Hadden and Silica,
After a ride across the ice on Wonk'ys sled, you split off from Rossi and head towards Roxy's to deliver the goods from Benton.
Hadden, your neck hurts something fierce, like lemon in a huge paper cut, makes it tough to talk, to swallow, just plain sucks.
Silica, you pointed out a few rough spots in the ice for Rosie, and she had to have seen that you're the expert up top out in the snow. Now you're heading into Roxy's. How do these girls treat you, or how have they treated you? I imagine it isn't so great, right? Do you know why?
Both:
It's snowing that wet, bitter snow that sticks to your face and slides down inside clothes. It's thick enough to make it rough to see too far by the afternoon when you come up to Roxy's. The wind is whistling, and most folks are bundled up. Most folks, other than you, Silica.
I assume you pull the sled up to park somewhere close, then head for the underground slope that leads into Roxy's. Trespass is outside, watching a few merchants coming in with some of the Sparekeys walking slowly behind. She gives you both a nod, then sends the Sparekeys over to take your crates and bring them in. "Haddy. Silica." She greets you both, "C'mon inside, we can settle up." She doesn't seem to have noticed your wound, Hadden.
Comments
Leaving Benton Harbor. Not going to go back. So much for fat jingle trade route. My thoughts are aswirl with people. Jax, Silica, Rossi, mom, K2, Tindy, Arbor, Squirrel, Slash, Lashfight, Roxy, Molotov.
I have definitely seen better days. And nights. I'm glad Silica's not driving like balls to the wall. I miss that speed, but I need an extra couple arms to hang onto the sled, onto her, onto my neck. Stings worse with the snow and slush and I'm glad my jacket's not soaked through with blood. The wind is helping to clear the drugs from my brain, but I'm feeling the aches and the strain in my joints and I'm still running on fumes from only a couple hours' sleep and I'm getting real real hungry.
Words are hard. I probably sound like I've been gargling sandpaper and glass. Feels that way. "Thanks, Trespass." Oh, I want a hot whisky but I'll regret it. Trespass is sharp, so even if I try to climb off the sled like nothing's wrong, she'd probably cotton to it. Maybe not these other Sparekeys. Who's here?
Roxy's girls don't treat me good, of course. But not worse than most. It's a place I been dragged a couple times to fuck, not so long ago when I wasn't quite so on top of things. Probably got me a reputation... they see guys treat me like shit and before long that's how they see me. But that's... well that's not me.
Riding in I'm worried about Hadden... about all that blood, about what he thinks... he feels weak, an arm around me as we ride... this isn't the same as the trip out there. Trip back... we're changed.
I'm there with him, again not holdin' him up or anything but I'm just hanging close. Not sure if he notices the difference but there's a difference... I'm closer than before. He's got my eye.
I return a nod to Trespass and keep my mouth shut... for now.
I wonder what it does for Silica's reputation to be seen with me. I turn my head and regard her for a sec, then back to Trespass. I can walk, but it's obvious I need sleep and rest.
I wonder how Serene is doing. I'm not up for a visit. I sure don't feel like a top earner.
"You guys need a place to... sleep?" Trespass asks as you follow her inside. It's warm in here, like always. Roxy keeps the boilers going. Trespass continues, "We got a couple spares, can knock it off what we owe for the delivery, cheap." She remembers Red Brick, seeing you two, chatting with you, Hadden. She seems almost cordial. Well, for Trespass.
Inside the merchants are a bit ahead of you, looking over the ladies who are available. Hadden, you see Serene in the lineup. Oh, and both of you see K2. She's dressed in some skimpy black leather jacket and fucking hot pants. She hasn't seen you guys. She looks absolutely terrified, of something.
Trespass is headed to one of the railcars, which must be the spare place she mentioned.
What do you do?
I give Trespass a tired look like girl doncha know. I put my hand back to my neck. Maybe keep pressure on it, feel better. Rossi...
"Sleep sounds mag. Food, maybe? Nothing fine." Short sentences seem to help. Less air maybe. I remember Red Brick, too. Aw fuckballs, Never Summer is probably here. Close my eyes, worried. Clear that shit. Try to remember what the what. Wonder about Molotov. About Roxy. Focus back to the here. Roxy got a doctor, right?
