him over my shoulder, tappin' on the glass.
Great... at least he doesn't look pissed at me.
I reach down with my left hand and roll open the window to let the back of my head drop back a couple inches to rest on the bottom of the window opening so I can look 'up' at him. I got shit I want to say but it's all fuckin' stupid shit makes no sense...
Instead I just say, "what?" I probably sound impatient.
How am I supposed to fucking answer that? It's obvious he's getting all close to my sister, whatever... but...
"I hate this fuckin' place," I start... then hang with my mouth open for a second before sitting up on the seat and turning to face him through the window. I'm still breathing fast, coming down from you know... losing my shit inside the tomb. "So you... doin' crew biz' with Rosie now is that it?"
I'm holding back. Really tryin' to hold back... guess I default to pissed off whenever Rosie's involved.
"Yeah, it's getting to me. I didn't think it would, but it is. Just the scope of this place, so fucking peculiar how it used to be, everything..." I trail off, looking at the sky, at the stones, at the ice-covered sculpture. Sculptures. Imagine the jingle to make something like that. For the dead.
I turn back to her, funny how I'm out here freezing, and she's in there probably cooking. There's a distance between us. I'm searching her face, then she starts off on her sister.
"You know Rossi saved my ass something serious couple months back, right? Down at the Red Brick Road, I had a deal go south. Real south, like bullets inside south. Your sister faced down these assholes and kept my skin in one piece. You can't forget a thing like that." Speaking of not forgetting things, I do remember how I thanked her afterwards. "So I figure she might still be in the ass-saving business, right? I'm going to have to face Molotov soon."
I lean a little closer to her while I'm talking. I wonder if she'll bring it up a level, or if this is where we are now, small talk at a separation.
I start even before he finishes waving my hands in the air in front of my face almost like shooing away a bug, "wait.., wait up. Come on, that's bullshit. Rosie fuckin' saved your ass? No... my sister aint that fuckin' hard, Hadden. Rosie never saved fuckin' anything..."
No fuckin' way did he need her like that.
And we kind of talk over each other for a second until I hear him mention Molotov, "whoa... ok slow down..."
I open the door, pulling the lever with my hand then kicking it open, one foot now down on the door frame as I turn to half-face Hadden. I look him in the face, serious-like. I'm not bullshitting here, " you don't fuck with that, that shit is Rocks. Hadden, you just don't." My head shakes at the end almost unconsciously. Molotov... fuck.
I sit there lookin' out the open door at him. Can't quite get myself calm... here I am face to face with Hadden and we're talkin' about Molotov... fucking Molotov... and dying and shit. This aint right.
Hadden can see it in my face, there's so much going through my head, so much... I can't find the right words.
"This is fucked..." I bury my face in my hands, can't take looking into his amazing eyes any longer.
I want to hold her. Not in the mood for rejection again. She probably doesn't see It, but she might could guess something's up. "I know, I know." I look away, but it's all death here. I try the sky again, that's easier.
"We can drop it, talk about something else if you choose, Silica." I'll give her an opening, I hope she takes it. Probably won't, but maybe.
I look up at him for a moment, then suddenly I slide out of the seat and hop down from the truck, kind of in his face, but not really in a confrontational way. I look up at him, real close like in the face and spread my hands for a second, "consider it dropped..."
Then I step up on the door frame again and half jump up into the truck bed. Standing there, I lean back against the cab, crossing my arms. My cheeks are a little wet but fuck... it'll freeze up quick.
"You know Hadden... you should think of askin' me for some fuckin' help sometime..." Where did that come from? What the fuck am I talking about? Look what happened last time I tried to do something... disaster. But maybe... maybe... I just don't want him just relying on her.
I look towards Rosie, whatever she's doin, and bang a hand on the metal of the cab, "hey, sis! Let's get the fuck outta here!"
I'm lugging my shit into the mausoleum is what I'm doing... Silica's shout catches me by surprise when I'm about to open the door, and I slowly turn to face them. "I'm not going fucking anywhere – you guys wanna leave, be my fucking guest."
Then, without waiting for an answer, I'm heading in to give Jester's moms those meds.
Comments
Hard not to be skeptical at what Bond is saying, I just quietly complain, "yeah... a little..." And the fact that she's telling Rosie to take care of me is not what I want to hear. But other than that I keep my mouth shut and mostly keep glancing at Hadden.
