Hmm. Don't know how to respond to that. I procrastinate by opening Scanner Radio on my phone and dialing in to the local police. Anything on the Police Scanner about the Andrews?
After some patience, you pick up some chatter. It's all side conversations, no names. A couple of cops talking about the murder without talking about it.
"...so Tad's got no idea how he burned up?" one male voice says.
"Nope. Burned to a crispy fritter, and nothing else, except what he touched on his way down." a female voice answers.
"That's some Ripley's shit, man." the first guy says.
Shit. Volume's low, but I'm pretty sure Mom and Heather heard that. "Sounds bad, huh? Wonder what went on..." I wonder about Amanda, whether she's okay. "What the heck?" Mom's in the car, after all... can't use profanity.
The rest of the drive is uneventful, your sister busy texting others, ignoring you. Speaking of ignoring people, Jasmine doesn't text back.
Every one of your morning classes are abuzz with "what happened at the Andrews house?" You're constantly hit up by classmates for details, people poring over what you saw. How do you handle it generally?
At lunch, Eileen is sitting with someone from her Chem lab, a junior named Eloi. He's from Manila, a short guy who's super smart. Eileen waves you over though, makes with the introductions.
"Nice to meet you, Benny," Eloi says as he offers a hand. "Eileen says you're her BFF."
I don't mention what I heard on the scanner, and when people ask I just tell them that I saw an ambulance and the coroner's van. I stay out of the speculation as much as I can.
At lunch, I give Eloi a smile and take his hand for a shake. "Her Big Flatulent Friend? Eileen, that's not very nice. Nice to meet you anyway, Eloi." I'm fine with small talk. Today's almost-food is tacfauxs. Y'know, they call them tacos, but who knows what's really in them?
Eloi chuckles good-naturedly at the acronym humor. Eileen gives you a shrug when Eloi is facing away from you, like "what can I do?". Small talk it is, no chat about burned corpses while Eloi's around.
Turns out, Eloi is into some stuff you dig. He starts talking about movie-making, "Yeah, I've got a Vimeo channel rocking, it's bilingual, both Filipino and English stuff. So I have to subtitle it for... you know, Americans. Do you like horror movies and shorts, Benny?"
Eloi grins, happy to hear your interest, "Body horror stuff mostly." He pauses, looking around, then leans in, "Did one last month about a sex change gone wrong, it was siiiick. I do some pretty involved work with... you know, fake skin and blood, I don't want to bore you, but it looks pretty real. Made my lighting guy sick."
He sighs, "But that was back in Manila. Have to start all over here."
"Cool. Maybe next week sometime we can do some 'you show me yours, I'll show you mine." That is, if I make it to next week without either Nightmares, Andrewses, or Dad killing me. "What brought you from Manila, Eloi?"
"Mom's a corporate trainer," Eloi says as he sits back in his seat. He's pretty short, but he has this confidence that makes him seem taller. "She works for a company called Cognizant. See, a decade ago, American companies were outsourcing all of their call center work to India. Then India became too expensive, so they came to the Philippines. Now, all the customers are pissed off at anyone with an accent, so they moved the work back," he does air quotes, "On Shore, and my mom's the most badass, and cheap trainer they could find. So now... I'm here." He shrugs, like he doesn't mind.
He sums it up with, "America's not so bad. Your food is shitty, though."
Eileen says, "Loy, this isn't food. It's a food-like substance."
I chuckle. "So... you're mother's been onshored? Hey, don't worry too much about the food. I'm sure Eileen and I can point you to some food that's even worse than you can imagine."
Eloi shrugs, "I don't know about that, man. I did a short once about death Cheerios that included some sick stomach explosions." Eileen blanches a little, and Eloi laughs, "Sorry. Anyways, point away."
He'll chat about food with you for a while, then Eileen interjects with, "Abrupt subject change alert. So Benny, what's up with the Andrews? I saw the ambulance, but then I had to get my stupid brother to school for some project thing."
Well, it had to be coming, right? Ugh. "Ah. Well, I don't know much more than that. Saw the coroner's van just before Mom decided it was time to drag us away from staring across the street and get us to school. And..." I look around, lower my voice. "Eloi, not a word, okay? But I opened up that police scanner app? And they were talking about someone burning up."
That reminds me. I have Eileen's old phone in my pocket.
Eloi nods when you swear him to secrecy, eyes wide in excitement at being included. Eileen listens close, leaning forward. She nods, like you're confirming something, not shocking her, "I heard that! Just figured it was bravo sierra." Then a thought crosses her mind, "Hey. How are you installing aps on my old flip? Haxorz?"
The loudspeakers in the cafeteria squawk to life, "Attention students." It's the guidance counselor, Harris. "At the bell, we're going to have an upper class assembly. All juniors and seniors, please process to the auditorium at the bell. I repeat, all juniors and seniors, please proceed to the auditorium at the end of this period. Thank you."
The cafeteria explodes with chatter as soon as Harris announces the assembly. They all think that the Andrews family is dead. Eileen and Eloi don't say anything, just looking at each other, and you.
"Umm... Yeah, well, about the phone, Dad got me the S5, but with a twist. He had them preinstall some spy app that lets him check where I am whenever he wants." I give Eileen a look, like, you see why that's a problem?. Pull the flippy out, hand it back to Eileen. "Good as the day you gave it to me. I pulled my SIM, of course. Don't want you doing Sekrit Spy Shit."
I'm anxious to get to the assembly, but there's a few minutes to the bell. "I guess we'll find out something soon, right?"
Eileen makes a pfft noise, "Shit man, now I can't turn on the camera and snoop." She grins wide.