I give a smile and a little nod to Serene, but I don't want to queer her gig. Also, I look like absolute shit warmed over.
Mmm, dat ass. Wait, what the actual fuck? "K2?" I stop short.
Sucks seeing Hadden a couple steps down from his usual self. He's still him but kinda... tired.
As we walk in I'm kinda close to him, but there's eyes here and some of them think I'm shit, for sure... remind myself to keep my distance. We ain't fuckin' together, right? I'm just freelance crew right?
But K2's here, first thought is shit... I don't wanna see her... but she's lookin' off too. I know that look... scared. I've worn it plenty.
Hadden's heading over... I keep close enough to hear and if she looks up she sees me lookin' but I ain't like right there on Hadden's arm or some shit.
As you approach the lineup of Roxy's girls, all standing by the office, the merchants ignore the pair of you, Serene gives you a little smile in return, but then she sees you, gets how rough you look and almost says something, but then somebody asks her a question and she's back on task.
K2 is in between a girl who's much bigger, a little on the plump side, and another girl with a hawkish nose. She's prettier than both of them, but she looks so frightened, so out of place in these skimpy clothes. When the pair of you get closer, she looks over, distracted by the movement, some excuse to not look at the men who come over to paw at her, touch her shoulder, or make snide comments about her to their friends.
Silica, you hear one of the girls say loudly in your general direction but supposedly to one of her friends, "You feel a draft? Something icy around here." It's Blizz, the dyed red-haired girl you've seen here a few times before. She was pretty once, but now she's worn. "Tress, better get the riff raff out, she might be poaching! Don't want nobody to get icedick."
K2 steps behind the line-up, moving like maybe she's going to just up and leave, get away from you two. But then she takes a couple quick steps and comes up behind Blizz, and grabs her by her hair, snapping her head back, then tossing her to the hard, cracked concrete. "Shut up, Blizz. Nobody wants your ugly mouth for talking anyways!"
Trespass and The King are moving over to stop a potential fight, but the merchants are watching with much interest. This seems to have interested Crony, the Crossover big wig, he likes them fiesty .
What do you do?
What the fuck am I doing? I'm kinda stalking around the place watching Hadden like he needs watching. Hope he hasn't noticed.
The girls spit shit at me, whatever... doesn't bother me that much right? I'm just about to give Blizz the bird when Kaykay jumps her instead and forgettin' all the shit that's happened... I mean... fuck! I laugh, "the fuck! Sit that stanky bitch down!" Kaykay got her good!
I laugh, briefly, like it's the funniest thing I ever seen, but also serious shit right? Got me suddenly more on guard, gettin' a little close in on those bitches... keeping those fuckers in my eyes...
But then... I stop... eyes on Kaykay, "wait a shitfuckin' second...." I say it to Kaykay, like... seriously. The fuck is she doin' here? Like this?
I look at Hadden, he must be wonderin' too.
"A jingle for that one!" Crony announces. "The new one. I want her. One night, one jingle!"
Trespass claps her hands once, sharply. K2 chills, because she's more scared of Trespass than skinny little King. She's not meeting your eyes, Silica. Not looking at you, either, Hadden.
It is K2. And Crony took my line. Quick as I can manage, low, intense: "Trespass. How much for dibs over him?" She's gotta remember that K2 and Silica both were with me at Red Brick. Shit, how long ago was that? A week? Less? I wonder if K2 knows about Oakley.
There's no way I'm letting K2 out of my sight. Not happening.
I feel my eyes harden and my jaw work through the pain. I don't blink.
Fuck.
My face is still wearing an amused expression, but I ain't feeling it. Keep it cool, Silica, let Hadden handle this shit.
I raise a hand like you do when you wanna calm somethin' down, timidly, not really having anything to do with this shit... keeping an eye on the bitch on the ground, for one thing... and on the fucking king.
"Hey... hey... ok..." I just quietly say, trying to bring this down a level or two.
Blizz is not picked. She stands up, looks over at you, Silica, "Skinny runt, the fuck you gotta cause trouble?" K2 stamps her foot on the concrete, and Blizz flinches, ambles off back to wherever she stays.
