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[Snowpocalypse] Seven Months Later (H 6.1, S 6.1)
Seven months have passed since the sub was buried in ice and snow (and subsequently unburied by Lemma) and Silica and Hadden escaped Benton Harbor with the help of Rossi.
The sub, which now has a name (ask Lemma what it is!), has become an actual, honest-to-goodness hold. Invert runs security with her gang, Arbor is in charge of the new miners who mine north, away from Underlake's claims. The food isn't plentiful, but it's subsistence. While Lemma is the workhorse behind the place, there's a go-to person, a hardholder who runs things: Tamedog. He's got a knack for getting people to work together, and while his methods are sometimes direct, sometimes brutal, he's smart enough to pick his spots.
Some updates on surrounding areas:
Roxy and Molotov moved out of Chi-town, heading south. Burton has taken over the place, kept the name, reorganized the gang in charge of security. You've heard Never Summer was kicked out, that Trespass and Disaster are running the gang together now.
Underlake is still cut off from the world, and people are hurting for food, big time. There have been weekly gift offerings from Crossover and BM's, but Merrell has refused them.
Backside Misty passed on. The power is up and down there. Artec is running the place with some Lostkeys as help. The Amp Heads are running their own thing at Crossover. But nobody crosses-over to Underlake anymore, so they're a small clan at best, things are rough.
Hadden, you got this message from Poptart this morning. Where are you staying now? In the sub, I assume?
Your crew is still around, unless you've gotten rid of them. Handplant is still out there with Hitec, but she shows up for work. CTO is still your silent shadow. You've picked up another crew member, too. Who's that?
Also, Hadden, let's see Moonlighting, okay?
Silica, why don't you give me a roll+Weird to see how things are going for you? On a 7-9, choose one option from the little list below. On a 10+, choose two.
* K2's addiction to you has been broken
* K2's addiction to ice has been broken
* Somebody paid off T Dog and Wildchild, but they refuse to sell you anymore ice
* You can cook your own ice now, takes 1 barter of mats, but yields 3 barter worth of ice
The sub, which now has a name (ask Lemma what it is!), has become an actual, honest-to-goodness hold. Invert runs security with her gang, Arbor is in charge of the new miners who mine north, away from Underlake's claims. The food isn't plentiful, but it's subsistence. While Lemma is the workhorse behind the place, there's a go-to person, a hardholder who runs things: Tamedog. He's got a knack for getting people to work together, and while his methods are sometimes direct, sometimes brutal, he's smart enough to pick his spots.
Some updates on surrounding areas:
Roxy and Molotov moved out of Chi-town, heading south. Burton has taken over the place, kept the name, reorganized the gang in charge of security. You've heard Never Summer was kicked out, that Trespass and Disaster are running the gang together now.
Underlake is still cut off from the world, and people are hurting for food, big time. There have been weekly gift offerings from Crossover and BM's, but Merrell has refused them.
Backside Misty passed on. The power is up and down there. Artec is running the place with some Lostkeys as help. The Amp Heads are running their own thing at Crossover. But nobody crosses-over to Underlake anymore, so they're a small clan at best, things are rough.
Hadden, you got this message from Poptart this morning. Where are you staying now? In the sub, I assume?
Tindy went into labor this morning, Hadden.
Merr is still going to kill her when her son is born.
Slash is dead. Lashfight was married off to one of
Merr's thugs. We need you.
- MimsyYour crew is still around, unless you've gotten rid of them. Handplant is still out there with Hitec, but she shows up for work. CTO is still your silent shadow. You've picked up another crew member, too. Who's that?
Also, Hadden, let's see Moonlighting, okay?
Silica, why don't you give me a roll+Weird to see how things are going for you? On a 7-9, choose one option from the little list below. On a 10+, choose two.
* K2's addiction to you has been broken
* K2's addiction to ice has been broken
* Somebody paid off T Dog and Wildchild, but they refuse to sell you anymore ice
* You can cook your own ice now, takes 1 barter of mats, but yields 3 barter worth of ice
Comments
Lesse how things are going huh? Sure. Can't be worse than the last couple of months.
(Rolled: 2d6+3. Rolls: 2, 6. Total: 11)
Yeah things been good right?
Yeah fuck those assholes at the pet shop, they always treated me like shit so fuck 'em and their fucking ice. I cook my own now, make a batch every month or two. It ain't so hard once you know what's what...
