Green.
Hand moves away. From Louise. Half there. Halfway to being her. But not. Shake my head. Try to get some control. Still fuzzy. Still foggy. Not unpleasant. Look around. Vet is stoned. He gets handsy. Amorous. Horny. Move a few inches away, su…
Another memory as my mind flutters. It's strange. I have forgotten something. I... I am a good cook. I remember building a small fire outside of the place I shared with Vet. I'm peeling potatoes, cutting onions, we even had some meat I can throw in.…
My brain floats, my soul is released. Of course I will have more. I can pay for it, if she needs jingle. Maybe Vet will chip in, too. I can also trade for it. Do something for her. Doesn't matter, though. Going to take another hit. It's been so long…
The smoke fills my brain and I enter into a strange, dizzying haze. I am reminded of a time with Vet, back when I was still called Green and we lived among happy people. One would not know it to see me now, all lean muscle, a purely functional body,…
Music isn't my thing. Green liked music. Deg, not so much. Just sounds like noise now. Can fake it, though. For Vet. Keep him unsuspicious.
See folks drinking. Like to drink. Like being drunk. Only drink alone now. Drinking means Louise comes up o…
Louise. She does this. Want to reach back and take her off. Clean her. Not with Vet here. He sees me. Sees what I am now? He won't walk next to me.
Want to hold his hand. Badly. Hate myself for it. Feel helpless. At his whims. At his mercy. At her …
Nod when he says go back to town. Start following him.
"Where's Ften Lu?"
Damn. Shouldn't have asked. Then I realize.
I want to know. Where he's been.
Louise won't like that.
"I mean, what have you been up to? Since... we last saw each other."…
Have a friend. Talk to someone. Fuck, maybe, sometimes. Long as the mask stays on. Feel a connection. Companionship. Love.
"I don't know, just... let's hang out. Don't be angry."
Touch the tattoo. A little design.
"Nice work here. Where'd you ge…
Fuck.
Don't want this. Don't know what I want. Want... Dammit.
"Vet..."
Fucking mouth. Works before brain.
"Just. Let's just hang out. Okay?
Maybe that will do it.
Deg
Tense up.
Hand instinctively moves towards machete. Damn. Just a little further away than I want it...
I... never do that. Always right there. Let guard down. Because of Vet. Fuck. Got to learn.
Not going to use it on him. Just want to know …
FUCK.
I giggle. Just a little. Ticklish. Very. Very. Ticklish. And he knows it. Fucker. Fucking Vet. He knows me so well. No. He knows Green so well. I just... Share some of her traits. Not many. A few. Ticklish.
I push him away.
"Not mad. Just.…
Louise.
Yes. Green is dead. Eaten up. Nothing left. Lying to keep things easy. Easy is good. Easy means less suspicion. Just protecting you. Protecting us.
I love you.
Turn to Vet.
"You've seen. Just protection detail. For the caravan. Deg's a …
Names are names. They don't mean anything. Don't know why he's Vet. I'm Deg because that's what Louise calls me.
End of story.
"Um. Deg is nothing. Just a new name. For a new job."
Cringing. Feel the lie coming.
"I'm still Green."
Why. Why. Wh…
I'm one of the few people I know who can read. Don't tell anyone. Fluke, anyway. Old man I knew taught me. When I was young. No one knows but me. Well, Louise knows. Pretend I can't. Easier that way. Folks get ideas if they know what you can do.
Sa…
Vet.
Heart breaks. Just a little. Poor guy.
But...
My eyes wander back to mask.
Just a ski mask. Just sitting there. Something easy. Vet's not easy. Never has been. Green could handle it. Deg... maybe.
Maybe.
Not now.
"Yeah. Maybe. But, I got…
Poor guy. But still. Not my thing. Not now.
"Don't stay long."
Not lying. Don't.
"Vet. Maybe head back to Horse. Got a bottle in there. Yours. Then you'll be out of the way. I'll... be back later."
Guy in a mask. Yeah. Perfect. Get rid of Vet. …