"An S-5?" Eloi can't help himself, "That's sweet. What cam and editing aps do you use?" He happily chatters away about that stuff with you if you indulge.
The period ends, and all the upperclassmen start milling towards the auditorium. The hall is inordinately crowded, and you end up sort of mushed against Eileen. Eloi disappeared into the masses. She's moving in front of you, the crowd inching along like rush-hour traffic.
She inclines her head back to look at you, smiling when you look at her. She seems to think it's funny, your expression or the situation or something.
I grin back at Eileen and chat with Eloi until the bell rings. When Eileen looks back at me, though, my face is hella grim. I meet her smile with a this is bad scowl. Walk into the auditorium.
Eileen's grin softens, but doesn't go away. She's one of those people who finds these kind of situations oddly amusing. You settle into your seats, and after waiting for too long, the principal comes up, hushes the crowd.
"Class," Principal Watters says once she's satisfied with the level of quiet. "Today, we lost two students." She pauses for the reaction, which is actually shock. Even the kids who "knew" weren't sure they really new. Too many BS memes and suckerfish incidents. There were no pics, it probably didn't happen. She continues, "Tod and Lincoln Andrews passed away this morning in a tragic accident. Amanda is missing, but the police are looking for her even now. Rest assured, all measures are being taken to make sure she is safe."
"Who da fuck is Lincoln?" Lou Washington asks Eileen.
"That's Bud's real name." she whispers back.
Principal Watters continues. She offers counseling for anyone who needs it, says a few words about both Todd and Bud, speaking highly of their athletic achievements, mentioning some of the teacher feedback on them, all positive.
The assembly only lasts about twenty minutes, then everyone is dismissed to classes. On the way out, Eileen is moving ahead of you towards the aisle. She looks back, an expression on her face like "wtf".
Tod and Bud dead? I ignore Eileen for the moment, push up towards Principal Watters. "Ms. Watters? They live... lived across the street from me. Can you tell me anything else?" It's not a stretch for me to look... stressed? anxious? grieving? Yes, grieving.
Principal Watters was already down on the ground level, and with most students heading out, you're a fish going upstream. But sure, you reach her. She gives you a sympathetic look, and regardless of school policy, reaches a hand up to your shoulder, "I'm sorry, Benny. I really am." She waits for some of the louder kids to clear out, only a moment's hesitation like she needs to be doing three other things, but she doesn't leave you.
"Their parents are really torn up about it." She offers this like it's supposed to be your answer. She's telling the truth, but you can tell, she probably doesn't know shit. You know more than she does at this point. More than anyone, probably.
Principal Watters frowns a little, "Not yet, but the police are on it. Amber alerts are going out now. I insisted. I promise we're doing what we can. Do you... know anything?"
How I wish I could tell someone what's what, but what good would it do, anyway? "No, ma'am, I don't. I never left the house once I got home from soccer practice yesterday." I pause. "Well, thanks." I give her one of those tight not-a-smiles and turn to leave.
You head back to class. Eileen didn't wait around, what with the throng and teachers waiting around to usher kids back to "the right place".
In Biology, you see Darius sitting in the middle rows, one of the linebackers near him. He looks not terribly happy, but oddly enough, not angry. He doesn't talk to you.
The talk around school is now that Amanda was kidnapped and both Todd and Bud died trying to defend her. That's the story circulating. There's a Facebook support group already, even a weloveyoutoddandbud.com up with some hastily snagged photos and dedications.
Soccer practice was relatively normal, after Coach talked to everyone, checking in on them. He coaches both kids when they were JV football, which is his other coaching gig. He's not an "emotional guy", but you can tell he's stricken by this. Seems about right, they were star athletes.
Here's the thing. Everyone's pretending to forget what assholes Bud and Todd were, and I'm sort of doing the same thing, but with even more reason. I may not know the details, but I know what happened. Bud or Amanda lost control, wigged out. After I kicked Amanda out. After I encouraged my Nightmare girlfriend (who, by the way, is also dead) to EAT THEIR DREAMS!
In a way, Eileen was right. On some level I could deal with the death and destruction in the Mad City as something that happened to not-people, but now real people are dead, and even if it was Bud and Todd, they were tangible, real to people other than me.
I make it through soccer practice, barely. Everyone expects me to be shaken - they lived across the street, right? - but it's pretty amazing that I'm functioning at all. On the inside, I'm running around in circles, flapping my arms and crying out "ohshitohshitohshit" over and over and over.
Eileen's waiting for you by her hooptie. It's in the parking lot on your way over. She's got ac Icee in her hand, sitting on the hood waiting around. There's another one on the hood beside her, your favorite flavor. What is it?
She hands it to you when you come up, saying, "Coach Liz canceled practice. She was all broken up about the Andrews." She takes another long drink from the Icee. Hers is cherry.
I grab the Icee and take a long pull on the straw. That is good, half-and-half cherry and coke, and Eileen layered it the way I would have. A little cherry, a little coke, a little cherry, a little coke...
I lean my ass on the hood next to her. "I'm pretty sure this is my fault. You get that, right?"
"Nope. No way, Benny." She says it completely sure, like she's been thinking of this, preparing for your guilt. "Wasn't your fault. Whatever it was, it wasn't your fault."
I shrug. I don't have to talk Eileen into this, it doesn't really matter. Maybe it's even nice that she's so certain. Wrong, but nice.