They probably still think I owe 'em, or they think I'm dead in a ditch somewhere. Those fuckers can't be bothered to leave their fucking trailer to take a piss so I don't expect a visit. Fuck em.
Kaykays still droolin' over me all weird when I see her, which ain't that often. Makes me feel shitty... and I don't like feelin' shitty. At least she stopped takin' that shit ice. I was gonna start givin' her the good stuff just to keep that shit out of her system but her mom musta' got hold of her and smacked some sense into the girl. Don't try to be like me, Kaykay, it sucks.
But it's all good... nightmares come a little further between now. Running work on my own fuckin' terms. I wonder if Hadden's noticed how often I'm hanging around. Not makin' myself into a problem. But if he needs me I'm here.... he's got my scars on him good at forever now, too... ain't never gonna forget.
Work's been, you know, work. Things are different. Don't know if I like it. I still miss Oakley, and Molotov. Handplant's been good to me, but things with K2 are still weird. Seems like there's never time to talk about Hitec, either. I'm worried about her, and I know she worries about me.
Really miss Squirrel. Brother Rat was caught on this side of Underlake when nutless closed, so he's been running with K2 for gigs... I like him. Silica occasionally does work, too, but I don't put the two of them together less'n I have to.
I miss Backside Misty. She always had a bit of sweetness, even until the end. She had a big sendoff by the flats. Everyone came, told stories. Even Ortapoff the firewatcher spoke. Backside Misty herself then went with Brother Signal and the Preservers for the end of it all. Stalefish still be a jerk sometimes, so there's rooms free.
Did you hear? I killed someone else. A couple assholes from Benton tried to settle for Jax. I don't like that it was easy. Easier, maybe. All I wanted to do was send some jingle back for Shelley. Didn't go the way I hoped.
I got a couple places to hang my jacket. Sometimes by Lemma's, sometimes by the flats, sometimes with Em-Six-Teen, sometimes wherever with Silica. You know me. I'm not nailed down. Glad I was here last night for when Poptart found me.
Mom's message sends me spinny. The world goes dim before it goes red. The sibs? Slash is dead? Slash? Lashfight got married off like a... like a... I can't even think. And the baby.
Fuck.
I gotta get into Underlake.
Where are you making deliveries? Who needs deals brokered?
With the Skegs and Stink Bug's crew torn up, folks need crap moved more than ever. Mostly from Artec and Stalefish, they've got a nice setup there with Backside Misty gone.
Burton's been pretty active, what with the change in management. She been working to get supplies for the brothel and for their protection and such. And food and customers, natch. Therefore and all, Hadden.
(Rolled: 2d6+3. Rolls: 3, 6. Total: 12)
How am I keeping them happy?
Tindy was the hardest and the easiest. I know she's alone and slowly losing it, so I arranged for books to get to her, crosswords and old novels. Very tricky to get that shit in, let me tell you. But that same guard wasn't opposed to taking an extra jingle here and there.
K2 needs work and something to occupy her. So I send her on gigs, try to help her learn to stay out of trouble, make better choices. I don't think she wants to spend time with me exactly, but I try to keep up that faint song in the tunnel. I ask Handplant for advice, too.
Silica... how the fuck to keep her happy? Nail her to a mattress as often as possible and just talk to her. She's got the thing with her dad, with whatever's going on in her head, with Rossi. So I'm mostly spending attention and focus there. Still haven't found any marshmallows.
You were up on top of the lake, because, well, somebody who can handle a storm like this needs to check the tether lines and anyone else would have to bulk up so much they couldn't feel the lines.
I've got a question, Silica. Are you selling any of your ice? Got any customers, or keeping it to yourself?
The wind's whistling around your ears, and man, even with the ice, you swear it does feel cold. Hasn't been this bad in a long time. A regular person would get frostbite up here in minutes. Dead soon after.
You spot something out on the ice, something about the size of a small child. Like a baby or something. At least, that's what you think you see at first. Then you spot the wings. It's a bird, a damn bird, probably got so much ice on its wings it can't fly.
Its hard to tell for sure, but it looks like Lunch. You'd have to leave the tether line to get check for sure, and then it'll be a bitch making sure you don't lose your bearing during the white-out here.
What do you do?
Arbor delivered the message, woke you up. He left you there, in Em's little flat. Of course, he stole a couple glances at her, because Em. After the door closed, Em got up out of her cot, nude, came over to you, slipping arms around your waist, trying to look over your shoulder.
"Haddy," she breathes in your ear, "You look like you seen a ghost. What the what, babe?" She's really started to relax around you.