After a few moments, Trespass comes back, but Crony doesn't. She looks to The King, says, "Give Hadden the new girl." Gives you a nod, looks to you, Silica, nods, too.
K2 swallows, looking down at the ground as she walks over. "Fuck, Hadden. I didn't want this..." She's not looking at you, Silica.
Silica, in your mind, you feel her complete elation at seeing you again. Mixed with her shame and unease at the situation.
Watching Crony and Blizz both. Just in case.
I nod thanks to Tresspass, sincere, fistbump. Got my other hand at my neck. I feel relief that K2's okay, that it didn't go further. Unless it has already. That fearlight in K2's eyes. Fuck, I miss Oakley. Waves of guilt and memory are inside me, I tamp it down. Keep it together.
I can't imagine what I look like, how I sound. "K2. Missed you. Sleep, food, then talk?" And I really do mean just sleep, no gymnastics or drama. I'll just pay for a private room for the three of us if I can.
Gonna get her out of this.
As you stand there at the doorway, K2 hesitates, "I can... take the floor." She's got a hand on the wall, which is a painted dark gray on top of concrete blocks. "I can get you food, water, whatever. I don't want you guys to lose out on your... jingle."
Tense as shit... ok, Hadden got this.
Blizz is bein' all bitchy and I shoot her the finger I been saving for her as I turn to go, wiggle it a little bit for effect. "This place sucks..." I mutter to myself, shakin' my head... coulda ended up here myself easy.
I wait and walk behind Kaykay, mostly cause I don't want her lookin' at me. I keep the corner of my eye on our backs until the door's good and shut.
Once we're inside I toss my shit to one side and lean back against the door with a relieved exhalation. "Why can't any-fuckin'-thing just be easy?"
Kaykay makes her generous announcement. Fuck yeah she can take the floor, I have a little dubious look on my face and I have this feeling of blame directed at her... but ain't it me that fucked her up? Shit that realization doesn't feel good.
"Where's your fuckin' mom? You don't need this shit..." I say, not really looking at her.
I roll my eyes specifically at both of them in turn, exaggerated, exasperated. I don't care about getting the sheets dirty, they've seen worse. If I get into a bathtub, I'll probably fall asleep and drown, I suppose. I drop my go-bag, the jacket and pistols, really need to check everything's still there. I don't care, I strip to longjohns without art. Look at K2 to see what she reacts to the blood and wounds. I walk to the bed.
"Food later. Story now." I look sharp at them both. "Don't kill each other."
Then I lie on the bed, and let out a sigh and a moan of contentment. Watch the girls sleepily. Wiggle my toes, make sure they're still there.
I could sleep for a day.
She walks over to grab a pillow from the bed, then puts it on the floor near the door. "I'm good with this, okay? It's just fucking. Just jingle. Rox is a good enough boss."
Pull the other one.
Something's don't jive. The terror? The shrinking? A "good enough" boss? I raise an eyebrow questioningly and look dubious, study her motions.
(Rolled: 2d6+1. Rolls: 5, 5. Total: 11)
I'm all but immobile on the bed. Move my hand, enjoy a little luxe. Shit, not even a few hours ago I was strapped to a table about to buy it. Same position, different circumstances. I shoot a little look to Silica, wondering how she's doing. Her father is dead.
But I grab K2 with my gaze, arrest her with my eyes. Don't play a player. I try to pitch my voice open, but I dunno if if comes across. "Really?"
[OOC, spending 1/3 hold: Is she telling the truth?]
Handplant and Hitec know she's here. She is trying to get her own work (since you shut her out). She's far from good with this. Roxy has given her the ultimatum - fuck for barter or GTFO.
K2 licks her lips, looks around, "Yeah. New job, on my own." She looks over to you, Silica, lingering. "Food. What do you guys want?" She walks over to the door, about to leave, "Some meds for your neck, too, right? I can get gauze, some pain stuff."
I slowly let a breath out and slide a few inches down with my back against the door. What a fuckin' day... aint got the energy.
As Kaykay goes on about how good this shit is (who am I to argue, ain't like I haven't done anything worse) I cross the room to sit on the edge of the bed near Hadden's hip.
