[ISS] Run, Run Away (Ash 1.2, Tab 1.2)

Rich

Ashlee,


You barrel into the hallway out of the classroom, desperate to get away from that song, that horrible song, the one that burned into your brain lyrics like:

Not bothered about your color
Concerned about your creed
In the house of love, everybody's free

Not bothered about your color
Concerned about your creed
In the house of love, everybody's free

Everybody in the house of love
Everybody in the house of love
One love, one God
Everybody in the house of love

Everybody in the house of love
Everybody in the house of love
One love, one God
Everybody in the house of love

The ceaseless repetition, the mindless candy of the words, Four minutes and fifty three seconds long. Over and over and over again.

From this section of the ship, you could actually go to the bathroom, of course. Or sneak back to your room, the one you share with.. who is your roomie?

Where do you go?

scott

The song echoes through my head... mindless. There's no words, just noise. I'm comforted to know that the ones who put me through all that have probably died of the plague in the years past. At least.

No way I can just disappear in my room, I head for the nearest solace, the restroom.

Push the door open and go immediately to the sink and turn on the water. Drop my glasses on the rim and hastily splash my face a few times and try not to hyperventilate.

I'm pretty good at calming down once I'm on my own. It's when I'm stuck in a situation that I can't handle myself... unfortunately that's all too common.

I room with Nadja, who is way too popular and way too "cool" to be seen hanging out with me. She hangs a sheet over my bottom bunk and I'm supposed to stay in there out of sight. Makes me leave the room when we have company. Fine by me. Yeah, she only refers to me as "nerd girl" or whatever insult she finds funny on a particular day.

I run the water and drip-drip from my face and hair into the sink. It slowly starts to feel better. Soon I'll be able to just... breathe again.

Rich

The sink still drips even after you've turned it off. Who has bathroom duty today? Could you get them in trouble?

After a moment, you look up into the mirror, and see yourself.


For a moment, just a moment, you see your reflected image look at you sullenly. It's... out of sync, you probably looking miserable but in there you look angry?

"They should pay. They should pay." You see your lips move and hear the words somehow.

What do you do?

scott

"That's weird..." I say quietly out loud.

Wet hands on my face, I end up staring at my reflection. I meet eyes with myself and feel my hidden anger. They should pay... but what's the point? Frustration wells up inside... for what they do to me, and what I do do myself.

"Why can't I just fit in!"

As I stare, a long spidery crack appears and slowly works it's way along the polished glass with a glassified nails-on-chalkboard sound that makes my skin shiver. It speeds up and splits in a dozen directions almost like Hawk's stupid face has been smashed into the glass... I let out a little sound of uneven amusement at the thought.

I reach out a finger to touch it... yeah. It's on the inside of the glass. Kind of impossible, really. Actually makes me smile, and maybe letting it out like this, slowly, will help me feel normal again. As if anything is ever normal around here. Nothing around me ever really just works.

It's Zola on duty today, and yes I am tempted. I could probably trash the place and get her at least called out to clean up after me... but didn't I announce that I was coming here? I'm not that out of it. She would make me pay double for whatever I put her through.

At least I left an impossible mark... good luck figuring that one out.

A deep breath, "Ok, Ashlee... can't stay here all day."

Back to class. But I'm not in a hurry.

Rich

Ashlee,
As you turn to head for the bathroom door, Tabitha comes in. She scans the place in that precise way she has, then looks at you.

Tabitha,
You find Ashlee in the bathroom, the place is clean, as clean as most of the kids keep it. The mirror has a spider-crack on it you didn't see before, though. You know Zola has duty, she must have missed it.

halcy

No one else here. That's good. "Are you ready?" I don't reach out or motion to the door or anything like that.

I remember Ashlee talking about how she doesn't fit in this place. Feels disconnected. Has a problem with almost everyone. I think it would be easier for her if she didn't want anything from other people.

scott

She startles me when I turn to the door to find her calmy standing there. I wonder how long she's been watching. She's looking at the mirror.

After a long moment I blink and nod slightly. I remember to take my glasses from the edge of the sink and put them on as I ask,"did Malcolm send you to get me? I don't care if they give me Demerits...." my voice trails off at the end.

The way she stands there so calm is disconcerting.

halcy

"That's fine. Rys sent me." Zola hasn't been as watchful as she could be. Ourania would report it, so I will report it.

Ashlee has a tense posture. Halted. I step out of her way. "Demerits are serious. Demerits don't matter. Who gets to say one, or the other?" I'm focusing on the exit now.

scott

Little confused by her. Always am. Tabitha is just hard to read. I admire that, really, but it doesn't make it any easier to talk to her.

I walk to the door and notice how she steps out of my way. I want to make an impression, "they... they only matter if you care what people think." A glance up at her face as I pass. Only a glance, then I'm hiding behind my glasses again.

Back to class now, I wonder if she follows me, or passes me by. I know she won't walk with me.

halcy

She's trying to be fearless for me. The corner of my mouth tugs to the side.

"Or if you fear being punished." I follow Ashlee out and walk in step with her. I expect Olivar to be stupid.

The hallways are meant to be entirely uniform, but age has given them much more than their intended lack of identity. A refabbed panel here, a stain there, and it's actually very easy to navigate if you pay attention. This is something I'm thinking about besides Ashlee as we walk.