I take another sip of Icee. Not going to have the argument. "Sure, 'Leen. Listen, do you mind if we go? I feel like I should get home." It occurs to me that Amanda could be in one of three situations, if she's even alive. One, she's in my room, freaked out and needing to be talked down. Two, she's running around out in the world, probably a danger to herself and others. Three, she's in the Mad City. I figure I can do something about One and Three, and home's the place to start.
She takes a last sip, the slides off the hood, "Sure, man." She's in the driver's seat, starting the car up, pretty as you please.
No music, just the sound of the engine for a few blocks. Then, like she knows you don't want to talk about it but knows you might need to, "Bianca did it to them, not you. She would have fed on somebody, right? So how is it your fault? You didn't bring the flood, you directed it. Doesn't make it your fault."
When I speak, I know my voice is raised a little, angry, but I can't help it. "Eileen, this is not something you can fix with a fucking geometry proof or logical argument. There's no QED here. I know that if I hadn't fed the Andrews to Bianca it would have been someone else. Maybe Heather. Mom, Dad. Maybe even you. Which would have killed me. That doesn't change the fact that I pointed my finger and said, 'There, there is a snack for you, my Nightmare fuck toy!' Does it? No."
Eileen's eyes pop at the anger, and a bit more at the fuck toy, a kind of "oh shit" look at the end. She keeps driving, doesn't fight back, which is rare, right?
After a block, she more reacts to the apology than anything, "It's okay, Benny." But it isn't.
Right. I've got superpowers. That never turns out well for the people around the "hero," though, does it? Uncle Ben, Bruce Wayne's parents, the entire planet of Krypton, for fuck's sake. Not to mention that I'm just as liable to go nuts as I am to rescue a puppy from a burning building or whatever. I want to tell Eileen to pull over, let me out, I'll walk the rest of the way, just pretend we never met. I want to shout more, drive her away. I want to just sink through the seat and disappear.
Any of those things would be a good choice. Instead, I make by far the worst one possible. "Eileen." There are tears now, being born in the corners of my eyes. "Eileen, dammit. You know..."
"I love you."
It maybe wasn't true until I said it out loud, but it is now. In the space between one frame and the next...
Well, that got her attention. She sort of taps the brakes, then quickly pulls the car over onto the side of the road. Well, more like street. The quiet ride got you within a few blocks. She nestles the hooptie under a big maple with red and yellow leaves around its base, the gnarled roots rising up like toes.
Eileen dramatically throws the car into Park, cuts the engine. It settles uncomfortably into quiet with a bit of a rattle. She still, this whole time, hasn't looked at you. Not until right now. She turns in her seat to face you, looking in your eyes with this slightly shocked, slightly skeptical look in her eyes. Licks her lips once and asks, "What did you..."
"What did you just say?"
She's looking at you with such serious eyes right now, like she's waiting for the laughter, the jokes, the "just messin' with ya" part. Or is she?
How many times, sitting in this seat, in this crappy car, have I looked Eileen in the eye across this same two-and-a-half feet of space? There's a moment where I want to pull a face, take it back, go back to normal, but there's no normal now, is there? Maybe never again. Carpe fucking diem, right?
I've already been punched in the face this week. Another one won't hurt. I take the chance, lean forward, my hand going to the back of her neck. I keep her eyes until the angle makes it impossible, and then my lips are right there, just a few molecules of air between us. I still taste the cherry and coke on my tongue.
She moves forward to meet you, no resistance, leaning into the kiss, holding your eyes with hers. A hand on your chest, her head tilts first. At the last moment, you hear a soft intake of breath. Her cherry-flavored tongue quickly darts into your mouth, and she's eagerly kissing you. No hesitation, no more questions, just the pure delight of it fills you, Benny.
It seems like forever, this kiss, the subsequent kisses that follow, her hand sliding from your chest to rest softly on a shoulder as she inches forward. You hear soft little sounds of pleasure from her, mixing with ambient sounds of the neighborhood. A dog barking a few houses away. A leaf blower the opposite direction. A car passes by.
It doesn't seem she'll stop kissing you. When did she last have a boyfriend, Benny? Is she a good kisser?
Wow. This is what it's about. This kiss. I don't know if she's a good kisser, or if I'm a good kisser, but together we're really good at this.
And it's not like I haven't thought about it before. Like last year when she was complaining about that Senior she was dating? Blaine? Weeks on end of how he didn't appreciate her, how he kept pushing for sex she wasn't ready for, how he was hanging out with that skank Karen. I thought about it. I almost said, "hey, what about me?" But I didn't. It didn't seem right.
It's definitely right. I enjoy this for a long five or ten minutes. Then a thought occurs to me and I laugh a little into her mouth. After her questioning look, I explain. "Just thought about Dad's GPS tracker and wondered if he was checking the website right now." Then I do my impression. "Son, between 5:03 and 5:14 PM, you were stationary, several blocks away from the house. What were you doing?"
Eileen's all smiles when you pull back, laughs at your impression of your dad, too. She answers, in this fake deep "guy" voice, "Well dad, I was making with this hot chick, she's like, you know, pretty awesome and stuff." She snickers, looking at you in this way that makes you feel vitally important.
Then, before you can agree or pay her some half-baked compliment, she moves in for another kiss, cutting off the conversation for another thirty seconds. This time its more playful, swirling tongues and her fingers scratching the back of your neck. She leans into you a bit more, too.
She breaks off the kiss this time, slides back behind the wheel and starts the hooptie back up. She's got a cheshire cat grin on her face as she puts it in drive and pulls back onto the street to take you home. Any conversation on the last few minutes to home?
No conversation. Just enjoying this moment of sunshine, grinning like an idiot. When she pulls into the driveway, I give her another quick kiss. "Listen... I don't know how this phone will work in the... other place, and I have to go there, look for Amanda. I'll try sending you a text as soon as I'm there, though."