Hey Hadden, when Invert hit on you the other day, how did you handle that?
With Invert, I flirted back, of course. I want to stay friendly. But between Silica and K2 and Em-Six-Teen, my dance card is a little full. But that's aside the point.
I look at her, swallow, get it together. A little faintly, I say, "My brother's dead." I blink a few times. "And my sister's been married off, and Merrell about to zilch Tindy." Does Em-Six-Teen want kids? Arbor makes me think about her that way. "I gotta get to Underlake."
Cold ain't that much of a problem but the wind fuckin' bites. Snow feels like razors on my skin... day like this I got my jeans on, hoodie down to my wrists... nobody out here I gotta impress, don't give a shit.
Honest work I guess, at least... I keep my ice to myself. It's good stuff I cook up but I don't wanna fuck up anyone else... they don't need this life. Ain't no worse that any other I guess but it feels like it's mine.
I see the bird struggling, a hand on the line sort of hanging on. I try to ignore it but I keep lookin' over.
"Yeah?" I shout at it, though it can't possibly hear me over the wind, "now you show up to ruin my day? You think I owe you or something?" I turn back to the lines but I can't ignore it. Bird saved my life... sort of... couple of times.
Fuck.
With an exasperated groan I hop down to the ice, cover my eyes with a raised arm and head for the bird... hell, can't have it dying, right? Fucker matches my shirt.
I'll go save Lunch.
Em's lower lip pooches out, her version of a frown, unhappy with your stress. "Arbor knows the way. I'll come with." Yeah, Em likes kids. She wouldn't mind having one, someday. She disentangles herself from you and gets dressed quickly, checking her pistol and her M-16, clearing chambers. The assault rifle only has one clip left. "Do you love Tindy, Hadden? And... what about Silica?"
You clamber over the ice towards Lunch. You know it's Lunch right off, as soon as he looks up to see you. He tries to stand up, but falls. That's when you see the line. The thin tether tied to his right foot.
That tether strings along, mostly hidden by snow, all the way to a few feet away, which in this snow could be forever. There, squatting under a lean-to, is Wildchild. She's got her head cocked to one side, smiling at you.
"I knew this fucken bird was yours! hahahahaha, I'm gonna let it watch me eat ya." She pulls out a nice long skinning knife with her left hand, but she's still squatted down. Probably expects you to run.
What do you do?
Cold daggers suddenly run through me. I walked right into this shit again. For a fucking bird? Ain't nobody around neither with the storm... fuck.
Out of habit I raise a hand, palm out... like I don't want no trouble. "Hey there ain't no shit 'tween us, Wild, things went bad you know? Got bigger problems... that shit's done.... didn't work, ok?"
Yeah like she's going to take that for an answer... she won't forget. She's always hated me. I wonder it Dog's around... doubt it but I'm already surprised to see her out here. Nothing should surprise me... I keep alert and slowly back off.
(Rolled: 2d6+2. Rolls: 1, 6. Total: 9)
Best way out? You're looking at the gaunt face of Wildchild, the hungry look in her eyes. She's starving, Silica. Offer to pay her back, offer her customers, something so she can eat. She's blaming you for all the shit that's happened since they sent you off with all that ice.
You know T-Dog is around, probably snuck around to the tether, waiting for you to run. They're not going to kill you. But they will take things out on you if you don't turn this around quick.
One hand raised and opened still, chill, girl... I speak loud enough for whoever to hear.
"Look Wild... what'cha wnat outta this? You know I ain't packin' big chips, I'm just gettin' by too, right? Got that shit boosted and almost got my ass capped back then... been tryin' to get even..."
I look around without trying to look like I am, find him... don't want T-Dog sneakin' up on me.
"I get us square ok? Then you never gotta see me again..."
"Gonna get square outta yer skinny ass, Sil!" She takes a step forward, obviously drawing your focus. But you were watching for it. T-Dog's behind you, moving up. He looks rough, two thin cuts running the length of his left cheek.
But instead of jumping you, he says, "Hold up, Wild." He holds up a hand, not unlike yours. "Fucken Silica. You ripped us off. How you gonna make it square?"
It's hard not to smile actually seeing the cuts on him. Guy's always on top of shit right? I picture one of these fuckin' girls he ruins takin' in out on his skin. Like I shoulda.
"I got proper work now... pay ya back solid... two, three weeks. More than I owe you, all right?"