What the fuck? We're all happy now? Not even the slightest bit curious who chopped her son's toes off? For fuck's sake! I look around the room at the faces of all these people I've inadvertently dragged into my shitty fucking decisions... Great.
I sigh dejectedly, Jester's harm weighing heavily on my conscience, and turn back to face Bond. "The meds don't work that way – they're an injection. I doubt Mel actually hurt Silica... Give me a minute..."
I turn to Hadden and tilt my head back to his truck. "Can you give me a hand with my shit outside?" He would know I'm not carrying enough to need help. This is an excuse to get him alone.
I'm kind of leaning against the wall, really out of sorts. Rub my temples helps a little, and Silica's watching me again with some unreadable look on her face. Gotta get my own shit together. I wonder if Lemma is in Underlake right now... can't think about home just yet.
"Yeah, Rossi, sure. I could use some air." I look at Silica to ask if she'd rather one of us stays with her, and my mouth half opens, inhale to start speaking... Then I remember maybe she doesn't want my help. I look away, glance back, head to the door. Hands in my pockets.
"We'll be right back with the meds, I say, mostly to the wall.
Yeah, of course Rosie doesn't think I got hurt, wouldn't give a shit if I was... but somewhere in the corner of my brain I did hear my sister telling her to leg go of me... didn't I? Or did I... imagine that too.
Hadden walks past on the way to the truck and he's looking at me all weird. I bite my bottom lip and look at him as he passes, my head turning to follow him. I must have freaked out... why's he lookin' at me like that.
And fuck... why the hell is he with my sister? My expression suddenly turns annoyed as they pass and go out the door and I lean heavily back against the wall, one leg bent with the bottom of my foot against the stone wall.
I can't help but rub at my wrist and be annoyed by the awkward silence.
Finally I glance over towards where Jester's layin out, "so he gonna be allright?"
Bond watches Rossi and Hadden leave, her expression still apologetic. She shoots Melancholy one more reproachful glance, but Mel is laying there, staring upwards at nothing.
You ask her about Jester, and she looks at you, shaking her head, "I hope so. His foot was stitched up well, but his head is messed up. His thoughts, I mean."
When I'm outside with Hadden alone I make a b-line for my bag, and produce a small crate of meds and syringes for Mel, then zip up my pack quick-like. I turn to Hadden as I toss it over my shoulder, "I'm sorry about all this... Silica, the mess in there, everything... If the bad shit you're facing down is really that bad, then I'll give you a hand... What is it, anyway? Who the fuck would wanna hurt you?"
Takes me a few seconds to decide if I even want to say anything more but I gotta, "whattya talkin' about? What the..." I gesture at Melancholy, "she say she wanna take my fuckin blood or some crazy shit..."
Outside, I watch the sky, not sure what I'm going to see. It's so quiet here. Rossi almost startles me, but I think I do an okay job of hiding it.
"Rossi... I'll be okay. Make sure you keep your apologies for those who really deserve. It's worth it, remember? Gently, kindly, I know she's on edge.
"This life will hand you enemies aplenty without having to work for them. Believe me." She can probably see I'm feeling sad, or down, or something, and I'm not directly talking about her and her sisters and Jester's moms. I do have a whisper of a smile when she thinks nobody would hurt me. Maybe I'm too useful to die, also? My smile gets a shade grimmer.
I kick some snow clear and sit down on the edge of some stone box, it's got steps.
"Merrell." I let it hang there in the open, she can connect the dots, or ask questions.
I frown when he mentions enemies piling up without effort... He's certainly got me there. I lean against the hood of the truck, and cross my arms to keep warm. I'm not frustrated or anything, just not really sure what to say to that... Then he drops Merrell's name, and my eyebrows lift.
Isn't that an interesting name... "Merrell?" I ask again, for clarification, "the fucker who runs Odyssey II?" That's... Not good. He's got some fucking jingle in his pocket, and he knows how to use it. I sigh loudly, and bite at the inside of my cheek. "What's your beef with him?"
Bond quirks her mouth for a second, trying to push away the irritation of the last few minutes so she can focus on you. She glances back to make sure Melancholy is still lying quietly. Sure that her lover won't attack again, she walks over closer to you. "Melancholy didn't want your blood, Silica. She senses your power. I do, too. You've got a very wonderful, and dangerous gift." She looks at you with a soft smile, like there's a kinship between you.
