[NOVA] Orbital Mechanics (K 1.9, M 1.8)

WPTunes

Ksenia and Mei, it is two days later, and the Stalker Jane has made her way to the former orbit of MV-589. Some larger pieces of the planet still follow the path, sure to decay soon or fly off toward deeper space. It is ship's night after a long day of gathering and correlating data that has not yet borne fruit in an explanation. Mei, you feel the emitter as the slightest pressure on the structure you constructed from your memories and Cora's essence.

It's just the two of you, in your quarters.

Mischa

[Mei]

I've taken to sketching at the end of the day to relax and keep my mind fluid. I've set down the pad, gazing at my little terrarium, wondering who's writing me notes, wondering about the emitter, worried about Cora, thinking about orbital mechanics and the degeneration of the planet's pieces. Some of my sketches are of rosettas and binary, trinary, quaternary and more fanciful arrangements of planets in impossible Klemperer rosettes.

I ask Ksenia, "Do you think it will take another year when we transition out of here?" The missing time troubles me a little.

Rich

[Ksenia Cribbage]

I've just come back from the refresher, it's evening and I shouldn't be taking a second shower, but I've taken to working out twice a day, there's nothing else to do. I'm dead weight here. I'm in a towel, my arm isn't attached. It's perfectly suited for water, it's sturdier than the fleshy parts, but I just hate having to bother with it sometimes. Ugly thing. It's sitting on my bed.

I've got my hair in a towel, not that it's long enough, really. I use the second towel to dry. I like toweling dry, not blow dryers and the like. I walk over, looking at Mei's sketchbook. "I think whatever is happening here affected our time. So, if we fix it, if it can be fixed, then probably not. But the emitter seems to be more powerful than we anticipated."

I gesture at the pad with my chin, "That's really nice."

Mischa

[Mei]

"You're telling me." I grin at her understatement. "I had no idea that it would hit me so hard. I had to do something, or it might've... " I look a little uncertain. "Overwhelmed me. And not in a good way. What was it like for you?"

I look at my pad, a little more critically than she. Some of the lines aren't the way I wanted, and this shading is wrong. But that world has depth, and I really like the way this shadow ripples. "Thank you." I keep my eyes on it, trying to see it as she would, without imperfections. "Would you like to have it?"

Rich

[Ksenia Cribbage]

I do a half-shrug, which is how it goes with one arm, "It was annoying, the words, but that's about it, really. I'm sure it would've caused problems eventually. Probably because I don't have any psi anything. Could be my cybernetics, too. I dunno."

She offers me the sheet she was sketching, and it's so sweet, so terribly Mei. It's just sketches on a piece of paper, sure, there are errant lines and places where she rubbed things out. But it's my friend's thoughts and her creation, and it's beautiful. I'll treasure it for as long as I keep it. "Yes. I'd like it, Taban. Thank you."

I spend a minute more drying my hair, then I grab the clothes I laid out neatly on my bunk, and turn around. Sure, she'll get a pic of my ass, but I'm angled so pizza side is away from her, because it's gross. I pull the shirt over my head quickly, dropping the towel in the process so there's like a second of exposure. Reminds me of the moment when the Imperial peon walks in on Darth Vader right as his helmet is coming back down. That was the fifth movie, I think. Empire. Yeah, that's it. So I pull a quick change with the t-shirt, a loose-fitting comfy one. Right after, no pausing, I get to work on pulling on underwear, then loose sleep pants. Once I'm "decent", I'll turn back around.

That's when I realize, I'm almost eye level with Mei, me standing, her on her cot. She's looking at me, and I feel a little nervous. Just, butterflies, no idea why. I feel like I should put my arm on. Maybe? No, I'll leave it lying there, just chat with my friend.

WPTunes

It's quiet. Sanchez and Sung are certainly asleep by now and Dinah is taking tonight's long watch in the cockpit, dozing in the captain's chair so someone can respond immediately if there's an alert. Dai will be alone in quarters, probably doing her pre-bed stretching and balance exercises.