Just trying to keep this cool. Fuck... I run through in my mind what to do if this goes bad. Whatever happens I ain't letting them jump me and come away clean. Ain't gonna live like that. I don't keep my gun at hand, usually in my pack... but I got the cold metal spanner I been bangin' the lines with.
Hanging from a string and stuck in my hoodie pocket... could whack 'em good with that.
"Bullshit!" T Dog says, moving in close, standing over you.
Wildchild burbles, "I bet if we cut her ass up, we could suck ice outta the marrow o' her bones, Tee"
T Dog looks over at her, curling a lip, "That's fucken sick." Then, to you, "Pay up, Silica."
I think the promise of some jingle gives you a chance to try and Manipulate them. Since you're acting on the Read results, take a +1. Let's see how this goes.
Em-Six-Teen's question catches me as I'm half-dressed, no boots, shirts not fully over my head. Love? I pop my head through the neck, regarding her. Still thinking about the fam. Slash is dead. Lashfight treated like a thing. Mom. "Of course, Tindy's family. Silica might as well be, too." By that, I guess I love K2 and CTO and Rossi and Jester and Arbor and Squirrel and Handplant. Better not tell her, Hitec'll go boom upside my head.
I sit down, lacing up boots and checking my pistols. "But I know what you're asking. It's complicated. I haven't thunk through it all the way. Seems like there's never time." Fuck, Slash is gone. He's out of time, too. I feel my eyes getting wet. Gotta set that aside. Merrell's gonna eat a fucking bullet salad with a side of crossbow.
I have my hand against my head, maybe to hold in the feelings. She presents a nice profile in the dim light. "What about you, Em-Six-Teen?" I ask quietly.
I tense up as he nears. I hate this, men always use their size to get to me. What am I supposed to do? I weigh half what he does... fuck. Makes me mad... I clench a fist at my side and try to keep cool.
"Ok ok..." I lower my pack from my shoulder. It's got all my shit in it except my ice and a few little things I keep in my pockets. I hold it out to him. "This is all I got, allright? Fuckin' take it... leave me the fuck alone."
What's it worth? A jingle, two maybe... some cd's, change of clothes, those tools I found... the silencer in there must be worth something. HP's revolver and a handful of bullets... my change of clothes. Not that I want Wild wearing my fucking panties.
I just hold it out to him and hope he takes it and leaves me be.
(Rolled: 2d6. Rolls: 1, 1. Total: 2)
xp(2)
Wildchild scoops up the stuff, putting her knife away. T-Dog shoves you down, "Not good enough, Silica! This is a start, so I won't beat your ass too bad. But you fucked us hard. You coulda been in the club, but you're just some dumb little skank." He nudges you with his boot, probably sizing you up for a kick.
"Ass? Or Ice? Which one, Silica?"
She's lacing up her combat boots, giving you space while you talk, pause, talk some more. She's down at your level when you ask about her. She looks up, and her mouth quirks a bit like she hadn't expected it. "Uhm... I..." She bites her lower lip, answers softly like she's worried this could be bad, "I don't love you, Hadden. I like the, uhm... the sex. A bunch. You're really bendy." She offers that lopsided smile of hers. Stands up and walks over to stand near you.
"I don't love anybody." she lies. Noticing you're holding your head, she steps closer, reaching out to gently pull your head close. It's almost a motherly gesture, just offering comfort. Her fingers lace in your hair. "I'm kicking you out of my bed, Hadden. We're going to save Tindy and your kid, and then you're going to think it through. All the way." She pulls your chin up so you look at her, "Okay?"
Em scruffs your hair playfully, and adds, "If after your thinking you want to come back, I'll fuck your brains out." She snickers, then drops her hand and walks over to pick up her guns again.
I nod, it's on the up-and-up. Never enough time. I get a steel look in my eye. "And my sister. Revenge for my brother. And my dad." I stand up, get my jacket and set my pistols. I wonder who she really loves.
"And being bendy? It's a skill." I grin with pride, ruff her hair - what little she's got, it's soft and nice - right back and we head out.
They got me cold... trapped huh? I could try and fight, put them down or something but I'm outnumbered and it's not like I really trust my brain... never had to handle two fuckers. And you know what... they're right. I fucked up. I'll never admit it out loud but yeah...
T-Dog shoves me down to the rough ice and kicks me. I just weakly raise my hand defensively. "OK... ok fuck... I see how it is..." Something in my head is broken... thought maybe I left this shit behind but here they are like they're fuckin' haunting me.