I quietly say, "I should probably... uh... take a look at that shit... you need some stitchin' up, Haddie..." But Hadden then questions Kaykay and I turn to also look up at her.
I would really really enjoy like a sponge bath and some doctoring from the two of them. But K2... she's don't want to be here. This ain't her. Why's she need the jingle so bad? Hasn't been that long since the trainyard. Oh, Handplant, I can't leave her here. Sweet hotpants, though. My eyes are swimming about the room and my joints ache.
Lazy but real, an effort to focus. "Need work?"
Of course, her gaze flickers to you again, Silica. She says quick, like she needs to push it out, "I'll get the stuff, be back."
Hey Silica, there's a hint of blue around her eyes. It's subtle, you just picked it up.
She heads out the door.
I don't want her gone.
I tilt my head at Silica, look at her questioningly, quick flick to the closed door. I feel like I'm gutted like a gull, way not like K2 to not react.
As she leaves my gaze falls down at her feet, then the floor as she closes the door. Yeah, yeah I know... "she's getting hooked on that shit ice..." I say through a breath, shaking my head just a little.
I look at Hadden's face. First time in a little while. He looks pale.
"I did this to her, Haddie... why's everyone end up fucked?" Everyone I get with, I mean... everyone I give a fuck about. And I'm looking at Hadden... and you know... he's fucked too. I did this too.
I swallow and start opening Hadden's shirt, trying not to show how much I blame myself for all of this shit.
"Just... just lemme take care of this..."
I raise my eyebrows. Ice? K2? Explains some.
I shake my head, we're not end up fucked. Quirk my lips, tired smile. "Not fucked. Still kickin'. We gonna rock." Fucked happens and passes, it's not the end less'n you choose.
I close my eyes at her cool soft hands. Feels good. I furrow my brow, the bloody clothes pinching at the dried seeping blood as she pulls 'em, and my ribs still hurt when I take a deep breath. I probably make a weird gasp sound.
He almost gets me to laugh, "still kickin huh?"
But I bite my lip and concentrate on what I'm doing. Get his shirt off, or down, or whatever, I run a cool hand along Hadden's chest, pushing the fabric carefully out of the way... I stop there, my palm on his skin and just look at it.
The clean surgical cut in his chest a reminder of what father is... was capable of. Gives me pause. He's really gone. Really fuckin' gone... I don't feel anything for him. There's no loss... just... a discomfort. A sense that things are different and I don't know different how yet.
I look at him, mouth open to say something that I don't say. A pause before I quietly say, "ain't so fuckin' bad... just gotta clean up..." I try to sound encouraging. I look around for some water, soap?
Hey MC, this need stitches or anything?
I bite my lip with some amount of worry, but at least it gives me something I can do. Get my mind off the shit going on outside that door.
I rub his chest a little bit, just moving my fingers.
"Haddie I gotta sew ya the fuck up," I look at his face, an encouraging little nod. "Believe it or not I... kinda know what I'm doing... alright? Take care o'ya."
Done this before. And this is a much easier cut... yeah. Just gotta clean up and do it.
Do you carry thread and needle?
K2 will be gone for a bit more.
Yeah, maybe I had the presence of mind to grab some basics from the clinic on our way out? We didn't really see all that go down.
I get my stuff together, clean water, some salt if i got it, thread, needle. "You good, Haddie? Need a drink in ya? I sure fuckin' do..." I try to smile... more nervous than I should be.
Because it's Hadden.
There drinks to be had? He could probably use one.
A breathy, "Aah-iite." Shake head no, liquor plus drugs be bad for Haddens.
If it hurts overmuch, I'm gone. Hanging on by an edge here. Slow blinks.
Fucken not gonna lose K2 here. Molotov, Oakley...
Too tired to mourn. Want to.
Her blue blue eyes.
Hadden's losin' it. I been talking to him like he's all here but... yeah, he's gone. I smile a little thin smile, sitting next to him. For a little bit I run my hand gently along his cheek, tracing my fingers along his skin. For some reason I look at the door like I'm sneakin' something. Hey how many chances I get?
Then I get to business. I got thread and needle, water... no salt. That's ok, the cut's surgical, it ain't gonna be too mangy.
