[Ninja Burger] Writer's Summit

edited August 2014 in PnR
Mitsui-san, as I promised, there are deliveries waiting for you when you return. I inform you when you come in, "Mitsui-san, you've got a good one. Robert Queen, the famous writer, is here in town on a novel-writing hermitage. He's ordered two double ninja burgers and wants them in the traditional thirty minutes. He's up on Lover's Leap cliff, though. We're still short a car. The climb is very steep.... GOOD LUCK!" Your bag is waiting under the heat lamp, still fresh from the grill.

Comments

  • Mitsui is not afraid of heights. As a bonus, Mitsui is unlikely to encounter leaky toddlers while climbing a steep cliff.

    "Yes, Sensei!" I grab the bag and head for the door. Sensei, how far is it to Lover's Leap?
  • Lover's Leap is on the outskirts of town, a place where construction was built up to a small mountain. The only way to reach the summit where a few very expensive homes have been recently built, is to climb it, or take a car the long way around.

    It is a fifteen minute jog from the store, since as a highly trained ninja, you run seven minute miles. If you wish to push yourself, you can roll against a difficulty seven. For every 2 over the target number, you may subtract one minute from your jogging time.
  • edited August 2014
    Mitsui is not just a highly trained ninja. Mitsui is a highly trained and motivated ninja who is a ninja go-getter and a ninja self-started. Mitsui will push himself for the sake of a minute or two to deal with later complications.

    I take off running down the street, tabi boots silent on the concrete. I dodge between cars and at one point even jump from the top of one moving taxi to another to gain that spare second.
  • Roll

    Deliverator +2, GTFO +2

    (Rolled: 2d6+4. Rolls: 3, 5. Total: 12)
  • edited August 2014
    Wow, you are burning up the road! That's +5 over, so you make it to the foot of Lover's Leap in twelve and a half minutes!

    The area is clear from homes, so you can start climbing right away....

    However, you see halfway up the cliff is a beautiful samurai-ko who is returning from a delivery. She wears the armor of Samurai Burger, and it looks like it is none other than Nakano Rion-chan!

    image

    Why is it that you and her don't get along, Mitsui-san? What do you do?
  • edited August 2014
    If Mitsui was the type of Ninja who cursed, he would say "Shit."

    At last year's annual Ninja Burger vs. Samurai Burger softball game, while Mitsui was warming up in the on-deck circle, the Samurai Burger coach substituted Nakano Rion-chan in at First Base. Mitsui immediately went dreamy, but of course it was a forbidden love: Samurai and Ninja can never fraternize.

    blah, blah, blah

    I saw a cute girl, but still managed to hit a single. As I was waiting on base for Tetsuo to finally swing at something, she smiled and said, "Nice hit for a Ninja..." To which I responded, "Uhm. Did you know that a pig's orgasm can last for up to 30 minutes?" Needless to say, we never did get the chance to become star-crossed lovers.

    Mitsui sees only one path to achieving this delivery. Mitsui begins to climb, hoping to avoid contact through swift and crafty footwork.
  • Hopping down at ten to twenty foot leaps at a time, Rion-chan stops about a hundred feet above, then sees you. "Mitsui! Do you come up here to challenge me?!?" Her katana flashes from its scabbard.
  • "Nakano-chan! I do not wish to harm you, so let me pass and I will return the courtesy! It is not as if you are a pirate, after all!" ...is what I intend to say.

    What I actually say is: "Nakano-chan! I am your adoring servant, so come give me a big kiss! It is not as if we are sworn enemies, after all!"

    Mitsui is about to become the sort of Ninja that says "Shit."
  • image
    She nearly snarls at you, then leaps from ledge to ledge down towards you.

    "Mitsui-san! I don't think she's coming to kiss you!" I call over the radio. I forget to stop transmitting, so you overhear me say, "Asane-chan. Mitsui-san is about to fight Rion-chan. What odds do you give for him surviving? .....really? I'll put fifty on him, then!"
  • Mitsui has trained and prepared for this moment. When steel is involved, Mitsui is a fighter, not a lover.

    I reach into the pouch at my left side for a loose cloth bundle about the side of a ninja golf ball, filled with itching powder. Ready to throw, I pull my katana from its saya. My feet are apart, loose, without that crazy samurai rigidity and pomp. I'm ready.

    As Nakano crosses the last few yards, "Sensei, what are the odds, and can you put five for me on Rion-chan?"