Ksenia, at some point during the last two days, you had an encounter with the Captain that made you think of Dinah's words before the transition out of FTL. Tell me about that.

Mei, have you been trying to discover who's sending you these notes? If so, how are you going about that?

Mischa

[Mei]

I'm tapping my charcoal, thinking out loud, almost musing, I say, "Hmm.. I forgot about your cybernetics. I wonder if my psi would..." Oh! Stupid, Mei. My eyes are wide, I feel a little embarrassed. "I didn't mean... I'm sorry, I hope I didn't offend you!" Of course I know she has augments, I just, it just slipped my mind. She's just Cribbage. I hope she doesn't think I'm going to scan her. I wonder what would happen if she could scan me.

I'm glad she likes my sketch. For two moments, I look at her form as an artist, how she moves. I know I'm not really an artist. My eye is drawn to Ksenia's flash of bare skin. I don't want her to catch my inadvertent peek. I think my attention makes her uncomfortable. And I doubt she would want to pose for me, so I'll just draw her from memory. I'm not sure if I would show it to her. I roll on my back and look at my star chart. Camelopardalis, Cygnus, Ophiuchus... One day, one planet, I'll name my own constellations.

She's so tall, we're practically at eye level. I wonder if she'd want a sparring partner? It would be a nice break from just working out. She's got an odd look on her face. I'll try something safe. With a cock of my head and a gentle smile, I try, "Any words of advice for a young officer? Funny stories from the field?" I'm still looking up to her.

Rich

[Ksenia Cribbage]

Dai?

Oh. Yeah, that. That was a disaster. I was up in the cockpit passing time with Dai. I was reading while she was chatting, it was casual. Then, she got closer. I played it off, you know, she's just being friendly. And yeah, a guilty part of me craved the attention. While the rest of me screamed that it was wrong to want it, that Dai's was deluded to be attracted to me, plus, you know, I haven't even kissed a girl since Lana, and just. A whole mess in my head.

And I'm staring at my datapad trying to read but I can't see the words anymore and I'm nervous and I feel flush. That's when she put her hand on my pizza side again. I just froze! She must've mistaken me for a deer because she kept moving in, all quiet and touching my side. Then she started kissing my neck, and a part of me died inside, just crumbled into dust.

I apologized quickly, made up some bullshit about needing to check on some engineering work, and left. Yeah. Classy. That's me.

Rich

[Ksenia Cribbage]

Mei immediately starts trying to find a way to overcome, just like I've come to expect. She starts when she thinks I might be offended. Is she scared of me? I hope not. I reflexively reach up my left hand to her leg, like I'm reassuring her, "It's alright, Taban. Don't worry about it, ok?" Then, realizing I just grabbed her leg, I squeeze once and step back.

"Advice?" I repeat the question, a thing I do. "Know the job. Know the regs, too. But most of all, know how to do what you make the grunts do. Live it, don't just learn it." I decide to put on my arm, so I bend over to get it. It isn't until I'm already moving when I feel the lightest breeze on my lower back, left side, of course. My shirt wasn't tucked in yet, so it rode up on me.

If she was looking, which I desperately hope she wasn't, she probably got an eyeful of my lower right side, which is a patchwork of molten flesh and my bio port. It's more like melted wax and a frakking fuel nozzle than anything you'd see on a real person.

Great. Just great. I refuse to jump up like some teenager and pull my shirt down, so I just stand up, not meeting her eyes, and start putting the arm on. It's pretty amazing, as a device. A ball and socket joint like a real human arm, except, you know, made of titanium. I pop the ball into the socket, then attach the ports for servo control and data access. All of a couple seconds. Then I do my habitual flexing of my fingers, just to make sure the signal's clear.

Then I look at Mei. Swallow, sort of stare at her for a moment longer. "You're already doing the job, Taban. You're a damn good officer. If I had the opportunity, I'd serve you in a heartbeat." Oh frak, that came out wrong.

Mischa

[Mei]

Crap, I think I did offend her. It's just easy to forget- she's just Cribbage. She pulls back from me, too. Nice going, Mei. She doesn't even want to touch your leg. What's the chances she'll offer you another shoulder massage?