I'll rinse it good with water blotting with my old shirt I ain't worn for a while, tipping him up a little... he's fuckin' heavy, and rinsing across the wound.
Then... yeah I'll get to doin' what needs doing.
Sure, use up whatever... Haddie's worth it right?
I don't know what to say to him really as I sit back down, needle in hand. "Ok... let's do this."
"This would be easier if you'd fuckin' sleep you know?" I think to myself. He's all but sleeping already. I touch a hand to his forehead, to feel him... of course he feels burning hot so that doesn't do shit for me... whatever.
I'm just gonna do what needs doing, careful like.
Hadden, you fade in and out for a bit there. Been a long, long day, you know? The pinprick of the needle fades into some numbness, and Silica's touch is delicate. Especially considering all that she's doing.
K2 comes back in the room with a tray of hot food, noodles of some kind with a rich creamy sauce and some vegetables. Two bowls of it. Plus a small box with some med supplies. "Gauze and pain killers," she confirms as she puts it on the bed.
She walks over to pull the single wooden chair over to the bed, then sits the tray down. Pours some light wine into glasses, "Sorry it's not water, we only have the tap and it's shitty. This wine's canoe-sex, so you should be golden." She steps back from the food and the trays, sits down cross-legged on the floor and watches you.
Silica, the little box has enough gauze to bind Hadden's chest and cover his neck. Some binders, too. Not enough to heal him, but should make it harder for the wounds to open back up. The painkillers are strong stuff, will knock him out soon.
Got the thread wrapped around one hand, needle gripped tight. My face tense in concentration as I do this. He's nodded off, which is great, I don't have to worry about him hurting and moving and making me stress and fuck up... it's better this way.
K2 comes back, making me pause, though I don't look. I just nod as she sets down the stuff. I do shake my head no slightly, "no meds... Haddie don't want 'em... he don't need 'em now."
The stew smells good... my hand's shakin' a little. I need to rest, too, up all night, cross the lake twice... and it ain't been easy going. But it has to wait, I comment, "your mom really fuckin' knows you're here?"
I don't believe it.
The stew, if you try it, is very spicy. One bowl is not hot, pretty much room temperature.
"What happened to Hadden?" she asks quietly, like she thinks he's asleep.
I smell something good, half-remembered, and some food. Breathe. Sleep or eat? Sleep, maybe.
I almost tell her some shit about going home but really... none of my business? Is it? Haddie'll tell her. She'll listen to him right? I ain't gonna tell her too hard what to do with her fuckin' self... don't I hate it when someone gets up in my business?
I keep working, and answer as I pull thread, "had some trouble doin' business West-side... it's all good. Fucker that cut him..." I swallow, that's my father. My voice turns suddenly more serious, "that fucker's wasted."
She don't need to know the details.
"I'm glad you're okay, Silly." K2 says tentatively, not moving, still looking right at you.
I almost laugh, ironically saying, "you really think I'm ok?" But I'm not really saying it for her. More for myself.
I break off the thread, almost done, and look around the room a second before I look at her, "we all gotta find a fuckin' place... right? Don't take shit from nobody, right Kaykay?"
I mean that bitch outside. Surprised to see Kaykay takin' it to her so hard. Really surprised.
K2 nods, but she doesn't smile about it or anything. Her face is twisted up, torn, indecisive. She's half leaning towards you, still sitting on the floor, "You an Haddy seem close. Are you..." she swallows, "Are you happy?"
I look at her and answer without thinking, "you know we aint... we ain't like that." I close up his shirt, gently... leaving it a little open.
I lean down to look at his face, make sure he's sleepin' or whatever. Then exhausted, I slide off the bed and onto the floor, leaning my head back against it. What the fuck are we like? I don't know... haven't had time to think about shit like that.
"Kaykay no bullshit... we're... somethin' ok? I don't fuckin' know what."
I look kind of at my feet and wipe my bloody hands.... seems like I always got bloody hands.
K2 follows your eyes, then pushes herself up off the floor. At some point she'd removed her boots at the door, and her jacket is laid to the side, too. She's in those little hot pants and her bra. She pads over to the sink and runs the water for a bit, then rummages around under the sink until she finds some old rags, and wets them.