  • "Twenty to one, Mitsui-san." I reply with glee. "I will put your five on Rion-chan... wait-what?"

    Nakano-Rion comes down at you, both hands on her katana poised for a downward chopping blow. "Heeeeeyyai!"

    If you want to duck her blow, that's difficulty 7. If you want to hit her with the powder, you'll need a 9.
  • Ninja don't take the moral high ground. Mitsui doesn't either.

    I toss the itching powder into Nakano-Rion's face, feeling like a heel. Whatever that means.
  • Roll

    Deliverator (+2), Dirty Tricks (+2)

    (Rolled: 2d6+4. Rolls: 5, 3. Total: 12)
  • I see it on a "neighborhood watch" camera, Mitsui-san. The picture is grainy, but I clearly see you reach a small ledge as she's coming down. Then, you roll to the left, her katana misses you by inches. You're right beside her when you throw the itching powder onto her face and body.

    Nakano-chan throws an arm up, but too late. The burning powder gets her good! She staggers a couple steps to her right, away from you, the katana barely held in her right hand. Her right foot is on the very precipice of the ledge you two are standing on. A simple shove would finish her off.

    "Send her flying, Mitsui-san! Money's on the line!" Not to mention timing, too. Clock's ticking.

    Or you could just climb up. But you know she'll come up after you...
  • edited August 2014
    image

    Mitsui develops a plan in the blink of an eye!

    I reach out toward Nakano-chan, and Sensei, you probably think I'm going to push her like you said. Instead, I grab the end of her uwa-obi and pull. It unravels and sends her spinning back toward the cliff wall. I kick out at her katana as I leap for the next handhold, hopefully sending the weapon flying, rather than Nakano.
  • Why did you not push her? She is one of Samurai Burger's top employees! Our entire store would gain honor! Mitsui-san, you are foolish. This will come back on you. TWENTY TO ONE ODDS!

    But I keep that all inside.

    Her uwa-obi comes away and yes, she spins, not very gracefully, with one hand up over her face, the other clutching her ancestral katana. Her kimono top comes completely undone, and you see her small undershirt, which is a Badtzmaru tank top. Sort of cute.

    not Rion's body!:
    image

    She drops her katana to try and hide her body, still scratching at her eyes. Snot, Mitsui-san, snot is forming at her nose and her eyes are tearing up.

    "Go! Go! Go!" I roder over the radio. You need to get going. That climb and fight took a minute and a half. You've got fifteen minutes left.

    "Gunna kill youuuu," Nakano-chan wails as she falls to the ground, hiding her body and trying to find her water bottle.
  • image

    Mitsui knows that a Ninja is nothing without a Nemesis. A hot, hot Nemesis.

    A smile quirks my lips. I try to blow Nakano-chan a kiss, but wind up accidentally sticking my finger up my nose. There is climbing to be done, though! Ledge to ledge, handhold to handhold, I hop up the slope with all the majesty and grace of a Hopping Hippo.

    Fifteen minutes? Mitsui could take a break for a cigarette and some delicious stinky nattō.
  • The climb is easy enough, but takes another five minutes. You've got ten left, Mitsui-san!

    On the top of this cliff, there are four houses, all built to overlook the city with big wide windows and wrap-around decks. No house numbers. They are all pretty much the same layout and exterior (there's only one really good architect in town). Of course, they're huge, and owned by recluses. Which means they're technically off the grid.

    "Mitsui-san. I'm not sure which house is the right one. I see lights on in three of them. One is having a party. You should have enough time to knock on each door. Good luck!"
  • image

    Mitsui thinks for one second, then acts. If Robert Queen is hermitted-up for a little writing time, he's probably not having a party. The dark house first! Where else?

    "Sensei, we don't have the address?" Then I knock on the door.
  • "Mitsui-san, we do and we do not. It is number 4 Lover's Leap."

    Of course, that should mean, if there are only four total, you can eliminate the two in the middle, which is dark house, and one lights on but not party house.
  • Mitsui has already committed to the sound of one hand knocking. On the door of the dark house. Does anyone answer?
  • No one answers immediately.

    You hear no sounds of walking or movement inside.

    How long do you knock and wait?
  • Mitsui has no time for this foolishness.

    I move to the house on the end, with the party. Ninja knocks are firm and demanding, requiring attention even in the midst of merriment. Knock Knock Knock! says my fist!
  • Eight minutes left.