I see her injury, and it looks pretty severe. Small wonder that she doesn't want to talk about it, and I keep putting my foot in my mouth. I watch her attach her arm. It's truly amazing in its own way, to say nothing of its massage capabilities. Not that long ago she'd be up the creek with a one-armed paddle, without anything like a real prosthetic. Without modern medicine, she'd be dead or worse than crippled for life. I'm about to ask her if she's going to keep it, then she speaks first. She always gets in the first word, it seems, which makes me smile.

Her compliment resonates. I'm not going to look away, I'm not I'm not, but her gaze is heavy and makes me blink a lot. Her eyes are deep. "That means a lot to me, Ksenia. Thank you." Yes, I think about Cribbage in uniform, kicking ass. I also think about her serving me. Er, serving under me. Okay, now I really do break eye contact and blush a little harder, fighting a smile. "We are a good team." I stop myself, and squirm a little in my bunk. Careful, Mei.


The notes. A secret admirer. I love the mystery, it makes me feel girly. But I'm desperate to know who's been writing them. Only Dai and Gaumata were in the cockpit, watching me pilot. But Lourdes certainly knows I was in the driver's seat. The words sound something like Chruch's voice. And I worry that it's Sanchez. I'm his commanding officer, there would be a scandal if anything were to happen where someone "served" an officer in an improper fashion. Sung's warning words come back to me, and I wonder what Psi Corps is playing at.

Am I trying to change the subject? "Ksenia, you haven't..." No, I can't imagine that she's leaving me notes like that. "That is, have you seen anyone touching my tablet?"

Rich

[Ksenia Cribbage]

Why is she squirming in her bunk? Am I staring? I do that, sometimes. I'm such an oaf. She says we're a good team. That feels better. She's right, we are. Unstoppable. I'm so lucky to get another chance to work with her. I nod.

"Your tablet?" I ask, a bit surprised at the sudden subject change. "No. Is someone messing with your gear?" I give her a serious look, like "we'll get to the bottom of this". But what does she mean?

Mischa

[Mei]

I shake my head rapidly, a little too. "No, never mind." I try to dismiss it. I didn't really expect she'd out and say, "Why yes, Mei, I am writing you secret admirer notes and you have solved the mystery and shall have your reward!" Oh, my.

"I'm just tired?" Will she buy it? I'm not that tired. I suddenly don't want her to know about the notes if she didn't write them. Would she be jealous? I want her to be jealous. But I'm not sure if she would. "At least I'll sleep in the right bunk, right?" Now I'm running off at the mouth. Zip it, Mei. I bite my lip a little. I just want to sink into the bed.

What kind of an officer acts like this? And Ksenia wants to serve me? Buck up! Don't lose her respect!

Rich

[Ksenia Cribbage]

"Heh, yeah. That was unexpected. I almost squashed you, Taban." I chuckle, thinking about that surprise in my bunk. If only. "I thought about picking you up and putting you in your bunk, but you looked, well, like you needed the sleep."

For a moment, I pause, then a thought strikes, "Do you want the bottom bunk? You do have rank. I should've given it to you." I'm not exactly apologizing, but I'm kind of backing off from the way that I took bottom bunk.

Mischa

[Mei]

I chuckle too, glad to move on. "Not the first time you've hauled my ass around. Sorry. And thanks." I look a little nervous. "I didn't, um, do anything? Or say anything? I really should not drink that much."

"I don't outrank you, Ksenia. You're not on my staff." I'm staying neutral here, careful not to offend. "You're tall, I'm short." I catch myself before I say it, close my mouth. If she wants to be on top? Classy, Mei. "I'm flexible." Nice, Mei. At least you didn't say, "I'm easy." What is this, a cheap romcom vid?

Rich

[Ksenia Cribbage]

Her worry about what she might've said or did while she was passed out drunk. "You were fine, Taban. You didn't do anything wrong. You just snored your adorable little snore and that was it." I pat her calf with my left hand, her skin is much warmer than mine.