The corners of her mouth turn, her eyes narrow just a little. "You sure?" She means finding Amanda. She sees that you are, she knew but asked anyway. "Alright. You want the flip back? Maybe leave the new one in your room so poppa don't preach or whatever?"
When she asks about the flip, I almost slap my forehead. "I did not think about that. You, dear, are a freaking genius. Also sexy as hell, but mostly a genius." Another kiss, reluctant to leave the car, but doing it.
She snickers when you call her "sexy as hell", because you know she probably doesn't believe it. When you open the door, back turned to her, she says quick with a voice that cracks just a little, "I love you, too, Benny."
Then you're out of the car, momentum carrying you. She planned it, probably, waiting till the last second and no longer, till you're out of the car so it will stay fresh on your mind, because she couldn't let you have the last word. But the way she said it - more than just words.
You head on, because well, you know you really should. Eileen pulls out of the driveway, and you watch her go. Right next door. You literally made out with the girl next door, Benny. Who you evidently love. Requitedly, it turns out.
Your sister isn't home yet. Neither's your dad. Your mother, however, is sitting right there in her chair, TV on. She sits up when you come in, looks at you while putting her ipad on the side table. "Wow, you look like you had a pretty good day, Benny." She seems surprised.
Your mom beams at the sunshine comment, but straightens up when you ask about Amanda. She clears her throat, "Well, I went over to talk with Jenny earlier today," your mother says, talking about Mrs. Andrews, of course. "She was pretty shaken up, especially since he went on to work today. Evidently some big deal on the line." her tone says neither she nor Jenny approved of it.
"She said it happened while everyone was asleep. Happened in Todd's room, whatever it was that happened. The police think there was an intruder, but the doors were locked when she got up. Todd and Bud were both burned pretty badly, Benny. They, uhm... they died." She takes a breath and holds it for a moment. Then, "They have no idea where Amanda is."
"Man... it's just so awful. I mean, you know what I thought of Bud and Todd, even Amanda, but this? This is..." I give Mom a hug. I know she expects it.
I'm gonna have to wait until everyone's asleep to try and get to the Mad City on my own steam, and I'm kind of chafing to drown my guilt in some action. But, appearances. Apparently I can still banter when I need to. "What's for dinner tonight? Anything good, or are we trying out a new Moroccan-Korean Fusion recipe you found in No One Eats This magazine?"
Your mom did expect the hug, and she appreciates it, makes that "mmn mmn" non-verbal noise of enjoyment. Then you go and slam on her recipes-around-the-world and she makes a "Harumph" noise and gets up from her chair, starts to head to the kitchen.
"Your dad's working late and Heather is staying over at Julie's. It's just me and you, big guy. Do you... wanna order pizza?" she asks the question with a grin like she expects a yes.
Well, isn't this a rare and wondrous thing? Mom ordering pizza... "Sure, Mom! Valentino's, though, okay? I know you like the Papa John's commercials, think the dude is cute or whatever, but, c'mon."
I pull out my phone, text Eileen. To: Eileen From: Benny
Yo. Pizza with Mom, apparently.
Can't look for Amanda 'til it's quiet here.
Stupid smile, redux.
"The dude is cute. And the peperoncinis... they're so wow." you can't tell if she gets more excited talking about the food or the man. "But hey, it's your call, Benny. Valentino's it is."
She grabs the ipad to look up the number, then calls on the cordless to make the order. How do you normally get your pizza?
Here's the thing. Mom didn't know this, but we (by which I mean Eileen and me) have tried every topping Valentino's offers at one time or another since the we first discovered the place in the 8th grade. We have developed the perfect pie, and mom's going to dig it. I'll take the phone and place the order, myself. Too complicated to leave to an actual adult. Large (leftovers good). Pepperoni, fresh tomatoes, sliced pepperoncini, and, of all things, artichoke hearts. Awesome.
I hang out with Mom until the pizza arrives, watch a little Entertainment Tonight or whatever. We eat in the TV room, too. At some point I have to tell her. "So, I kissed Eileen today." I just throw it out there and take another bite of pizza.
Your mom's head jerks to look at you, and she pauses to wait for a "got you" or something. She finishes chewing her bite of pizza (which she totally loves), takes a swig of water, and reacts with, "Wow, Benny. That's great." She says it like she's buying time, watching you to see what you think of it. "You two have been close for. Well, for years. I always wondered if... you know."
"Is it a thing?" she asks before taking another bite.
"Well, it was on a dare, y'know. The guys bet me that she'd slap me if I tried." I laugh at Mom's expression. "No, seriously, I'm pretty sure it's a thing."
Once we're done eating, I grab my backpack and pull out my books. I'll do homework downstairs, some reading and a few worksheets. Nothing heavy today. I kinda feel like if I go up to my room, I'm committing to a course of action and want to delay as long as possible.
Your mom pulls out her grading folder and sits at the dinner table with you. She gets out her red pen and goes to town on a bunch of book reports. She doesn't make any snide comments about their errors, she doesn't want to disrespect them, even when they couldn't possibly know. She does write a few smilies on a couple, and makes happy little noises from time to time.
Around 9, she says without looking up, "You know, Benny, this has been a really great night." That's all, just a thing she says to mark the event. Your dad doesn't show up until 10, and heads straight to bed. Your mother follows soon after, giving you a kiss on the head before she goes.