She comes back over to sit by you, wet rags in hand. She settles down on her knees, her feet sideways. Without saying anything, she carefully takes your left hand, and starts wiping the blood away with the rag. It's soft, but she keeps focused on just your hands, not roaming, not pushing for anything more. She senses the boundary. You feel how much she wants from you.
After a minute, she switches to take your right hand, and washes it as well. Then, she sits back, letting you have your hands back. The water made them colder, which is good. She looks at you with those blue-shaded eyes, "I missed you, Silly."
This is fucking weird.
She washes my hands... maybe she just wants to touch me, I don't know. I don't like it, but I'm too tired to argue. I just lean back and let her do her thing. I need it, and it don't feel bad... just the closeness weirds me out.
I don't want to say something too harsh. She's just gettin' by right? Same as anyone. All I can say is, "good to be fuckin' back in Chi-town." Truth is I hate this place... but it's no worse than any other.
I rub my face with my wet hands, cooling off. All that blood... Hadden's blood. He needs to eat... I think to myself. Eat somethin' with sugar. But... fuck those are father's words in my head aren't they? He taught me this shit.
I'll wait for Hadden, to eat. And I don't think I could stand right now even if I wanted.
Probably I sleep.
-------------------------
Some time later, Hadden, you wake up. Not with a start, just feel rested and your body rouses. You're lying on a soft bed and you're alone.
Raising your head, you see the back of Silica's head, she fell asleep sitting up against the mattress. K2 is lying on the floor, on her side, her head on the pillow she dropped earlier. K2's scooted herself where she's curled around Silica, her right hand on Silica's right thigh, her own legs grazing Silica's left thigh. It's like the contact is as much as she can get away with without waking Silica up.
K2's awake, lying there quietly watching Silica. She's been crying, it's obvious. Her nose is still red, her eyes are, too. But the tears aren't coming now, she must have cried and stopped at some point. She looks completely lost in Silica for a moment, but then she sees you move, looks up at you like she's been caught. She freezes, caught between instinct to move away and the utter lack of desire to stop touching her.
What do you do?
I had dreams. Not good ones. Dreams of people I miss, who I've let down. The shimmer behind my eyes. Running and out of breath, but not running from. Running to.
I wake, and it's like veil has lifted from my brain. I wiggle my toes and fingers, roll my shoulders, neck, hips. Things creak and pop satisfyingly. Feels like the drug has run its course, and I need to piss like forever.
I sit up, take an elbow, almost regular and effortless, like I haven't been nearly paralyzed and carved into giblets. I touch my bandages, gingerly, unfamiliarity. It's almost like they belong to someone else. Neck is still verrrrrry tender and stingly.
I look at K2. she looks wanty and scared... I make a little reassuring noise sound then wave with my hand it's okay.
I sit up all the way, a little lightheaded. Close my eyes, hand on my neck, breathe. Relax, center my brain.
"K2... what the what?" Am I whispering to ease my voice or talking low to not wake Silica or using soothing tones to keep K2 from running? I feel terribly guilty. Still thinking of that fear in her eyes, and the last time I saw her after Red Brick, giving her the keys. So much has changed and it hasn't been that long.
She looks up at you, the left corner of her mouth quirking a bit, like it wants to frown of its own volition. "I can't stop thinking about her. I can't explain it, I'm sorry. I'd do anything. Anything... I just want her so bad. To want me back. Love me. Me. I'd share, I don't care, it's okay. I just..."
Her shoulders slump, defeated. She knows it's hopeless.
Still testing my voice. "She's her own thing, wild. Just like you." I stand up, stretch big as a bear, yawn like my head's going to fall off. A thought strikes, and I stare at them entwined. "Like me."
Loosely aware my shirt's open and feel vaguely ashamed that K2's seeing me wounded. I feel like Handplant's watching me through her eyes. "It's good to see you again, K2." A pause. "I want you not here." I'm looking at her level, serious, offering, wanting, worried, a race of feelings. Serene, Nini, Never Summer.
"You should keep the hot pants, though." Deadpan, but funny.
K2 makes a "Pffft," noise when you compliment her hot pants. She shrugs off the but about you wanting her not here. "If you want me not here, then let Silly sell me some ice and give me work... I got nothing else." She looks back down at Silica, drawn to her, even now.