She's right about rank. I can't argue that, even though my heart wants to argue against the truth. I stop moving my hand when she says she's flexible. I've seen. Watched her workout. She is. I give her a bit of a half-smile in agreement.

"I think you're pretty great, Taban." I squeeze her calf, then force my hand away, "Just the way you are." I'm staring at her, so I blink, then look away. My eyes fix on her shoulder.

I just say the first thing I can think of, "Your shoulder's doing better. I haven't seen you favor it."

Mischa

[Mei]

"I told you I snored!" Wait, she thinks my snore is adorable? She keeps touching my leg. Does she notice I'm not complaining? I feel like I'm hunting a wild bird and I don't want to scare her off.

And she thinks I'm great? I'm not blinking, and I can tell I'm breathing a little more rapidly. Before I can respond, I don't even know what I'm going to say, she pulls back and talks about my shoulder.

I look at my shoulder. Yes, it's still there. I roll it experimentally, demonstrating. "Yes. I've been more mindful. Can't go investigate strange psionic emitters with a bum shoulder." I look at her face, searching for a clue. I think you're great, too, Ksenia.

I'm very tempted to reach out to her with my psi. But I worry she would think less of me. No, Mei. That's final.

Rich

[Ksenia Cribbage]

I'm so worked up right now, I need a drink. I should leave. This is like the longest time I've sat and talked with Mei and it's killing me. Why do I feel so uncomfortable around her? So ugly? I mean, yes, I can admit I'm attracted to her. There, I just did, it's frakking obvious.

Since I can't keep my hands to myself, I cross my arms. Which, of course looks like I'm mad, which I'm not. I stand there, happy to be near her, nervous because of the long silence. I have no idea what to say. I could talk about guns. No. Frak guns. The emitter? Yeah, that's important, but it'd be like a third grader trying to talk about trig to a professor. "Gee, Mei, the brain thinking is still out there. What do you say?"

Frak. I suck at this.

"I can't get drunk anymore." I announce it, out of the blue. "I mean, the wine. My systems filter it out. It's kind of a bummer."

Mischa

[Mei]

Is she mad at me? What did I say? Did I not thank her enough? I'm sure I look confused. I roll onto my side and prop my head up on one arm, sort of hook my feet together. I'm not trying for a cheesecake pose. That would be tacky. I'm just getting more comfortable, so we can talk.

"Really? Wow, I'm sorry." I am offending her. I suppose that's part of her augments. Fewer distractions in the field... but what about furlough and R&R? I blink curiously. "Can't they adjust that for you? I mean, Gaumata's a good doctor and obviously savvy with bio-augments. Why don't you ask zir?"

I bite my lip a tiny tiny bit. Yes, I would like to see Ksenia with fewer inhibitions. I feel horribly guilty for a moment.

WPTunes

Ksenia, your tablet pings. The mesage is from Zoo.

Awake?

Rich

[Ksenia Cribbage]

I do not look at Mei when she rolls over. Just her eyes. Scan her face, but just looking at her head. I am not going to stand here like some teenaged boy and gawk at the pretty little girl. I am not.

I just glanced down. Once.

She apologizes. Why is she always apologizing to me? Do I seem angry? I'm thrilled. I'm barely able to contain myself. Why do I just want to touch her? She needs me to be her friend, nothing more. This is just not smart. Dinah and Church already think there's something going on between us, and Dinah just wants gossip, but Church wants an angle. What do I have to offer? Nothing, I have nothing!

I lose a year of my life and what do I worry about? My fraking storage unit. Because that's all there is of me besides right here. She's got a career, she's an artist, she wants to command her own ship. She touches things and makes them better.

My tablet pings. I glance at it, but don't acknowledge.

"Isn't that kind of pitiful? I mean," I turn my head like I'm talking to someone else, "Hey Doc, you know, wouldn't it be great if you could allow some toxins in my body so I can make shitty decisions and dance topless on tables?" I give her a smile, but I'm not feeling great about being the girl who could have more fun if somebody would just upgrade her warez.

"I should..." I look down at the tablet again. "The Cap is pinging me." I show her the message.