    You hear the telltale signs of footfalls mixed in with the kickin' dubstep tunes from inside the party. The door swings wide and a guy in his thirties wearing a stylish button-down shirt and black slacks with a slightly receding hairline answers the door. He looks at you, then past you, "Hello?"
  • "Ah... delivery for Robert Queen?" Mitsui is no judge of who is a bestselling novelist and who isn't, but this person doesn't seem to be one.
  • edited August 2014
    You see behind him are a couple of women in bikinis, heading out to the hot tub. Trust me when I say, you're lucky you don't have eyes on the hot tub, Mitsui-san. You would fail at your delivery.

    "The author?" receding-hairline guys asks-confirms. "Three houses over." He points the other way.

    I call to you over the radio, "Mitsui-san. Six and a half minutes. You've got this one easy."

    One of the blondes, in this tiny dental-floss-disguised-as-a-bathing-suit turns, sees you and waves, "Hey!"
  • Mitsui must not be distracted. Certainly not now.

    But, oh my, how does that thing even stay on? I waste 15 seconds staring, then turn and run like the wind to the house at the other end of the row. Once again, Knock knock knock!
  • The creak of the house telling you someone is coming to the door takes longer. You have less than five minutes. You see the light through the peephole darken. Then, an older man's voice calls, "Who is it?"
  • "Delivery, sir. Ninja Burger for Robert Queen!"
  • You hear a click-click of locks, then the door opens. It's a bearded man in a robe and bunny slippers, alone, quiet house. There's an impressive amount of art on the walls, opulent, even. He eyes you from behind his spectacles and he says, "Alright, good." He hands you a crisp fifty and holds a hand out for the bag.
  • When Mitsui is not delivering the world's stealthiest fast food, Mitsui likes long walks on the beach, sunsets, and relaxing with a good book. Robert Queen's Firestopper is one of Mitsui's all time favorites, but Mitsui keeps current.

    "Big fan, Mr. Queen." Does this man look like the book-cover pictures?
  • He does indeed look like his book covers.

    "Thank you." he says it with a humble tone. He looks tired. He hands you the money, "Keep the change.". As you're handing him the bag of food, you hear the sound of someone running through high grass from behind you.

    "Mitsui-san!" I call with alarm. "Watch out for Rion!"
  • I shove the bag at Mr. Queen. "Take food, get inside!" I turn to face my dear enemy, drawing my jitte and katana. "Nakano-chan, you are so beautiful when you are angry!" I don't even know what I meant to say that time, but it wasn't that.

  • Robert queen quickly closes the door, leaving you on his front porch, a sturdy wooden one.

    Nakano-chan stops running at you from behind when you turn to face her. Her right eye is red and still twitching. There are red rash marks along her face and neck, running all the way down to hide behind her black tank top. It seems her sash is lost. She's angry. Not exactly beautiful, though. And yes, there is some snot running, along with heavy tears flowing.

    "You.... you suck, Mitsui." She stands there, katana still sheathed, fists clenched, fuming.
  • What I mean to say is, "I... I'm sorry, Nakano-chan?" I really hope that's what actually comes out of my mouth.
  • Well, a simply apology should be easy for you to pull off... oh, right.

    Difficulty 7, but you have to use your Weakness. And, you're not deliverating, are you?

    Tough one, Mitsui. Good luck.

    "Kick her ass, Mitsui-san!" I yell over the radio, "I've got money riding! You, too!"
  • Roll

    Talking to Girls (-2)

    (Rolled: 2d6-2. Rolls: 1, 3. Total: 2)
  • So... what I actually say is, "I... I'm horny, Nakano-chan." Wait, what?

    Mitsui has just become the sort of Ninja that says shit.

    "Shit."
  • That particular vantage spot has no cameras, Mitsui-san. By the time I pull down a satellite image it is over. I did, however, hear Nakano-chan's grunts of effort and hiyahs as she kicked your ass.

    When I do see you, I'm honestly surprised you're still alive. "She didn't kill you, Mitsui-san? She must be getting soft. I lost money on you, Ninja!"

    Then, I realize you're probably going to be unable to deliver anymore tonight, I add, "Take the rest of the night off, Mitsui-san."
  • I blow out a breath. "Fine, Sensei. Sorry about your loss."

    Mitsui completed the delivery, so that's something, but Mitsui was publicly humiliated by a Samurai. And a woman.

    Damn, though. What a woman.
  • --END SCENE--
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