"I want her so bad, Hadden. More than ice. More than food.... more than air." She swallows, reaches out a hand to touch Silica's hair lightly. She moves a little in response, and K2 pulls her hand back, afraid of waking her. "I wish I'd stayed with you, Hadden." She looks up, the words are serious. "I wish I hadn't fallen for her. I hate her, Hadden. And I love her. I'm all twisted up inside."
She blinks hard a few times, wipes at her cheeks with the back of her hand, "What can I do?" The question comes out strangled, desperate.
I fit and say a few quiet words through my sleep, I dream... bad dreams no doubt after all that's happened. Hopefully I won't remember.
I don't sigh. "Work I got. There's that whole trainyard, remember?" As for the ice, fuck that shit in its tiny little ear. She don't want ice, she wants the icewalker. I don't think it's too late. Her eyes are still K2. She's my crew, I'm going to get her off the ice."You got plenty, you stick with me." I don' t like being dumped and I figured she'd be back to me, one way or another.
I fall on the noodles and stew, suddenly ravenous. It's not hot, but whatever, it's still spicy. I just cooked something like it for Silica, didn't I? Her words float back to me. I did somethin' to Kaykay... I made her crazy... I get a hint of something behind my eyes, not sure what the fuck.
K2, wishing she chose me, asking for help. "Come sit." I nod my head next to me on the bed. Keep looking at K2. Gots to separate them for a sec so she can focus on me. I half chuckle, wasn't that long ago she wanted to pay me for a romp. Now what the hell twist is this?
K2 rises slowly, heads over to sit by you. She glances back down at Silica, but then her eyes are on you. "Hadden... how did it all get so fucked up?"
I figure she's not talking about the Freeze.
I take her hand. "It's people," and I smile, not unkindly. "Makes life interesting. Simple can get nice and boring... like eating peanut butter every day for a month, right?" I look at her hand in mine, thinking about old times. I rub my thumb just twice like hello. "But it don't stay fucked up, does it? Ya gotta run the gauntlet to get out the other side."
"I knew you needed to run for a bit, do some soul searching." I glance at Silica. "You might need some help with that." And I mean K2's Silica craze. I search K2's pretty eyes.
[OOC: spending 2/3 hold. What does she wish I'd do?]
K2 looks down at your hand, watching where your bodies meet. It seems to calm her a little. "Hadden, it hurts. I miss being with you, it made me happy." She glances at Silica, "This just... it aches. Why won't she let me in? What did I do wrong? I... I love her, Hadden. It has to be love, you know?" She looks up at you, looking at your eyes, searching for something, some answer, some solace.
She wishes you'd make Silica be with her. Or coax Silica into it, share Silica with her, anything. She likes you, Hadden, that hasn't faded. But it's a small song in a wing tunnel.
I read her calm and try to capture it. Just holding hands. Choose my words carefully. "I think Silica's scared and confused with you. I don't think you will sort it out with ice or running with Roxy." I wonder if there's another way to figure it out... It's on the edge of my brain, dancing and green.
K2's still got that hint of perfume she wears. It really hits me. "We were pretty good together. Could be again, you know." I let that hang there.
Quietly, "If you want jingle, why go to Roxy?"
K2 sighs a little when you mention that you could be good together. She leans into you a little, moves her head to rest lightly on your shoulder. But she's still watching Silica as she does it.
"I didn't go to Roxy exactly." K2 admits, "Mom and I got into a big hissy about ice, and I left. I went looking for uhm... for you and Silly, ran into some Cs. Never Summer showed up and cut them down, brought me here." She raises her head to look at you again, "Molotov gave me some ice, and Rox treated me really nice. I thought, you know, maybe if this worked for you, maybe it'd work for me.... but it's pretty scary." She looks down at your chin, a bit embarrassed by it.
Warm girl, on me, nice. Totally smell her perfume.
Get a little tense anger in my back, K2 with Never Summer and Molotw T. Gunlugger and Roxy.
I'll tilt her head up to look me full in the face. "I'm getting out of that gig. Haven't worked it in ages."