I finish up the short essay I'm working on for History, then sigh. Alone at the table. It's maybe 10:30, and I have things to do. I go up to my room, change into my favorite black cargo pants, and change the load in my backpack. Who knows what's going to happen, right? I throw in a few power bars, a few bottles of water from the case I keep in my room. Spare battery for the GoPro, although it hasn't seemed to need a charge in days. The NRA-branded multitool I got from Grampa Jonas last Christmas. Whatever seems useful, up to a reasonable weight limit, right?
I pull out the phone before switching SIMs again.
From: Benny To: Eileen
Okay. Going in. I'll try to txt from the other side.
If you don't get one in 20 or so, don't worry.
Just no bars.
Okay. I swap out my SIM back to the flip phone. Then I put on the GoPro (I don't even know why anymore, but I do it).
So, the world looks the way I want it to, right? Fine. I stare at the wall, visualize the final entrance into the Wax King's throne room. Or, at least the one I came through last. Imagine the Smothered, Ubert, the King himself, envisioned through the portal. Once I see it, really see it, I stand up from where I'm sitting on the bed, walk toward the proverbial back of the wardrobe.
I step through, and for a moment I'm in both places, but seeing too much. Mom and Dad, sleeping as far apart as they can on the king-sized mattress, backs to each other. Heather holding Julie as she sobs, worrying about her future. Ladies in Hating roaming the halls of the school with no purpose, no leader, no restraint. Ubert, stoic but dripping wax, clearly mourning the loss of Madalena in some way. All of this pouring in on me at once, shouting in my head. I hear a voice, one I don't know, maybe it's me. YOU ARE LOST.
After you pass the barrier, it quickly closes behind you, leaving you in the echoing emptiness that is the Wax King's throne room. He was there, on his throne, his wick guttering, the flame dancing while he sits nearly immobile, one hand under his chin.
His eyes slowly track over to see you, and his expression of dismay softens. He raises his head up, "Benjamin, my boy. You've returned."
Behind him a dozen Smothered Folk work whisper quiet on fashioning a waxen tapestry. You see images that depict, in stages, the fall of Madalena and Bianca, as well as Scribbler and your victory over Mother When. It is very stylized, but beautiful.
"I had thought," The Wax King continues, "You might not. I wouldn't have... well, I wouldn't have blamed you, son."
"Your Majesty." I bow slightly. "When I first Awakened, and I didn't really understand what, who Bianca was, but after I had severed her from Mother When... I let her feed on neighbors of mine in the Slumbering City. One is dead, along with his brother. Burned. Their sister is missing, though, and I think she's here, half-Awake and confused."
The Wax King listens intently, nodding along, not at all shocked at the events as you lay them out. "Half-Awake, eh? This is interesting." He steeples his forefingers in front of his face and contemplates this for a little while.
In fact, it seems, after a bit, that he might have forgotten you entirely, so lost in thought he is. Eventually you do something to regain his attention and he blinks back to lucidity. "Ah yes, finding her." He clears his throat, "You could bribe a paper boy at the printing press to write a story about where she is. Or speak with the Tacks Man, he has impeccable records. The Bizarre Bazaar might have a location device or two. I know they have diving rods for forgotten dreams, could easily be within the realm of, ahem, possibility."
He fixes you with a stare, "Or. Perhaps, Benjamin, you could will it to be. Dangerous. Very dangerous, since you would be fighting against the entire city. And... she may not want to be found." He makes a hmn noise in his throat, intrigued by this line of thought.
"Will it to be? What would that mean? What sort of danger? Paper Boys, Tacks Man, they're Nightmares, right? And the Bazaar, run by Nightmares, or their... proxies..."
The Wax King smacks his dry, cracked lips a couple times, pondering your questions. He raises a finger, as if to make a certain point, and says, "Paper Boys and Tacks Man, both Nightmares, yes. The Bazaar run by Nightmares or proxies, no."
His finger lowers, and he pushes on the arms of his throne until he is able to stand. "The Bazaar, it is believed by those who care to ponder, is the opposite of Nightmares. Nightmares being the personification of their namesake, the Bazaar is most likely the opposite side of the coin. Not always pleasant, most often confusing, but dreams are the things of the Bazaar. Alien and incomprehensible. Not safe. But not malignant with intent. Does this... make sense, Benjamin?"
"As much as anything does. But still, will it to be? What does that mean. I have nothing to trade in the Bazaar, and I don't want to go to a Nightmare for my business if I can help it."
With three steps, the Wax King comes down from the dais to stand beside you. He puts a hand on your arm, "Benjamin... Scribbler and I spoke at length about your gifts. Have you ever tried to influence someone else with your control?"
"I've shown other people things, even influenced Mother When with bullets from a hundred of Scribbler's doodle-guns, in my hands. But I'm not sure what you mean..."
He spreads his hands as if he's surrendering to your doubt, "Perhaps it cannot be done. Perhaps it is only the fanciful imaginings of an old.... old man. You should go the Bazaar. If you're willing to trade your dreams, I'm sure you can find this lost one."
I'm frustrated with the cryptic whatsahoozie, but I know the literature, the movies. It has to be cryptic, right? Anything else would be too easy. "Okay, I guess I'm heading to the Bizarre Bazaar. Can you point me in the right direction?"
"I shall summon Sir Ubert to guide you, Benjamin." He rotates a hand in a circular motion like moving things forward. Then, a thought strikes him, he looks up, "Do you need food or drink? It shall be some time before thirteen o'clock."
"Thank you, your Majesty. Some water, maybe? I ate not too long ago." I excuse myself, turn away, and pull out Eileen's flip phone. Whether or not there are bars, I try sending a text.