What do you do?
She approaches and that makes me nervous, I'm not exactly in the best state of mind here. I'm lookin' her in the face though, trying not to get spooked again. Kinship? I don't fuckin' feel it.
"You don't know what I got," I shake my head slightly. She's weirding me out a little too, "I got everythin' figured out... ok I just come here helpin' do your boy a favor and you bust out all this shit..." I raise my chin towards 'Mel.
I return to look into Bond's eyes and quietly say, failing to sound as confident as I want to sound, "you don't know me..."
Bond's kind face quirks a frown, maybe of disappointment? She almost moves to touch you, but hesitates, remains where she is, a safe distance for you. "I don't know you, no. But I know about what you can do. I know about your power, and how scary it must be... at least, it was for me, when I was your age." She looks back to Melancholy. "It was scary for her, too. It can mark you, Silica. It can take things from you."
Gritted teeth. "Family troubles, Rossi." My eyes are sharp and hard.
She keeps her distance, makes me feel a little surer of myself, I lower my foot to the ground. My mouth moves a little bit and I kind of look at her like I'm trying to say some smart ass thing but can't get the words together, "I... you..."
What the hell am I doing in here with these bitches? Suddenly I kind of snap a little. I'm not getting in her face really, but I'm not holding back either.
"Just... fuck you! You never been my fuckin' age! I don't need this fuckin' bullshit... fuckin' scary ass shit..." This all comes out as I start heading for the door. I look towards Jester for one more second but then I'm out of this hole.
I'm out the door, whatever the fuck they're doing out there I walk past Hadden and Rosie, through the graveyard and right up to the truck. I step up on the tire and all but throw myself into the bed to sit again up against the cab, arms crossed.
I look back towards the two one last time then loudly kick a foot against the edge of the truck bed and just kind of let out a frustrated cry.
Bond doesn't stop you. Jester's still out of it when you leave.
To Hadden and Rossi:
A very upset Silica comes out and... well, you read above. That's what she does.
Family troubles. Well ain't that a fucking bitch? I push off the car and slowly take a few leisurely steps over to him, keeping my posture non-threatening, my uncrossing my arms. "What kind of family troubles, Hadden? I'm ..." I sigh, "I'm trying to help here..." For all the fucking good I'll do.
That's when Silica comes storming out, and kicks Hadden's truck... I cross my arms defensively, and kind of tense up. I look between her and Hadden, kind of inviting Hadden to finish his thought if he's comfortable.
You and me both,as Silica lets out a shout. I look back to Rossi, she's tense but inviting.
"Rossi, some years back, Merrell murdered my dad. He took my mom to maintain control of Underlake and the Odysseyii. My guess is that he hasn't flat-out assassinated me yet because it'd look bad to my mom and the rest of folk." I look at the ground, kind of kick away some snow a little to get to the dirt. "I don't think she knows. I'm afear'd he aims to take out those around me. I think he's using Molotov so I make a move and die."
Deep breaths. Being in this place of the long dead isn't helping.
Well that's a sob story, isn't it? My eyes keep wandering over to Silica over there by the truck, kinda curious about what the hell happened in there... But if her behavior in the fucking truck was any indicator, she probably said something offensive and got kicked out. Part of me assumes she can take it... It's what we grew up doing: taking a bit of abuse.
I bite my cheek again, thinking... This is a bad idea — but Ross is what keeps me alive out in the drifts, so really this is just an eventuality... "So you want Merrell dead or something? I could talk to Molotov for you... Send him a message not to take work from Merrell anymore, or talk him down... Maybe onto your side... If you think that'd help." Really, I'm not sure why the fuck Merrell would want to kill Hadden... That doesn't make much sense. Given the way the last job we got from Merrell went down, I'm guessing that won't be a problem.
I can't tell if she's crossing her arms under her rack to distract me or what. I follow her look over to Silica... What the fuck happened down there before? Is happening? I pull myself up.
"I don't want Merrell dead exactly. I don't know what that would do to my mom." I glance over at Jester's moms' place, thinking of his momma wasting away and of his mom full of worry. "Do you think Molotov T. Gunlugger would listen to you about this thing? I hear he took down Carnation and is running Grease Park now. It's a big big bigass hairy mess. Molotov took responsibility for the Collapse. Over the radiowaves. Forty-two Underlakers died, and people know he works for me! I gotta deliver on this! I'm in a giant-ass shit sandwich, Rossi. I can't think straight and I'm putting my friends in crosshairs!" My whole little speech here ends near-shouting, but I don't want to aim it at Rossi or Silica. I squeeze my hands into fists, breathe, try to keep the anger and fear down.