"Do you care. What I think?"

scott

The halls all look more or less the same to me, but there's a few of those details that stand out. My eye goes to anything that's broken.

Really surprised when she asks, "what? I..." Is she really asking, or is she just drokking with my head. It takes me too long to answer and if she could see my face she would see how difficult it is to decide what to say.

Finally I just quietly lie, "no... why should I care?"

My hair's still a little wet from the sink and feels cold on my neck. I shiver and wipe at it with my sleeve.

halcy

"Ah." I'm not sure why I asked or what my chest is tightening for. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly through my nose.

"So I shouldn't expect you. To talk to me again." I lean in naturally, focused on Ashlee's face. The question is in my face but not my voice.

scott

I slow when she leans closer. She's not letting it drop. Is she trying to start something?

No... it doesn't feel like that. Not like with Zola or Nadja, Ourania or any number of the others.

"I..." I don't look at her directly as we walk a little slower now down one of many cold metallic halls which make up much of our world. I hear our footsteps echo slightly with the occasional little squeak of shoe on floor.

"I didn't say that," I slide a hand back over my ear to draw my hair out of my eyes and finally venture a glance at her face.

halcy

"Good." What fills up everyone around me? What makes me so empty? People don't tell me those things. Usually I have to guess; I've learned not to ask. It was very interesting, seeing what was inside of Ashlee.

I relax, my shoulders shift back down. We're at the door to the classroom again, but I pause, keeping my eyes on Ashlee, before I open it.

scott

I don't notice when I do it, but again I usually defer to whoever's around. Tabitha gets to the door first, Zola gets the better seat, Nadja gets the first shower, or Jace gets to choose the project. Just sort of happens, you know?

Good? I pause when she does.

She's waiting for something, hand on the door and looking somehow a bit softer as she keeps watching me. Makes me nervous.

"What? Did... did you want to say something?" I ask quietly, pretty sure I'm wrong but then why is she waiting like this?

halcy

"Are you ready?" My fingers rest on the door, inactive. She seems nervous.

Returning to class is a thing I could take or leave right now, but it seems like what a valued member of the community would do. Plus, I don't want to look like I'm running away from Olivar. I guess I care what people think.

scott

Walking with her I'd sort of forgotten about the music, about how I just freaked out again in front of everyone. Worst one in a long while. I wilt a little as she prepares to open the door.

"Give me a second, ok?" I take a deep breath and let it out slow. "Bet everyone had a good laugh, huh?" A painful smile, hint of a laugh at my own expense.

It doesn't seem like she wants to go back either. I glance at her hand on the door, back at her face. Is she hesitating just for my sake?

halcy

"Sure." I let my arm go slack at my side.

"I didn't laugh." Neither did Mark or Pris or Ourania. I rub my scalp, pushing my soft, buzzed hair around. It wasn't funny. "Takes something funny for that."

scott

A couple of those names are uncomfortable to think about.

She didn't laugh? I wouldn't know... all i could see was the lights, feel the cold steel table beneath my shoulders, the faceless technician standing by to watch me suffer and take notes...

I shudder and suddenly speak up again, "so... um... it's almost meal break. Do I..." I should have said we, "really have to go back?" She may see my eyes glance up the hall. "Not like those two are going to want my help anyway..."

"Not after that," I finish the thought in my head.

Rich

As you come around the last turn to the cargo room that is your schoolroom, you pass near one of the known and obvious "live" cams. If you take a couple steps further down that corridor, whoever is watching will see you.

There's a soft hum here in this section of the ship, more noticeable without the steam pipes noises. You hear the sound of a scouring pad on metal. Wobble is working his un-school duty. Wobble, his real name's Rob, but he had a speech impediment for a few years and someone gave him the nickname that stuck.

Either of you - Who called Rob "Wobble" first?
Tabitha, what does Wobble call you, some nickname, like he thinks it's cool and doesn't realize they're mocking him?
Ashlee, what's wrong with Wobble's face, and what happened to him?

halcy

Wobble calls me Tabby like I'm someone's pet. It gets on my nerves, but then I get to call him Wobble so it balances out, more or less.

Rob's grandfather apparently called him Wobble first. They were close and the obvious happened. He refuses to feel bad about it. I'm still torked about Tabby.

"We should go back. Work on our assignments. Better than doing school in dorm-time." I turn my head and note where Rob is. I'd prefer not to get reported, either.

scott

Rob was injured in the fighting years back when we were all kids. Of course I didn't see it happen but he passed through medical while I was in there for evaluation. It was gnarly, you could see bone and for some reason there wasn't a lot of blood. He never cried, maybe it was shock. We never spoke but he seemed like a tough kid, I just can't get that image of his broken face out of my head when I see him.

They regrew the flesh as best they could, but it's not quite the same and his face looks a little off, little too strong on one side and a little loose on the other. Like he's wearing a mask of himself.

---

I sigh, "ok, yeah... you're right." Why does it feel like she's in trouble, too? Certainly not. "Cause I've got so much on my calendar." A little dry smile then I nod a little nod to indicate that I'm ready to go, and take a deep breath. And a glance down the hall towards where Rob is approaching. Easier just to avoid him I guess.

Ignore absolutely everything they say or do, Ashlee. Everything. Nobody exists.

Rich

Ashlee and Tabitha, please go here.