From: Benny To: Eileen
On the other side. Does this work?
xo
After a couple moments, a candle goblet is brought to you. You take a drink of the cool, clear water, as fresh as anything you've imagined. Your little phone buzzes.
To Benny From: Eileen
It DOES! Are you ok? Did u find her?
<3
To: Eileen From: Benny
Woot! I'm ok.
Heading out to look soon.
I think for a second, remembering the "call" from "Jasmine" the first time I would up in the Mad City. Should've arranged a code word or something... proof of identity. I decide to trust until I have reason not to.
You look up from your phone to see the Wax King, who was talking with Ubert a moment ago. He's looking at you with a spooky intensity. "Benjamin," he says calm but sure, "What did you just do? Just a moment ago."
The Wax King's eyes narrow, he doesn't know what you mean. "I felt it, Benjamin. I sensed it, whatever you... sent. It was to a girl, correct?"
Sir Ubert blinks (which you might think would hurt with those flame eyes, but he doesn't act like it hurts), asking "Was she on the other side, Benjamin?"
"No, Benjamin." the Wax King responds calmly, "As long as she remains in the City Slumbering, she is safe. What you have done, however, is send up a flare that you are here. As well as who you are."
Sir Ubert adds, "If it is any consolation, Benny, I did not feel it. Perhaps only the most powerful among us can sense this."
I nod. I'll wait, wherever it seems convenient, look over the depiction of the fight with Mother When, until it's time to head to the Bazaar. I wonder what form I should take while looking for Amanda - my own would surely be a bad idea.
Comments
"...so Tad's got no idea how he burned up?" one male voice says.
"Nope. Burned to a crispy fritter, and nothing else, except what he touched on his way down." a female voice answers.
"That's some Ripley's shit, man." the first guy says.
Your phone buzzes:
From: Heather To: Benny HFS, did that guy say he burned to death? Who?!?! Bus, Todd, Mr. Andrews? Who?From: Benny To: Heather Yeah, HFS! Didn't say who. Shit.Every one of your morning classes are abuzz with "what happened at the Andrews house?" You're constantly hit up by classmates for details, people poring over what you saw. How do you handle it generally?
At lunch, Eileen is sitting with someone from her Chem lab, a junior named Eloi. He's from Manila, a short guy who's super smart. Eileen waves you over though, makes with the introductions.
"Nice to meet you, Benny," Eloi says as he offers a hand. "Eileen says you're her BFF."
At lunch, I give Eloi a smile and take his hand for a shake. "Her Big Flatulent Friend? Eileen, that's not very nice. Nice to meet you anyway, Eloi." I'm fine with small talk. Today's almost-food is tacfauxs. Y'know, they call them tacos, but who knows what's really in them?
Turns out, Eloi is into some stuff you dig. He starts talking about movie-making, "Yeah, I've got a Vimeo channel rocking, it's bilingual, both Filipino and English stuff. So I have to subtitle it for... you know, Americans. Do you like horror movies and shorts, Benny?"
He sighs, "But that was back in Manila. Have to start all over here."
He sums it up with, "America's not so bad. Your food is shitty, though."
Eileen says, "Loy, this isn't food. It's a food-like substance."
He'll chat about food with you for a while, then Eileen interjects with, "Abrupt subject change alert. So Benny, what's up with the Andrews? I saw the ambulance, but then I had to get my stupid brother to school for some project thing."
That reminds me. I have Eileen's old phone in my pocket.
The loudspeakers in the cafeteria squawk to life, "Attention students." It's the guidance counselor, Harris. "At the bell, we're going to have an upper class assembly. All juniors and seniors, please process to the auditorium at the bell. I repeat, all juniors and seniors, please proceed to the auditorium at the end of this period. Thank you."
The cafeteria explodes with chatter as soon as Harris announces the assembly. They all think that the Andrews family is dead. Eileen and Eloi don't say anything, just looking at each other, and you.
I'm anxious to get to the assembly, but there's a few minutes to the bell. "I guess we'll find out something soon, right?"
"An S-5?" Eloi can't help himself, "That's sweet. What cam and editing aps do you use?" He happily chatters away about that stuff with you if you indulge.
The period ends, and all the upperclassmen start milling towards the auditorium. The hall is inordinately crowded, and you end up sort of mushed against Eileen. Eloi disappeared into the masses. She's moving in front of you, the crowd inching along like rush-hour traffic.
She inclines her head back to look at you, smiling when you look at her. She seems to think it's funny, your expression or the situation or something.
"Class," Principal Watters says once she's satisfied with the level of quiet. "Today, we lost two students." She pauses for the reaction, which is actually shock. Even the kids who "knew" weren't sure they really new. Too many BS memes and suckerfish incidents. There were no pics, it probably didn't happen. She continues, "Tod and Lincoln Andrews passed away this morning in a tragic accident. Amanda is missing, but the police are looking for her even now. Rest assured, all measures are being taken to make sure she is safe."
"Who da fuck is Lincoln?" Lou Washington asks Eileen.
"That's Bud's real name." she whispers back.
Principal Watters continues. She offers counseling for anyone who needs it, says a few words about both Todd and Bud, speaking highly of their athletic achievements, mentioning some of the teacher feedback on them, all positive.
The assembly only lasts about twenty minutes, then everyone is dismissed to classes. On the way out, Eileen is moving ahead of you towards the aisle. She looks back, an expression on her face like "wtf".
"Their parents are really torn up about it." She offers this like it's supposed to be your answer. She's telling the truth, but you can tell, she probably doesn't know shit. You know more than she does at this point. More than anyone, probably.