"We gotta drop off these meds so we can get the fuck out of here." Maybe she can talk to Molotov, if he knows anything. Maybe I'll just stroll right on into Grease Park with a pistol and talk to Molotov direct, that'll take care of it all. My thoughts are black.
I purse my lips, and explicitly look over to my sister for a second... I'm not really as sharp as Hadden is, and I'm sure if he thinks something is going on, then he's probably right, but I can't just up and walk into Molotov's fucking home – especially in my current state. My best bet is to confront him on my own terms...
"Hadden... I need time to recover... I took a fucking beating out there... Can't this wait a while?"
I lean there against the cool cab of the truck. Well, I was gonna just sit there and mope until everyone was finished but the flatbed smells of fresh blood and I'm not patient enough to sit still that long. Glancing back towards Hadden and Rosie I see they're still fucking talking, Hadden looks pissed off or... something and he keeps lookin' at me.
Impatient, I stand and open up the sliding cab window, then hop up to pull myself through the window head first. My legs flappin' around behind me a second before slipping inside and out of sight.
"Sure, you take care of yourself." And it's sincere and relieved and somehow defeated at the same time. She pushed my hand away last time, so I won't try to touch her. But she can probably tell I could use the human contact.
I'll take the little crate of meds and head into Jester's moms' place.
I look over my shoulder and can see Silica up to something. Yeah, I got the truck keys in my pocket. I wonder if she's after my icecube stash. Great.
I hold onto the drugs for a minute when Hadden reaches for them, so that he has to look up at me. I feel myself shifting into an uncomfortable position out of habit — one that kind of flaunts my girls — and eyeing him just so... You know — like I'm trying to get him to listen to me? Maybe open up a bit? It works on the principle that guys are fucking perverts who'll do anything for pussy... But I catch myself, and feel fucking stupid. Hadden's not that kind of guy... Is he?
I reach out and grab his shoulder, then give him a level look. "Stay here a while... We'll figure something out."
...is Rossi trying to put the make on me? I blink a sec, confused, amused, happy for an instant. Talk about mixed signals. But I grab onto her hand as soon as she touches me, like I'm falling, squeeze her. It means more that she wants me to stay. And maybe not stay here here, but at least to stay around. She's got a strength to her, helps me keep it together.
I open my eyes and return her level look, a hint of an old, real, smile playing around my mouth. "Thanks, Rossi." I hold the moment.
"It's worth it, right?" And I'm agreeing with her. We all need some time to rest up.
I nod, "sure Hadden. Someone should probably talk to Silica... I doubt that should be me."
"Rossi," I say seriously, "It should be you. You're sisters. But not right this night, don't worry, I know. You both both need to want it." I'll squeeze her hand once more before I let it go.
Rossi can go bring the meds, or I will.
I'll go check on Silica.
Still pissed off from before I sit on the driver's side like I see them do, put my hands on the wheel and look out the glass. I lean way down to one side to look under, yeah... they use their feet a lot. I push the pedals a couple times which makes an unsatisfying squeaky sound.
Bored with this I turn in the seat, back against the door and my head against the glass, my feet up on the seat, knees bent.
"Too fuckin' hot in here..."
I wanna open the window.
I crunch my way up to the truck, I can see her purple dreads against the driver's side window. I know she could hear me if she's listening. When I get there, I tap on the glass like a visitor.
My hand's up on the rear-view mirror as he approaches, was takin' a look at myself, something I probably don't do often enough. I turn the mirror a little further to see him over my shoulder, tappin' on the glass.
Great... at least he doesn't look pissed at me.
I reach down with my left hand and roll open the window to let the back of my head drop back a couple inches to rest on the bottom of the window opening so I can look 'up' at him. I got shit I want to say but it's all fuckin' stupid shit makes no sense...
Instead I just say, "what?" I probably sound impatient.
I wonder if she can drive one of these? Great, she's already copping tude. Not going to play that.
"How you doing, Silica?" Not my best opener, granted, but I'm actually curious to know how she's really doing.
How am I supposed to fucking answer that? It's obvious he's getting all close to my sister, whatever... but...