I rise up to my knees and face T-Dog, nodding slightly. I reach out to undo his belt and drop his pants... I'll pay my debts. Fuckin' pay with the only thing I got left.
Yeah I suck him off... kneeling here like his little runaway bitch. I do it good and hope that's enough... Wildcat watchin' and probably jeering at me the whole time. Fucking bitch. I wanna make that stupid bitch hurt.
I hate this... I hate him. Reminds me of the days I'm trying to forget. But is this my life? This the best I can do?
Fuck.
T Dog grabs your hair roughly, using you like an animal, pulling and pushing you around. Yeah, Wildchild is calling you names as he fucks your face. She keeps moving up, telling you to take it like the whore you are.
After what feels like forever, T Dog finishes. He holds your head still as he makes you drink every drop, then shoves you back down to the snow. "I'm done with you."
Wildchild skips over to kick you right in the chest as hard as she can (Take 1 Harm). As you're gasping, she leans down and says, "Now I'M done with you, too!"
They pick up your stuff, even your clothes. They start walking off, into the snow. Wildchild pauses fiddling with something for a moment, but you can't see what she's doing because her back is to you. Then you see the gun, the one Handplant gave you. She casually fires a couple bullets.
Into Lunch.
The bird jerks once, then lies still. Wildchild calls into the wind and snow, "I lied! NOW.... I'm done." Then, they're gone.
Yeah he's not the worst thing that's happened to me, but he's the worst in a while and it fucking sucks.
I choke and cough as he throws me down to the ground, done with me. The taste of his filth in my mouth as I try not to throw up... he'd probably make me hurt more for it knowing the fucker.
She kicks me, sending me gasping onto my side. I want to rise up and fuckin' scratch the shit out of her, leave my mark... but fuck it. It's done... I'll never see them again. Fuck...
Then she kills... my bird... and I rise half up, my face an angry and hurt snarl... but she's holding my fucking gun and I don't say a word. I just fight the tears and cough... holding my middle with one hand and getting upright with the other.
Soon as they're out of sight I throw up into the snow, retching from the pain and abuse.
Then...
I lay out on my back, hood down, let the wind blow stinging frost against my skin as I take ragged breaths and look up at the ruined sky.
Yeah my fucking life.
But here I am and all I got is me.
Is that all I need?
Please go here.
You head back towards the sub, back down to find someone, right?
Someone finds you. It's K2. Of course. She is coming up the same tunnel you were heading down. The tunnel, by the by, is a pretty steep grade, dug with a mining device, big enough for one or two to walk up or down. It criss-crosses so you won't fall far if you slide down. You're headed down when the sunlight shows K2 coming up.
She is dressed in a thick coat, hair's growing out a little lately. You see the cold in her breath when she asks, "Silly... are you? Are you okay?" She was coming up for you, maybe.
Of course.
Yeah I look like shit. What else is new?
I answer her, "hey uh... yeah big fuckin' storm..." I gesture over my shoulder, "wind's brutal, Kaykay... should keep your head down."
I stand there a second, keeping my footing on the slippery switchbacks. The fingertips of one arm against the wall.
It's been a while, I ask, "how you gettin' by these days?"
K2 keeps moving towards you, peering at you, over your body. You're probably at least red on your chest, maybe your face is looking a little rough. Something, she's picking up something. "I'm not going up there, Silly." She stops when she's a foot or so away, close enough without setting off your personal bubble.
"What happened? Who... hurt you?" She's looking from eye to eye, her mouth is a thin line, she is getting that protective look you've seen on her mother's face.
I shake my head, "pfft... it's just some old bullshit. Don't mean nothin' ok?" Sure it doesn't. It means a lot. But Kaykay ain't gonna help me, not any way I want.
I look at her for a second, a terrible thought going through my head. I blink it away.
"Hey I'm starvin'... gonna get a bite." I start walking past her. If she walks with me, fine, but I'm not inviting her.
She turns on, starts walking down with you. She has to walk careful, the ice and snow making the grade tough to manage, but she's keeping up. Does that bow-legged walk. "I've got some trade, we could get Poppy to cook up something. Got a bottle of rum from Forum, too." She is watching you as much as the ground. Maybe more you.
Nobody else in the tunnel, it'll be a ten minute walk, probably. Quicker to slide, but well, then bumps and bruises, might slide over something sharp, then you're in a world of hurt.
Why the fuck would I want to slide?
I sigh loudly, almost stop and say something, but truth is I ain't got shit to trade for food right now, let her fuckin' treat me.