Mischa

[Mei]

I'm worried about Ksenia. Clearly, I've said the wrong thing. There's a lot going on and I see some of it in her face. Very well, Mei. She's your friend. Don't fuck it up just because you want... you don't even know what you want. I breathe easy, nodding along, agreeing. "If that's how you feel, Ksenia." I can still have a beer with Sung and Sanchez, jawing and playing cards. There's nothing wrong with camaraderie along the ranks.

I glance at her tablet, the message from Dai. "So late? I hope nothing's wrong with the Jane. Let me know if you two need anything." Duty calls. I understand. I'll pick up my own tablet a little slowly and settle in to look for something to read, or a puzzle game.

I need a cold shower. Or a hot one.

Rich

[Ksenia Cribbage]

My hand's on her hip, since she moved her calf away. It just jumps out there. Damnit hand. You're my real hand, why do you keep betraying me? "I'm not mad, Taban..."

And that's it. That's where my mouth stopped working.

In my head, I kept talking, just put it out there, "It's just, the explosion, the surgeries, there's not much of me left. I'm this Frankenstein's monster that walks and talks like a duck, so everyone squints real hard and calls me a duck. But I'm not. I'm not human anymore. I don't eat, I have more titanium on me than flesh. And it's hard to keep trying to be normal, to pretend. The idea of some mechanical adjustment to make me more like... like a person. It just reminds me how much I'm wrong."

As my brain reveals all that stuff my mouth won't let through, I guess I'm just looking at her. Finally, I un-clench my jaw, "I'll let you know." I know what I need. But it isn't what you need, Mei.

I pull my hand back, start walking for the door. Leaving her behind. And it hurts a little.

Mischa

[Mei]

Ksenia rests her hand on my hip, and I hope, ready to see what happens. I look up at her, she is still taller than me. I move my hand to cover hers, but I've waited too long and her hand moves away... nothing.

She's just looking at me and I half think she's going to kiss me. But I feel a little haze from my psi, a little something from being this close, then nothing.

And she looks like she comes to a decision, and snaps closed. Nothing.

I'm surprised to hear me make a sad little disappointed sigh right when she gets to the door. I wonder if she heard it. Who am I kidding, she's got super hearing augments, right? She knows.

I guess she's not interested.

WPTunes

Mei, and with that, Ksenia is gone. Your hip is warm where she touched it and you feel the weight of weeks of unsaid words and aborted maneuvers and incomplete gestures, overlaid with the tingle of frustrated desire. Do you stay in your quarters? Seek out company? What do you do?

Mischa

[Mei]

I'm let down in myself. Clearly, I can't say the right thing and I drive her away. I know I'm plenty capable and a kick-ass Spacer, but I don't know what to say to Ksenia. Is this how it is now? Or worse yet, what if she's only into one gender? Mars is a little backwater. Great, Mei.

Most people are winding up for the night, I wouldn't want to be a bother. I gather my thoughts. I work on the mission plan, drafting and discarding. I think about Ksenia. I work on a sketch of my terrarium, with little space-suited people among the tiny shrimps- I'm not sure how to work in a ship, so I try a few doodles and discard them. I feel a little pressure from the psi block, the day's strain making me a little more tired than usual. I could stay up for another hour and read this book Ksenia suggested, but I need some rest.


And satisfaction.


I'll turn down the lights, seeking release. For long moments, I think about Ksenia and Dai and improbably delightful contortions. There's eight of us on this bucket. I can only imagine what Sung and Sanchez might get up to, and I do.



In the absense of company, sleep can take me.

WPTunes

Mei, the lights are down and you "seek release." As you feel your pleasure build, thinking, imagining Ksenia and the Captain, Sung and Sanchez, you taste a hexagon on your tongue and for a brief moment you feel Ksenia, trembling with desire and uncertainty, brain signaling organs that she no longer has, replacing non-existent hormones with electrical impulses. You know for that second that her pupils are dilated, nostrils flared, nipples erect, and your hand between your legs feels like metal. The moment passes, and you find the release you sought.

Sleep. Deep and dreamless, despite the pressure against your defenses.

--END SCENE--