K2 looks up at you, and she's responding to your touch. She's been aching for some kindness for days, something that didn't feel like a price tag is attached. "Well..." she says quiet, barely above a whisper. "You're my first. Customer." She smiles, reaching a delicate hand up to touch an unwounded part of your chest.
To Silica:
In your dreams, K2 is sleeping with Hadden, looping puppet strings from you around him.
I clasp her hand, kiss her cheek once. My eyes have a bit of hardness to the edges, but I'm still me, still tender with her. "Don't have to be business, remember?" Not going to like this. I sigh.
Not so long ago, she trusted me absolute. Something has changed, and I can't stop thinking about Silica's words of worry, about the green rivershimmercurtain when we spend that time at Backside Misty's. Very different here at Roxy's. I close my eyes, thinking about what was.
K2 starts kissing your face, then working her way down to your shoulder, your chest. If you don't stop her, she's going to start working off your clothes, start making good on her "promise", saying, "Okay. It isn't business then."
Mmm. I keep my eyes closed briefly, feel her.
I stop her. I'm in no shape for gymnastics. "Rain check. I just got sewed up." I point to my neck wound. "Don't want to bleed out." I look at Silica's sleeping self, consider.
I want to reach for the shimmer. Peel back the aurora. Read the conversation. Maybe if i was touching both of them?
What time is it, anyway? I look to the sky. Thinking about getting paid and GTFO. Too many feels here. Set it aside. Focus.
Any other day where I didn't have my throat cut open and we'd have a different conversation in a bed. Tugs at me to let her down because Hadden. But yeah, I want to see her off to sleep in a bit of luxe. Just sit, hold her hand, hum a little nothing sound.
When she's asleep, when they both are, I sit in that happy alert quiet, listening to their breathing and the random weird sounds from the rest of the joint. Finish off the food, thoughtful like. I need to try this.
Then I touch them both, hand and head and leg, close my eyes and reach out for the aurora and the conversation behind the shimmer.
(Rolled: 2d6. Rolls: 5, 3. Total: 8)
Touching each of your loves, Silica and K2, but not all of your loves, of course, you look for the shimmering sight that sometimes gives glimpses of layers underneath.
You feel the connection between them. It's a two way street, but each path is wholly different from the other. From K2 to Silica, you feel craving, need, want, desire, addiction. Silica's blood, her sweat, her spit, her cum, all of it K2 needs more than anything else in the world. She doesn't understand, she doesn't know why, but it is a physical and mental affliction. Until she breaks it, or until it is broken, Silica will continue to be her world.
The path to K2 from Silica is wrought with guilt, remorse, confusion, fear and obligation. Silica is torn, as she's told you. You know her words, her concerns are true.
As the aurora fades, you see one more love: Tindy. Sitting in the cold room, all alone, her belly full of new life, her hopes dashed, mind retreating into the recesses of her last bits of sanity. She thinks on the father of her child. She thinks on the two men who could be the one. Who could it be? Her confidant and lover Hadden? Or the light-hearted dalliance Jester?
While opening yourself up to the maelstrom, it gets to hear your thoughts as well.
Who do you wish was the father of Tindy's child would be, Hadden?
To Silica:
In your dreams, you hear Hadden's answer.
I watch the connections. I can't believe I see something. I look guiltily to the door as though someone will come in and catch me. If K2 is bone afied addicted to Silica, maybe she does need to be locked up in the sub and go off her drug. I stroke her hair, touch her sleeping face. And Silica, Silica. I'm drawn to her, but addicted? I frown lightly and consider. Touch her hand, her soft fingers. I watch them both dream. Are they dreaming of each other?
Oh, Tindy.
I try to let her know I'm still here, I haven't forgotten, but maybe what I see isn't so, but I know it is. Fucking Underlake. Here's another of my loves to pull out of a hole. This is a big one.
I wish I was the father. Some of it is hope, some of it is arrogance and pride, some of it is desire for Tindy, some of it is to slap Merrell in his stupid impotent face, some of it is for Rossi, some of it is just wanting to be a dad. I think about Tindy and K2 and Em-Six-Teen. And Rossi. And Silica. I chew on my lip.
Sleep's gonna find me soon. I can feel it.
--END SCENE--