"Sure, sure ok..." I say without a lot of thought. She wants to set me up I'm good. She wants to look at my ass for her trouble, fuckin' go for it.
"Silly..." K2 says quietly, her voice coming as much from echo as the source, "I wanted to apologize. Been meaning to for a while." She swallows, "I know I pushed you real hard, and that wasn't fair. I... I was running from lots of things, and I thought running to you would make it all better. Just felt so good being with you and..." The words die off, like she went off track.
"Listen, we were never friends before. Both sorta hated each other." She tries to reason it out, the words sound maybe a little rehearsed, thoughts she's thunk before. "Then all the sudden, we hooked up, and I went overboard. I'm. I'm really sorry."
She's looking at you now, not teary-eyed or anything, but this is important to her. "I don't think we're totally different, not about everything. I think, maybe, we could try to be friends." She puts a hand up, palm towards you, like stop, wait a second, "Just, you know, friends. It's... kinda lonely down here. You know?"
I walk as she talks, just ahead of her, eventually I stop to listen, then turn only after she apologizes. I let her finish before I answer.
"Kaykay," I begin, raising a hand, "look I don't... I don't really do the whole friends thing..." my voice cracks a little as I say so. I could use a fucking friend right? But they have a way of dying.
I just look at her a few seconds, she looks desperate. At least she's got herself under control, not losing her shit, going out and... yeah and fucking for chips. Yeah that's me right?
My expression softens a little and I waver with my mouth open for a second before I finally answer. "Ok... ok... hey let's just go fuckin' eat..." I shake my head slightly, a hint of a smile on my face.
I ain't saying yes, but I ain't saying no either. Let's see.
----------------
We pick up with the pair of you sitting on your butts on little blankets in Poptart's cabin in the sub. She took over the Radio Room, so there are racks of electronic components and wires on the few desks and counters in here. Poptart has a fake sleeping area, then a real area that's hidden in a compartment behind where you're sitting. You've seen it. Nobody else has.
How have things been between Poppy and you over these months? Have you come to visit her? Talked about anything, like Benton Harbor?
your mouth is watering something fierce as Poptart cooks up some fish and veggies. Spicy, mealy stew type stuff, cooked in an actual pot over a small fire on the counter. She's made a little firepit type thing. Smokes up the place, but well, what are you gonna do?
K2's taken off her coat, and you're probably sweating a good bit. It's warm in here, but not burning up. K2 is wearing a cool tank top with some letters on it. It rides up a little in the back, and you see she has some ink on her lower back now. Some kind of animal, maybe wings or something?
Poptart is finishing up the food, and K2 takes out the bottle of rum, opens it, takes a swig, then hands it to you.
Hot in the sub, huh? I probably got my hoodie off, just my t-shirt and jeans... I don't even have shorts to change into. I don't bring it up.
Poppy remains pretty much the closest thing I have to a positive older female in my life. We don't see each other often but it's always good... calming, maybe, is a good word for her. She's got it together, knows who she is right? I don't bring up that shit though. That's between me and my sister... and Hadden I guess.
Hadden...
Kaykay catches me daydreaming as she startles me with the bottle. I take it, take a drink. Makes me cough, I don't touch strong alcohol hardly ever. But it's good... the burn is good. I need it.
I almost comment on her tat, but... yeah I hope that ain't what I think.
I eat, blowing on the food to cool it and probably being pretty uncivilized about it. Manners? What me?
"Poppy, it's nice," I comment, "things good down here huh? Workin' out solid."
I nod to her, "yeah... somethin' like that." A scrap.
I'll finish my meal, might be the last good one I get in a while... going to be tough times. Not too much rum, but enough to feel a little buzz will do me.
Not going to stick around too long though.
Poptart nods, doesn't pry. You eat. K2 eats. Poptart fiddles with the radio for a bit.
After you're done eating and clean the little bowl (Poptart makes you), Poptart looks up, "Kaykay, can you give me and Silica some privacy?"
K2 looks up from her last bite. She took several big swigs of the rum, but she's not trashed, just a little giggly. It's like K2 wanted to unwind, needed to be near someone she trusts. She answers, "Sure." She picks up her bowl, comes over to clean it in the small pail of water like you did, but Poptart moves over to take it from her, "Now."
With another look over at you, K2 ducks her head, then leaves. When Poptart shuts the door, she turns to you. "Were you never going to tell me you and Rossi killed your dad?"
Why... why do I never feel like privacy is a good thing. Never.