"I hate this fuckin' place," I start... then hang with my mouth open for a second before sitting up on the seat and turning to face him through the window. I'm still breathing fast, coming down from you know... losing my shit inside the tomb. "So you... doin' crew biz' with Rosie now is that it?"
I'm holding back. Really tryin' to hold back... guess I default to pissed off whenever Rosie's involved.
"Yeah, it's getting to me. I didn't think it would, but it is. Just the scope of this place, so fucking peculiar how it used to be, everything..." I trail off, looking at the sky, at the stones, at the ice-covered sculpture. Sculptures. Imagine the jingle to make something like that. For the dead.
I turn back to her, funny how I'm out here freezing, and she's in there probably cooking. There's a distance between us. I'm searching her face, then she starts off on her sister.
"You know Rossi saved my ass something serious couple months back, right? Down at the Red Brick Road, I had a deal go south. Real south, like bullets inside south. Your sister faced down these assholes and kept my skin in one piece. You can't forget a thing like that." Speaking of not forgetting things, I do remember how I thanked her afterwards. "So I figure she might still be in the ass-saving business, right? I'm going to have to face Molotov soon."
I lean a little closer to her while I'm talking. I wonder if she'll bring it up a level, or if this is where we are now, small talk at a separation.
I start even before he finishes waving my hands in the air in front of my face almost like shooing away a bug, "wait.., wait up. Come on, that's bullshit. Rosie fuckin' saved your ass? No... my sister aint that fuckin' hard, Hadden. Rosie never saved fuckin' anything..."
No fuckin' way did he need her like that.
And we kind of talk over each other for a second until I hear him mention Molotov, "whoa... ok slow down..."
I open the door, pulling the lever with my hand then kicking it open, one foot now down on the door frame as I turn to half-face Hadden. I look him in the face, serious-like. I'm not bullshitting here, " you don't fuck with that, that shit is Rocks. Hadden, you just don't." My head shakes at the end almost unconsciously. Molotov... fuck.
"Upon my word. She's a hard bitch. Pulled my fine ass out of the fire. Much respect."
And now she's getting out when I mention Molotov. I carefully keep my hands still. Why does she care now?
"I know it's serious, Silica. I tried to tell you before. I'm low on choices."
I sit there lookin' out the open door at him. Can't quite get myself calm... here I am face to face with Hadden and we're talkin' about Molotov... fucking Molotov... and dying and shit. This aint right.
Hadden can see it in my face, there's so much going through my head, so much... I can't find the right words.
"This is fucked..." I bury my face in my hands, can't take looking into his amazing eyes any longer.
I want to hold her. Not in the mood for rejection again. She probably doesn't see It, but she might could guess something's up. "I know, I know." I look away, but it's all death here. I try the sky again, that's easier.
"We can drop it, talk about something else if you choose, Silica." I'll give her an opening, I hope she takes it. Probably won't, but maybe.
I look up at him for a moment, then suddenly I slide out of the seat and hop down from the truck, kind of in his face, but not really in a confrontational way. I look up at him, real close like in the face and spread my hands for a second, "consider it dropped..."
Then I step up on the door frame again and half jump up into the truck bed. Standing there, I lean back against the cab, crossing my arms. My cheeks are a little wet but fuck... it'll freeze up quick.
"You know Hadden... you should think of askin' me for some fuckin' help sometime..." Where did that come from? What the fuck am I talking about? Look what happened last time I tried to do something... disaster. But maybe... maybe... I just don't want him just relying on her.
I look towards Rosie, whatever she's doin, and bang a hand on the metal of the cab, "hey, sis! Let's get the fuck outta here!"
I'm lugging my shit into the mausoleum is what I'm doing... Silica's shout catches me by surprise when I'm about to open the door, and I slowly turn to face them. "I'm not going fucking anywhere – you guys wanna leave, be my fucking guest."
Then, without waiting for an answer, I'm heading in to give Jester's moms those meds.
"Yeah well fuck you too!" Standing up there in the truck bed I raise the finger towards the mausoleum.
Yeah, fuck her, I had enough of that bitch Melancholy, her sister, this whole fucking place...
"The hell am I gonna tell Poppy?" I whine to myself.
I wave a hand dismissively in Silica's general direction. I'm done taking her shit today.
Rossi heads inside with the meds.
--END SCENE--