In Biology, you see Darius sitting in the middle rows, one of the linebackers near him. He looks not terribly happy, but oddly enough, not angry. He doesn't talk to you.
The talk around school is now that Amanda was kidnapped and both Todd and Bud died trying to defend her. That's the story circulating. There's a Facebook support group already, even a weloveyoutoddandbud.com up with some hastily snagged photos and dedications.
Soccer practice was relatively normal, after Coach talked to everyone, checking in on them. He coaches both kids when they were JV football, which is his other coaching gig. He's not an "emotional guy", but you can tell he's stricken by this. Seems about right, they were star athletes.
How are you handling this?
In a way, Eileen was right. On some level I could deal with the death and destruction in the Mad City as something that happened to not-people, but now real people are dead, and even if it was Bud and Todd, they were tangible, real to people other than me.
I make it through soccer practice, barely. Everyone expects me to be shaken - they lived across the street, right? - but it's pretty amazing that I'm functioning at all. On the inside, I'm running around in circles, flapping my arms and crying out "ohshitohshitohshit" over and over and over.
What.
Have.
I.
Done.
She hands it to you when you come up, saying, "Coach Liz canceled practice. She was all broken up about the Andrews." She takes another long drink from the Icee. Hers is cherry.
I lean my ass on the hood next to her. "I'm pretty sure this is my fault. You get that, right?"
I take another sip of Icee. Not going to have the argument. "Sure, 'Leen. Listen, do you mind if we go? I feel like I should get home." It occurs to me that Amanda could be in one of three situations, if she's even alive. One, she's in my room, freaked out and needing to be talked down. Two, she's running around out in the world, probably a danger to herself and others. Three, she's in the Mad City. I figure I can do something about One and Three, and home's the place to start.
No music, just the sound of the engine for a few blocks. Then, like she knows you don't want to talk about it but knows you might need to, "Bianca did it to them, not you. She would have fed on somebody, right? So how is it your fault? You didn't bring the flood, you directed it. Doesn't make it your fault."
I immediately regret my tone. "sorry"
After a block, she more reacts to the apology than anything, "It's okay, Benny." But it isn't.
Right. I've got superpowers. That never turns out well for the people around the "hero," though, does it? Uncle Ben, Bruce Wayne's parents, the entire planet of Krypton, for fuck's sake. Not to mention that I'm just as liable to go nuts as I am to rescue a puppy from a burning building or whatever. I want to tell Eileen to pull over, let me out, I'll walk the rest of the way, just pretend we never met. I want to shout more, drive her away. I want to just sink through the seat and disappear.
Any of those things would be a good choice. Instead, I make by far the worst one possible. "Eileen." There are tears now, being born in the corners of my eyes. "Eileen, dammit. You know..."
"I love you."
It maybe wasn't true until I said it out loud, but it is now. In the space between one frame and the next...
Eileen dramatically throws the car into Park, cuts the engine. It settles uncomfortably into quiet with a bit of a rattle. She still, this whole time, hasn't looked at you. Not until right now. She turns in her seat to face you, looking in your eyes with this slightly shocked, slightly skeptical look in her eyes. Licks her lips once and asks, "What did you..."
"What did you just say?"
She's looking at you with such serious eyes right now, like she's waiting for the laughter, the jokes, the "just messin' with ya" part. Or is she?
I've already been punched in the face this week. Another one won't hurt. I take the chance, lean forward, my hand going to the back of her neck. I keep her eyes until the angle makes it impossible, and then my lips are right there, just a few molecules of air between us. I still taste the cherry and coke on my tongue.
It seems like forever, this kiss, the subsequent kisses that follow, her hand sliding from your chest to rest softly on a shoulder as she inches forward. You hear soft little sounds of pleasure from her, mixing with ambient sounds of the neighborhood. A dog barking a few houses away. A leaf blower the opposite direction. A car passes by.
It doesn't seem she'll stop kissing you. When did she last have a boyfriend, Benny? Is she a good kisser?
And it's not like I haven't thought about it before. Like last year when she was complaining about that Senior she was dating? Blaine? Weeks on end of how he didn't appreciate her, how he kept pushing for sex she wasn't ready for, how he was hanging out with that skank Karen. I thought about it. I almost said, "hey, what about me?" But I didn't. It didn't seem right.
It's definitely right. I enjoy this for a long five or ten minutes. Then a thought occurs to me and I laugh a little into her mouth. After her questioning look, I explain. "Just thought about Dad's GPS tracker and wondered if he was checking the website right now." Then I do my impression. "Son, between 5:03 and 5:14 PM, you were stationary, several blocks away from the house. What were you doing?"
Then, before you can agree or pay her some half-baked compliment, she moves in for another kiss, cutting off the conversation for another thirty seconds. This time its more playful, swirling tongues and her fingers scratching the back of your neck. She leans into you a bit more, too.
She breaks off the kiss this time, slides back behind the wheel and starts the hooptie back up. She's got a cheshire cat grin on her face as she puts it in drive and pulls back onto the street to take you home. Any conversation on the last few minutes to home?
When she asks about the flip, I almost slap my forehead. "I did not think about that. You, dear, are a freaking genius. Also sexy as hell, but mostly a genius." Another kiss, reluctant to leave the car, but doing it.
Then you're out of the car, momentum carrying you. She planned it, probably, waiting till the last second and no longer, till you're out of the car so it will stay fresh on your mind, because she couldn't let you have the last word. But the way she said it - more than just words.
You head on, because well, you know you really should. Eileen pulls out of the driveway, and you watch her go. Right next door. You literally made out with the girl next door, Benny. Who you evidently love. Requitedly, it turns out.