She asks. The hell? It's hard not to be defensive, and I have to stop and remember to take a breath.
"Why should I fuckin' tell you?" I say, probably sounding harsher than I should. "I been tryin' to forget that piece of shit for the last five fuckin' years..."
Gotta think about that now?
Poptart lets you spit out that bit and doesn't flinch. She waits a beat, then answers, "Have you? Have you forgotten him? Has it worked for you? Holding it in all this time? Doesn't look like it to me."
I stand up from the table abruptly, slamming the heels of my hands on the table. I don't let her finish, "hell of a lot fuckin' better than it ever did with him!" I stare at her, anger and poorly concealed hurt on my face.
She's totally crossing lines with me here. Maybe she doesn't know it. Who doesn't think of my fucking father as the good doctor of Benton Harbor?
"I'll see you around," I turn to get my shit, which I usually toss near the door or wherever-the-fuck-I-happen-to-be. But there ain't nothin' to get. I just growl a little uncontrolled growl of frustration.
Getting the fuck out of here if she doesn't have anything better to say.
"Wait!" Poptart says with sudden urgency. She comes over to you, standing near, but not touching. Her eyes on yours, whenever you look at her. "I wasn't... fuck, Silica. You make everything so damn difficult. Listen, I know he was a fucker. And I'm sure you're mostly happy about it. Like I was when Frontie was killed."
She doesn't talk about her relationship with Frontside Grab Indie, but you know he claimed her as a wife for... a while. Until she escaped. "But there's history, too. And if you keep it in. It'll fuck you up, Silica. I thought that you could talk to me. I mean, fuck... why the hell else am I around? Rossi don't need me. She's got her big dick singer, all stuck up his ass."
She sighs, frustrated, "You wanna go, there's the door." Poptart stays there, near you, doesn't walk off in a huff.
She comes over and I snap at her at first, "I don't fuckin' make things difficult, Poppy, things are difficult."
But she goes on about Frontie, about that other shit. I calm down a little, answer her straight. But I got a hand on the door.. hatch... whatever.
"Well you got that much right... damn near every fucker with a cock out there ain't worth shit. I get ya, Poppy... yeah? But you ain't the one I want to be askin' me about what's in here," I touch a hand to my chest. "I'm already fucked up... but it's good. Ain't no shit hangin' over my head any more, I know what I am."
I can still feel him holding my head, tossing me down, her kick... yeah the whole world seems to know what I am.
"Only one asshole ever made me think..." I gesture towards out there with a wave of a hand, "maybe for a second that there's some guy out there worth givin' a fuck for. And then... you know..." A hepless little shrug. "It comes and goes. I don't get it... "
My chest hurts. Everything hurts. Reach out and save me? Did that even really happen... he's just a man right?
Poptart makes a sound of disapproval, looks away from you. There's a beat, like she's working through something in her head. "Stop being such a fucking pussy then." She says it like she's frustrated at you for making her give you love advice.
"Don't lose what makes you you, alright? But sure as fuck tell the guy you like him." Poptart glares at you, "Otherwise, you're just a coward. I always thought you were pretty fuckin brave. So... don't disappoint me, yeah?"
Yeah I almost snap at her again but she's... what, trying to encourage me?
"But... fuckin'...." fuck she's right isn't she? Doesn't he know it though? "Brave? Yeah?"
I shake my head to let my hair fall down my back nice, lookin' at her like... well, like I appreciate it. I do.
"Be seein' you Poppy... it's all good." I wait a beat before hitting the road. "Kaykay... seeya 'round!" i call to her, she can't be far.
Brave huh? That's in my head as I make my way through the uncomfortable metal tangle of this place.
K2 wasn't outside when you left, she must've went on her own way after Poptart asked her to go.
You run into Jester in the hall. He was coming through and stops, "Sil. Hey," He looks stressed. "Hey... you seen Rossi? Or Hadden?"
He startles me, not expecting him down here.
I shake my head no. "I ain't seen 'em..." but I'm looking for the same fuckin' people. "What up, Jesta? Shit goin' down?"
Damn, can't things just settle. Rossi's got that new gig... not that I'm happy abotu a fuckin' family clinic. But whateva. I know Haddie's got family shit goin' on... it's always like that huh? Family.
"Can help ya look?" I ask as a question.
"Thanks," Jester says as he pats your shoulder. "C'mon, let's walk and talk, kay?" He starts heading towards the port that leads out of the hold. "Found out Tindy's having that baby. Went to Rossi, asked her to help. She sent me out to get Hadden, but he wasn't around. Then, Rossi disappeared on me, too."He's limping fast, making you keep up.
He looks over at you, "I think I really pissed her off, Silica. I just wanted to save Tindy from freezing to death, and... I think the baby might be mine. I kinda, well, you know." He making an "in and out" gesture with his fingers to demonstrate.
"But it was TOTALLY BEFORE ROSSI AND I HOOKED UP! And I guess Rossi wants her dead, and doesn't want anything to do with the kid. I don't." He looks over, "I don't get it. How can she help people here, and not want to... she just hates kids, I guess. And fuck, Silica. I don't wanna lose her. I don't really wanna mess things up between us with a baby, but it's, you know, my responsibility to take care of my own fucking kid, right? You get me?"
I try not to show how much that pat disagrees with me, but ok... we walk together.
Jester probably sees a dark little smile on my face, "ok, Jesta... for real... you're seriously askin' me if a kid needs her father? Did you need a fuckin' father?"
I wait a moment for that to sink in... soon as I see it on his face I go on, "look, if Rossi wants someone dead they'd be dead right? She don't fuck around... and you ain't gonna lose her... ok? But you gotta say... fuck everyone else. All right? It don't matter when the fuck you hit that bitch. You're Rosie's now."
I hold my hands up like that's the way it is.
"You say marryin' words to Tindy? You the only asshole she fucked? No? She gotta do right by her kid, she gotta know who she wants around... Jesta' you got your own shit ta'deal with. We all gotta get by."
Man I don't sound very kind.... I know it. But for better or worse I made my own choices, shitty choices but I live with 'em... I gotta. So does she.
"So yeah... I get ya, you're a nice fuckin' guy... don't try and save the world," saying that makes me think of Hadden for some reason and a goofy little smile spreads across my face.
Savin' the world... yeah that ain't you Jester. Ain't you.
"Yeah..." Jester begins, hitching a limping step as he looks down at you. "You're right. Through good and bad, I'm hers. And Tindy did sleep around, that's no lie. I'm just... you know, I had a great pair of moms, lost them both. Family's important to me. I want to share that love with Rossi, and I swear, she'll never ever have a kid. I guess I was thinkin, you know, two birds, one stone."
Which makes you think about Lunch, of course. Frozen up there on the lake, the coagulated blood now icicles. Nobody to remember him but you.
Jester huffs a breath, "I'm good with it. I know the kid will be raised in the mines, and that sucks. Maybe I can find someone who wants to be a momma to it. Like Nini. Work my ass off on gigs to raise some extra, and then just but the kid off Squirrel.... if they'd just open Underlake back up." He looks over at you, "I really do love her, Sil. I don't know if you know, but I've changed a lot for her. I want to be the man who she can respect, and trust. And I feel like I kinda crapped all over everything over Tindy, and. Well, I don't know how to fix it."
The pair of you come out of the sub and run into Em-Six-Teen. She stops just short, "Hey Sil," Then, "Jester, Rossi and Hadden need your help. Tindy's safe, but they're moving on Merrell and somebody's got to take care of Tindy, she's pretty messed up." She looks at you, Silica, "C'mon, Sil. We could use you, too."
He goes on about Rossi, makes me shake my head and laugh. "Fuck, J, you go be in love... talk about makin' kids a coupla fuckin' years from now... you know I just found our my big sister's a fuckin' murder machine. Like... serious. Someday she's gonna get over that shit... maybe we got that started. You know?" I tilt my head and nod, of course I mean how we killed father.
He keeps talking as we walk, then when he's done I comment, "you don't gotta fix it... Jesta! Just be ok with shit bein' broken. She's fucked up... you're fucked up... be fucked up together! Forget all this other shit."
Jester swallows, sort of overwhelmed, but then, "Did Rossi go off for Tindy?" Em nods, like "yeah, of course." He looks to you, "C'mon, Sil, let's go help her, yeah?"
It's not immediate. I take a breath, let it out. Blink a couple times and wonder what the fuck I'm gonna do...
But they're my people, right? Gotta do what I can do.
I nod, but also add, "ain't there some other fucker can watch that bitch? J... oughta fuckin' come with us." I smack Jester on the shoulder.
Ain't that right?
Jester looks at you, thinking, "What about Arbor?"
Em says, "He's already there. That'd work."
Jester gives you a look for approval. I assume you don't fight him on that, right?
Shall we skip ahead to your arrival in Underlake?