Your sister isn't home yet. Neither's your dad. Your mother, however, is sitting right there in her chair, TV on. She sits up when you come in, looks at you while putting her ipad on the side table. "Wow, you look like you had a pretty good day, Benny." She seems surprised.
"She said it happened while everyone was asleep. Happened in Todd's room, whatever it was that happened. The police think there was an intruder, but the doors were locked when she got up. Todd and Bud were both burned pretty badly, Benny. They, uhm... they died." She takes a breath and holds it for a moment. Then, "They have no idea where Amanda is."
I'm gonna have to wait until everyone's asleep to try and get to the Mad City on my own steam, and I'm kind of chafing to drown my guilt in some action. But, appearances. Apparently I can still banter when I need to. "What's for dinner tonight? Anything good, or are we trying out a new Moroccan-Korean Fusion recipe you found in No One Eats This magazine?"
"Your dad's working late and Heather is staying over at Julie's. It's just me and you, big guy. Do you... wanna order pizza?" she asks the question with a grin like she expects a yes.
I pull out my phone, text Eileen.
To: Eileen From: Benny Yo. Pizza with Mom, apparently. Can't look for Amanda 'til it's quiet here.Stupid smile, redux.
She grabs the ipad to look up the number, then calls on the cordless to make the order. How do you normally get your pizza?
I hang out with Mom until the pizza arrives, watch a little Entertainment Tonight or whatever. We eat in the TV room, too. At some point I have to tell her. "So, I kissed Eileen today." I just throw it out there and take another bite of pizza.
"Is it a thing?" she asks before taking another bite.
Once we're done eating, I grab my backpack and pull out my books. I'll do homework downstairs, some reading and a few worksheets. Nothing heavy today. I kinda feel like if I go up to my room, I'm committing to a course of action and want to delay as long as possible.
Around 9, she says without looking up, "You know, Benny, this has been a really great night." That's all, just a thing she says to mark the event. Your dad doesn't show up until 10, and heads straight to bed. Your mother follows soon after, giving you a kiss on the head before she goes.
I pull out the phone before switching SIMs again.
From: Benny To: Eileen Okay. Going in. I'll try to txt from the other side. If you don't get one in 20 or so, don't worry. Just no bars.And immediately:
From: Benny To: Eileen I love youTo: Benny From: Eileen Just look for her, ok? Just look, don't get hurt. I want u back. Waited for so long for today!Then after the second text:
To: Benny From: Eileen U 2 Don't forget. You're carrying more than my phone over there.So, the world looks the way I want it to, right? Fine. I stare at the wall, visualize the final entrance into the Wax King's throne room. Or, at least the one I came through last. Imagine the Smothered, Ubert, the King himself, envisioned through the portal. Once I see it, really see it, I stand up from where I'm sitting on the bed, walk toward the proverbial back of the wardrobe.
It was really easy to enter the Mad City before, right? But now, well, now, it feels like there's some resistance. Isn't that... crazy?
To pierce a hole to the Wax King's throne room will be 3 Pain. You'll do it, that isn't the question. It's simply: how much does it hurt?
Exhaustion: (Rolled: 2d6. Rolls: 2, 3. Total: 5)
Madness: (Rolled: 2d6. Rolls: 5, 5. Total: 10)
Also, I get a Coin of Despair.
His eyes slowly track over to see you, and his expression of dismay softens. He raises his head up, "Benjamin, my boy. You've returned."
Behind him a dozen Smothered Folk work whisper quiet on fashioning a waxen tapestry. You see images that depict, in stages, the fall of Madalena and Bianca, as well as Scribbler and your victory over Mother When. It is very stylized, but beautiful.
"I had thought," The Wax King continues, "You might not. I wouldn't have... well, I wouldn't have blamed you, son."
"I need to find her and help, if I can."
In fact, it seems, after a bit, that he might have forgotten you entirely, so lost in thought he is. Eventually you do something to regain his attention and he blinks back to lucidity. "Ah yes, finding her." He clears his throat, "You could bribe a paper boy at the printing press to write a story about where she is. Or speak with the Tacks Man, he has impeccable records. The Bizarre Bazaar might have a location device or two. I know they have diving rods for forgotten dreams, could easily be within the realm of, ahem, possibility."
He fixes you with a stare, "Or. Perhaps, Benjamin, you could will it to be. Dangerous. Very dangerous, since you would be fighting against the entire city. And... she may not want to be found." He makes a hmn noise in his throat, intrigued by this line of thought.
His finger lowers, and he pushes on the arms of his throne until he is able to stand. "The Bazaar, it is believed by those who care to ponder, is the opposite of Nightmares. Nightmares being the personification of their namesake, the Bazaar is most likely the opposite side of the coin. Not always pleasant, most often confusing, but dreams are the things of the Bazaar. Alien and incomprehensible. Not safe. But not malignant with intent. Does this... make sense, Benjamin?"
"Your Majesty."
"Your Majesty."
From: Benny To: Eileen On the other side. Does this work? xoTo Benny From: Eileen It DOES! Are you ok? Did u find her? <3To: Eileen From: Benny Woot! I'm ok. Heading out to look soon.I think for a second, remembering the "call" from "Jasmine" the first time I would up in the Mad City. Should've arranged a code word or something... proof of identity. I decide to trust until I have reason not to.
Sir Ubert blinks (which you might think would hurt with those flame eyes, but he doesn't act like it hurts), asking "Was she on the other side, Benjamin?"
Sir Ubert adds, "If it is any consolation, Benny, I did not feel it. Perhaps only the most powerful among us can sense this."